Seeing Daylight
by Jessypt
Summary: She chose him.  He chose the rodeo.  Can her broken heart and a broken man be mended when a chance encounter brings them back together?
1. Chapter 1

Seeing Daylight

Seeing Daylight was written for MsKathy, who purchased me in FGB-Eclipse. What started as a one-shot became eleven chapters. I'll post a new chapter each day until it's complete.

Huge thanks to the prereaders and beta team: LZTZ, jadsmama, kikikinz, lexiecullen17, Jessica1971, & MsKathy. There are no words.

**SUMMARY:** She chose him. He chose the rodeo. Can her broken heart and a broken man be mended when a chance encounter brings them back together?

**Musical Inspiration:** All We'd Ever Need by Lady Antebellum  
http: /www (.)youtube (.) com/watch?v=Ypjo9PESHRE

**~*Chapter 1*~**

Bella drove down the dusty dirt road, her beat up Volvo slamming into the countless potholes and ruts that littered the road. She looked at the clock on her dashboard and grumbled. She was running late. Her last client had taken forever on the tour of his property, despite the fact she had told him repeatedly she only needed to take a cursory glance at the property and she'd do a more thorough review after the initial estimates came back. Of course, she'd seen him checking out her ass several times. That was the norm on the ranch and farm visits she'd been assigned to handle, and it annoyed the hell out of her.

Her thoughts turned to her boss, Tanya, and she gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. After working for First Bank for eight years, Bella was confident she would have gotten the new supervisor job, but Miss High and Mighty was determined to shut her out for some reason. Sure, she'd never been crazy about property assessment, but she had done a damn good job and consistently valued the properties well. She had outperformed her peers, and yet there she was, driving out to another ranch to meet another crusty old cowboy. As much as she might have liked to, she didn't have the patience or the energy to look for a new job. She was swamped with real estate to assess, and the bank had her driving all over the state. It seemed like her choices were limited, and it was a feeling she didn't particularly enjoy.

She rounded the bend and was caught off guard by the beautiful scene before her. She slowed her car to a stop and got out. Pulling her sweater a little tighter, she gingerly walked toward the edge of the road. The view before her was nothing short of breathtaking, awe-inspiring, even. A chain of rugged mountains sat on the horizon, and the silvery line of a river snaked along the base. A lush green forest of evergreens - some that had probably been there for years - filled the gap between the two and reflected a blurry watercolor of blues, browns, and greens.

As she got a little closer to the edge, she could see the bottom of the river. It was crystal clear and rippled gently as it followed its course. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, allowing the cool mountain air to fill her lungs. She opened her eyes and looked up. The sun had painted the most beautiful streaks across the sky; hues of pink, orange, and yellow blended perfectly with the already darkening blues and grays. Standing there in what could only be called God's country, she felt a sense of peace wash over her. It had been a while since she had just let herself stop and enjoy nature. It was something she and Riley had done a lot, but after… well, she still didn't want to think about it and turned her eyes to the beautiful countryside before her.

She noticed the many horses grazing peacefully in the rolling foothills and a rickety, old barn. It was weathered and brown and it looked like it hadn't been used in years, yet she couldn't pull her eyes from it. Something about it seemed familiar, but she shrugged off the feeling, knowing she'd probably seen something similar on one of her other ranch visits. She looked for other signs of life, a house or ranch, knowing she wasn't that far from her last client, but didn't see anything.

She had no idea how long she'd been standing there when her phone rang, the shrill beeping jerking her out of the serenity of the scene before her. She grabbed the phone out of her pocket.

"What's up, Jane?" she asked with a hint of annoyance as she answered her phone. She loved her assistant and best friend, but she really didn't have the time or inclination to talk to her right then about the latest in her everlasting saga of boy drama.

"Well, hello to you, too," she said sarcastically.

Bella could picture her rolling her eyes and sighed. "Sorry. I'm late for my last appointment, and I've been in the car all day."

"I figured that was the case. Your last client just called to make sure you were still coming."

"Shit! What time is it?" Bella asked as she walked around to the driver's side and slid inside. She looked at the clock and realized she had been standing outside for almost twenty minutes.

"It's 4:30. How close are you?"

Bella grabbed the directions off the passenger seat and quickly scanned the words on the sheet. "Probably about ten minutes. Can you give him a call and let him know I'll be right there?"

"Sure. Are we still on for dinner this weekend? Rose is dying to fill us in on her new job."

"Yeah, definitely. I am in desperate need of a martini and some girl time."

They both giggled before saying their goodbyes. Bella ended the call and quickly pulled back onto the road.

Ten minutes later, she found herself pulling up in front of a large home. In her rush to get out of the car and up to the front door, she didn't notice the unique stone façade of the house, the beat up red pickup in the driveway, or the words _Masen Ranch _forged in the wrought iron archway she'd driven through.

She knocked on the rough brown wood of the front door and waited. She ran her hands through her hair and down the front of her skirt in an attempt to smooth the creases that had formed. As the door opened, she felt the blood drain from her face and her jaw drop.

_Edward Masen._

Their eyes locked as her mind raced. How the hell had she not realized he was her client? She tore her eyes away, her face flushing with embarrassment or nerves or some unknown set of emotions she wasn't prepared to deal with, and quickly looked down at the information sheet she'd received from the bank. Sure enough, in bold, typed letters, was his name.

_Edward Masen._

She blinked a few times before looking back at him. She felt her mouth go dry as her eyes met his. They were the same piercing blue-grey she remembered, the same ones she'd tried to forget after what he'd done to her all those years ago. She could feel her heart pounding and her body heat rising as she slowly allowed her eyes to take in the man before her.

Time had been good to him. He looked older, but he was still absolutely gorgeous. She could make out the well-defined muscles of his chest, a chest she used to know well, and broad shoulders under the black t-shirt he was wearing. Her eyes immediately locked onto the blue ink peeking out from under the sleeve of his shirt. _The horseshoe. _She swallowed thickly as her eyes drifted downward, taking in the outline of his abs before settling on the old pair of Levis that hung loosely from his hips. Even relaxed and worn, his jeans couldn't hide his long, muscular legs. _Legs that had tangled with hers too many times to count._

The sound of a throat clearing forced her eyes to return to his face and the very satisfied smirk that had formed. She felt her face flush with embarrassment as she realized how blatantly she'd been checking him out… and that he knew it.

"Edward?" she asked, barely able to get his name to form as she tried to process the very sight of him before her.

A pang of sadness filled her chest, and she took a deep breath, pushing it down. _He left her. Not the other way around._ The anger she had worked so hard to get over bubbled to the surface, and she decided right then and there that she would not give him the satisfaction of seeing what his leaving had done to her. She hadn't shown him then, and she sure as hell wasn't going to allow him to affect her now.

"Bella," Edward said, his calm signature smoothness belying the way his heart was pounding at the sight of her before him. He couldn't believe she was standing in front of him, on his front porch, after all this time.

While she'd been ogling him, it had given him a chance to check her out, too. Seeing her before him like that, all glorious tits in her tight pink blouse and long legs in those black heels, brought back so many memories. She was exactly like he'd remembered, except even more beautiful. Time had definitely been good to her. Her hair was shorter than it used to be, but he kind of liked the way it swung loosely around her shoulders. Her eyes were the same dark chocolate brown, and her normally pale skin was flushed the most gorgeous shade of pink. _God, he used to love it when she did that._ His eyes drifted to her lips, full and shiny, and his chest tightened at the memory of how good they used to feel against his.

Unconsciously, he licked his lips and shifted slightly before trailing his eyes down to her chest. He took a minute to appreciate what had always been his favorite part of her body. There was never any doubt he was a breast man, but seeing the way the pink material stretched perfectly across her chest left no doubt. His fingers were itching to feel the weight of them, fuller now than they used to be, and he felt the pull of wanting to bury his face in their softness like he'd done countless times before. _Fuck._

He tore his gaze away from the clear buttons on her shirt and quickly looked at her long legs peeking out beneath the hem of her black skirt before she caught him eye fucking her. Hot damn, she looked good.

He looked back at her face and smirked. She was clearly flustered. He knew he shouldn't rub it in, but god, it felt good to see her standing there, checking him out, after she had issued him that ultimatum.

"See something you like?" he asked, deliberately playing the cocky cowboy card he'd played the first time they'd met.

Her face went from pink to red, and he couldn't help the laughter that burst out of his mouth. Bella, mortified, immediately swallowed her embarrassment, remembering how he had walked away from everything they had together. Every fiber of her being tensed with burning rage at his laughter. _He was such an asshole. _She clenched her fingers into fists and dug them into her thighs in a desperate attempt to keep it together.

"Just realizing again how lucky I am you walked out all those years ago," she said icily, her tone laced with a bitterness she hadn't felt in a long time.

Taken aback by her tone, Edward shifted awkwardly and put his palms up in an effort to deflect some of the tension.

"Hey, Bella, I was just teasing. I didn't… shit… I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He ran his fingers through his hair, eyeing her nervously, and gave her a small smile. He was being honest. Even after they'd broken up, things had been okay between them.

She held his gaze for a long minute before looking down at the stack of papers in her arms. She was still too shocked to even begin to process the myriad feelings she had swirling around in her head or the tingling in her stomach that was starting to make her feel nauseous.

She took a deep, calming breath. She needed to find some semblance of control. She was a professional, after all, and she wouldn't let him interfere with the job she'd come to do.

After what felt like forever, she looked up at him. "Look, this is awkward. It's clear neither of us were expecting to see the other. So, why don't we just get started and then I'll be out of your hair."

The detached tone of her voice didn't sit well with Edward. He had no idea why seeing her after all these years was affecting him so much, but he refused to let her see it. If she wanted to play hard-ball, then he would, too. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea," he said just as calmly, his voice turning to steel. "I'd like to get this over with before Alice gets back with Maria."

With that, he pushed the door open and gestured for her to enter.

_Alice? Maria?_

Bella's mind went into overdrive as she tried to process what he'd said. _Who were Alice and Maria? Was he married? With a daughter? _She certainly hadn't seen a ring or anything to indicate that, but then again, she hadn't expected to see Edward Masen, either.

She shrugged off the whole thing and stepped into the house without missing a beat. It didn't matter anyway. She wasn't there to get back together with him. Hell, she hadn't thought about him since she'd met Riley.

"After you, Edward," she said coolly.

The next two hours were spent in either terse, business-like conversation or tense silence. Edward was all business, his face serious and his eyes focused. He quickly explained what he was trying to do with the ranch and gave her a tour of the whole place. As she listened to him talk, she couldn't help but absorb some of the passion he exuded. The plans he had, if they came to fruition, would certainly turn this place into a state-of-the-art working guest ranch.

Bella tried to remember what it looked like the one time she'd been there in college but only vague memories came to mind. The barn, of course, was the thing she remembered most. It was made of rough brown planks and topped with an angled roof. It was unlike any barn she'd ever seen, and while it needed some work, Bella knew it would become the focal point of the entire ranch.

She was struck by how massive the ranch really was. Everywhere she turned, Bella could see nothing but open fields and mountains. It was majestic. As he walked her around, pointing out the improvements he was planning to make, Bella couldn't keep her eyes off him. His eyes, the feature she'd always loved most, had been the first thing she'd noticed when she met him in college. Well, his eyes and the way his smile lit up his face. Not to mention the way his jeans hugged every inch of his muscled ass and legs… or the way he looked sitting on top of a horse.

Horses instinctively made her think about the rodeo, and she wondered how things had been since he'd been injured. She hadn't followed his career closely, but she knew he had been at the peak of his career before a major injury had destroyed it.

"Bella?" Edward asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.

She jerked in surprise and looked at him in what she hoped didn't scream, _I was totally thinking about how hot you are. _"Yes?"

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Oh, um, no. I was thinking about some of your ideas for the ranch."

Ok, so maybe that was a stretch, but there was no way she was going to tell him she'd been thinking about the day he had asked her out. That would have completely countered the distance she'd put between them in order to get through the time together.

"Well, I was just saying the ranch is about five hundred acres. We don't use all of it, obviously, but there's plenty of room to expand the operation in the future."

She nodded and jotted down a few notes for later. He finished telling her about some of the inner workings of the property, but she couldn't concentrate. As they walked side-by-side, his shoulder casually brushed against hers, and she shivered at the sensations that inched up her spine.

He stopped and looked right at her. She could feel the depth of his penetrating gaze, and she desperately wanted to look away but couldn't. Her skin prickled, and her heart started pounding. She hadn't been looked at, _really_ looked at, in a long time. He took a step closer, and the air between them crackled as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. The simple, intimate gesture was so familiar. He had done that to her countless times in the years they'd been together, and yet it had never left her feeling so raw and exposed. It felt like every trace of life experience she'd accumulated over the last eight years had been scrubbed away with a rough brush. His eyes dropped to her lips and then back up to her eyes. The moment was pregnant with anticipation and tension.

He tilted his head, almost imperceptibly, and it was enough to break her out of her trance. She took a step back and looked around, anywhere but at him, feeling waves of mortified heat wash over her.

As if sensing he'd crossed the line, Edward mumbled a quick apology, and took a step back, motioning her toward the house.

They walked in silence for a minute or so until Edward couldn't take it any longer.

"That's pretty much it," he said as he followed behind her. He watched the sway of her hips, subtle and feminine, and felt his body start to stir. He tried to think about other things, but she was there, on his ranch, in the flesh. Despite the surprise of seeing her and the rocky start to their appointment, Edward felt a sense of calm wash over him. Being near her had always been like that. It was one of the things he'd loved about her. She was always so easy to get along with, always went with the flow, until he ruined it. He wondered what she had been doing since they'd separated. Was she happy? Did she ever wonder about him and what he'd done since they'd been apart?

Shaking his head, he pushed those thoughts out of his head. It wasn't time to rehash their history, but damn if he didn't want to reach out and touch her again, put his hand on the small of her back like he used to… Yeah, that would not go over well.

By the time the tour was finished, they were both emotionally drained. Bella's head was exploding with confusion and her body was on fire. She had forgotten how drawn to him she had always been, and things were no different that day. She could have easily gotten lost in the quiet excitement she'd heard in his voice or the way his eyes lit up as he talked about his plans to refurbish the ranch, but after everything that had happened between them, she just couldn't do it.

With a deep, resolute breath, she looked up at him. "Well, I think I have everything I need for now," Bella said as they stood in front of her car. "I'll work up an initial assessment and call you in the next two weeks. If you need something between now and then," she said as she pulled out one of her business cards and handed it to him, "just call my cell. I'm rarely in my office, so that's the best way to reach me."

Edward took the card from her and couldn't help the frown that formed.

_Bella Biers_.

He stood frozen, his eyes darting to her left hand. A simple gold band adorned her ring finger, and something inside him surged at the thought of her being married. Sure, he'd played it off as if Alice and Maria were his wife and daughter, but that was just an impulse reaction to her statement about him walking away. Hell, if she hadn't given him an ultimatum that day, they'd probably still be together, happily married with four kids.

When he didn't respond, Bella felt all the anger she'd been suppressing through the entire visit well up inside her. Her face flushed pink with anger, her heart started pounding, and her fingers fisted tightly, her nails digging into the tender skin on her palms. With a glare at the blank stare on his face, Bella climbed into the driver's side. As she slammed the car door, she saw him flinch and his head jerk, but she didn't stop or even give him the chance to stop her. She started the car and practically peeled out of his driveway. The squealing of her tires finally pulled him out of his daze, and as he watched her drive away, he felt like a complete fool. He hadn't said goodbye. Hell, he hadn't said anything. He tugged on his hair in frustration.

"Dammit!" he growled, knowing full well that his bad boy reputation, the one that was never really true, had just been reinforced. If she had any doubts about him being a complete and utter dick, she didn't anymore.

Irritated, he trudged back to the house, shaking his head at the crazy way the day had turned out. He closed the door and leaned back against it with a heavy sigh, his head hitting the cool, hard wood.

_Bella Sw-Biers._

He still couldn't get over the fact that she'd been there, had walked his property, and was now privy to his plans for the future... and she was married. He closed his eyes and finally allowed his thoughts to drift back to the moment he first saw her.

_~*13 Years Earlier*~_

_Edward was standing on the front steps of the Ag building at the University of Wyoming, waiting for his roommate, Marcus, to meet him before class. They were both signed up for Ag Econ 1000, and as much as he was looking forward to some of his classes, all he could think about was getting over to Cheyenne in preparation for the first rodeo of the season. _

_He and several other guys on the UW Rodeo Team were planning to head over there to practice with some of the professional riders. Edward had been riding his whole life but hadn't given much thought to actually pursuing it as a career. He had always loved riding, loved the feel of the glove on his hand as he gripped the rigging or the way he could control his own body as the horse bucked and spun in an effort to get him off its back. After winning the Wyoming High School Rodeo and placing in the top ten at the National High School Finals, his coach and a few recruiters convinced him to give it a shot._

_Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice Marcus walking up the steps. _

"_Hey, man," he called to Edward._

_Edward turned and smiled. "Hey."_

"_Ready to get this over with, so we can get our stuff ready for tomorrow night?"_

"_Yeah. Let's go."_

_They turned to walk in the building just as two girls were walking out. The girl closest to them had long blonde hair and was gorgeous. She was tall and slender and looked like some of the rodeo queens he'd been with in the past. His eyes flitted to the other girl. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail, high on her head, and her eyes, what he could see of them as she passed, were dark, probably brown. She was pretty enough, but it was her smile that did him in. It lit up her face, her eyes, and something in him moved. He had no idea what had just happened; he'd never had that kind of reaction to a woman before._

_Fortunately, she didn't catch him gawking at her as she passed him. _

"_Dude," Marcus whisper-yelled while backhanding Edward on the chest. "Did you see that girl's ass in those jeans?"_

_Edward nodded. Of course he'd seen her ass. She had on a pair of jeans that hugged her curves in all the right ways and knew how to move. He watched her until she was out of sight and vowed to find out who she was. _

_With a quick glance at his watch, he sighed before turning, for the second time, to walk into the building._

When he had seen her later that afternoon in front of his dorm, and eventually got the courage to ask her out for coffee, he felt like he was on cloud nine. Sure, he'd had his fair share of ladies in high school, but for some crazy reason, without knowing a thing about her, he felt drawn to her. Of course, it didn't hurt that she was fucking gorgeous, had a great ass, and a killer rack.

A knock on Edward's front door pulled him out of his happy memories. Turning, he opened the door and smiled when Maria practically jumped into his arms.

"Uncle Edward, did you miss me?" she shouted.

"Always, sweetheart. How was your day?" he asked as he carried her into the kitchen, throwing a warm smile over his shoulder and mouthing "Hello" to Alice.

"Oh my gosh! You are never going to guess what Sally was wearing when she came to school!"

Edward looked to Alice for help, and she shrugged her shoulders, effectively telling him he was on his own. "Well, what was she wearing?"

"You have to guess, silly," she giggled, rolling her eyes.

"You just told me I'd never guess," he said, a hint of sarcasm in his tone. At five years old, his goddaughter was exuberant and full of life. He loved that about her. She had literally been his saving grace when he'd gotten injured and had to walk away from riding.

"Oh, fine," she groaned in mock exasperation, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "She was wearing like two hundred silly bands. She had all the Disney Princess ones, and some were even sparkly. They were so cool, Uncle Edward! And Mommy says I should ask Santa for some, and I'm going to when I write my Christmas letter."

Edward smiled and laughed, feeling the tension from the afternoon encounter with Bella melt away as he pulled her in for a quick hug. He'd think about the day after dinner. There was no way in hell he was going to bring it up with Alice, and he definitely wouldn't with Jasper. Burying his nose in Maria's hair, he breathed in, relishing her innocence. Yeah… it would definitely have to wait until after dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

Seeing Daylight

**~*Chapter 2*~**

Bella's thoughts were all over the map as she pulled into her driveway. She had purposely avoided thinking about Edward during the long drive home. Anytime her mind had drifted back to him, she forced herself to think about her upcoming girls' night out with Rose and Jane, the plethora of clients she'd have to drive all over Wyoming to see over the next couple of weeks, and even Riley.

_Riley_.

She couldn't even begin to think about how messed up the day had been or how to reconcile seeing Edward with how she felt about Riley. She knew she'd have to think about it and the situation they found themselves in eventually, but it was too much to process for the moment.

She felt the waves of exhaustion she'd been holding at bay wash over her. She walked into the house, dropped her stuff on the kitchen table, and made a beeline for the shower. All she wanted to do was wash away the road grime, grab a glass of wine, and go to bed. She would think about everything else later.

The next morning, Bella awoke, disoriented, to the sound of her alarm clock blaring. She rolled over and slapped her hand against the top, desperate to make it stop. Her head was foggy from the two glasses of wine and the restless night of sleep she'd had. Despite the dulling effects of the alcohol, her brain would not stop conjuring up those memories. She had tried to repress them, but at some point, exhausted from fighting a losing battle, she'd finally given in, allowing eight years worth of happy and sad times to wash over her. Eventually, she fell asleep.

Seeing him the day before had caught her off guard completely. She couldn't quite shake the feeling that something was off. He wasn't the same person he was when he'd walked away that day.

Her heart ached as she felt the same stabbing pain of betrayal all over again. She tried to shrug it off, but it was too acute. Tears that she'd staved off all those years rolled down her face. She swiped furiously at her face, angry she was even giving him the satisfaction – even if he never knew – of her tears.

"Ugh!" she screeched as she threw the covers off and scrambled out of bed. "Enough, Bella," she said out loud to herself. She had too many other things to think about, and Edward Masen was _not_ among them.

By the time the weekend rolled around, Bella was more than ready for some girl time and a big glass – or two or three – of wine. She needed a chance to decompress and offload some of the crazy thoughts she'd been suppressing since Tuesday. As much as she'd tried to forget the whole encounter with Edward, Bella couldn't get him off her mind. Seeing him again had stirred up feelings she thought were long gone. A part of her felt guilty for even acknowledging them. It felt like she was betraying Riley by even remotely entertaining her memories or the fluttery feeling in the pit of her stomach whenever she thought about Edward.

As she pulled in front of Rose's apartment, she steeled herself for the onslaught of questions she knew she'd face as soon as she walked through the door. Bella had given the girls a heads-up about needing to talk. She'd been very cryptic when Rose pressed her for details on Wednesday. There was no way she was going to explain her run-in with Edward over the phone.

She raised her hand to knock, but before she could rap her fingers against the door, Rose jerked it open and started dragging Bella inside. Jane was perched on the couch, wine glass in hand, waiting eagerly for Bella to spill the details of the great mystery. Jane had tried to pry the information from Bella on Wednesday and Thursday to no avail. Bella had been tightlipped, refusing to give up the secret, much to Rose and Jane's dismay.

"It's about damn time you got your skinny ass here. I'm dying to know what this big secret is. Spill!" Jane said as she violently gestured for Bella to sit while Rose practically carried her to the over-sized microfiber chair.

Bella couldn't help but laugh. Those two were impossible, and she loved them both for caring enough to press - or drag the story out of her.

"All right, all right," Bella chuckled as she shrugged out of her jacket and reached for the very full glass of wine Rose had already poured for her. She smiled gratefully.

After a sip or two, Bella set the glass down and looked at the faces of her best friends.

"Two words: _Edward. Masen._"

Rose's mouth dropped open in shock. She hadn't thought about him or the shitty way he'd dumped Bella in a really long time.

"You have got to be kidding me," she practically growled. "What happened? What did he do?"

"Well, he didn't _do_ anything, but something definitely happened."

"Isabella Marie, you better spill every last detail before I freak out. I could kill him for what he did to you, and if you tell me he tried to start something or even attempted to hurt you again, I will kick his bronc-riding ass!"

Bella burst out laughing. She loved Rose's passion. Had Bella not been so devastated when he'd walked out of her life, there was no doubt Rose would have seriously busted his balls. There were no words for how furious Rose had been the day she found Bella a snot-sobbing mess, curled up on the couch.

Bella tried to rein in the hysterical way she was cracking up while Jane sat in confusion, watching the back and forth conversation that made no sense to her. "Um, okay, would someone care to fill me in on who the hell Edward Masen is and what he did to you?"

Rose laughed bitterly. "Edward was _only_ the love of Bella's life. And as for what he did to her… he chose the fucking rodeo over her." Her voice had taken on a tinge of anger Bella hadn't heard in a long time.

"What?" Jane gasped in surprise. "What do you mean he was the love of her life? What about Riley? How is it I've never even heard his name mentioned, like, ever?"

Bella held up her hand. It was clear she was going to have to fill Jane in on some basic details before she could really tell the story. Rose, of course, had lived through every minute of it with her. She knew about all the ups and downs of her and Edward's relationship. Bella had no idea what she would have done without her in the weeks that followed their breakup.

"Okay, so, I need to give you a little background, Jane. Rose will know most of the back story because she lived through it with me."

Bella took another sip of her wine and settled in for what was going to be a long, possibly painful, conversation.

"Well, as Rose said, Edward was the love of my life..." she trailed off for a second as Riley's face popped in her mind. She pushed it aside. Yes, Edward had been the love of her life, until she'd met and married Riley. She wasn't going to allow the situation to cause her to second guess her feelings for Riley. She pressed on.

"We met our freshman year at the University of Wyoming."

_~*Thirteen Years Earlier*~_

"_Mind if I sit down?" she heard someone say right before plopping down next to her. _

_She looked up, confused. There were two benches, and for some reason this guy felt the need to sit right beside her, and even worse, put his arm across the back of the bench like he owned it or something. Deciding not to encourage him, she turned back to the book she'd been reading without a hint of acknowledgement. _

_After a few minutes of silence, Bella noticed a gentle tugging sensation at the end of her pony tail. She turned to face the guy sitting beside her and rolled her eyes in annoyance. She took in his appearance and groaned. She had seen this act a million times – tight jeans, boots, and hat – and had no desire to get involved with another cocky, asshole, wannabe-cowboy, even if he was hot as hell._

_She stood up, gathered her stuff, and started to walk away without so much as a backward glance. _

"_Hey!"_

_She sighed in exasperation as she turned and lifted her eyebrow in question, waiting for this guy to take the hint. She watched him jump off the bench and walk over to her. _

"_Look," he said, pulling his hat off his head and nervously swiping his hand through his hair. The brim of his hat swayed slightly as he toyed with the edges. "I didn't mean to come off like a jerk. I saw you this morning coming out of the Ag building, and now you're sitting in front of my dorm building..."_

_Oh, for the love of God, you have got to be kidding me. Is this guy serious? Bella had heard this line too many times to count, and she really wasn't in the mood to deal with it today. _

"_Well…" she paused, waiting for him to offer his name._

"_Edward. Edward Masen."_

"_Well, Edward Masen, I'm Bella. I live in this building, too, and I imagine we'll probably be seeing each other a lot, so if you'll excuse me, I've got stuff to do." She knew she was being rude, but she didn't want to give him an inch, knowing full well he'd run with it, just like every other guy like him she'd dated in the past. _

"_Oh, right," he said dejectedly. He stared at her for a second, and in that short bit of time, she took in his whole appearance. He had great eyes - a rich, steely grey-blue – and a messy mop of brownish red hair that was partially flattened from his hat and sticking up where he'd run his fingers through it. As her eyes traveled down his body, she couldn't help the way her throat tightened imperceptibly at how gorgeous he was. His white t-shirt was snug against his chest and revealed a hint of blue ink under the sleeve. She had never really been into tattoos before, but seeing the way it peeked out and molded to a very defined bicep had her feeling a little flushed. Dipping her eyes a little lower, she noticed the way his jeans sat low on his hips, were tight in all the right places, and hugged the muscles of his legs quite nicely. Bella felt her face grow warm as their eyes met. He licked his lips nervously and gave her a weak smile. _

_Something inside her stirred. Maybe it was how hopeless and defeated he seemed or the way his bicep flexed when he raised his arm, lifted his hat, and ran his fingers through his hair, but she felt an unfamiliar sensation tugging her toward him. _

_He shifted awkwardly before finally opening his mouth to speak. "Bella, I, uh… damn, I'm not... I know I've already given you the worst impression, but uh, I was wondering if you'd maybe give me a chance to prove I'm not an arrogant asshole. I don't normally do this, and I definitely don't want…" He groaned and took a hopeful breath. "Would you want to get coffee or something with me sometime?"_

_He was so adorable. She was completely intrigued by his transformation from cocky to awkward in a matter of minutes. As she thought about his offer, she decided to give it a go. It was only coffee, after all, and he really was pretty hot. If it was terrible, she could always leave. _

_She cleared her throat and waited for him to look up at her. Bella's amused grin broke into a full out smile when their eyes locked. _

"_Sure. I'm willing to give it a go."_

"_You are?" he asked in stunned disbelief._

_She laughed a little and nodded. He was cute._

"_Great! Um, okay… when do you want to go?" Edward asked excitedly, confidently sticking his hat back on top of his head._

"_Well, I'm free now," she said with a smile. "Are you?"_

_He grinned. "Definitely. Yes, I'm definitely free right now."_

"_Let me run my stuff upstairs. How about I meet you back here in fifteen minutes?" she asked with a big smile on her face. Yes, this was going to be fun; she could already tell._

"_Perfect."_

"Coffee that afternoon turned into dinner and a date on Sunday night," Bella said with a smile on her face. She knew her face was flushed thinking back to that weekend and how much fun they'd had together.

Jane giggled, and even Rose cracked a smile. It was easy to remember the way Bella had come home that night practically glowing, giddy and overflowing with stories from their date. Rose had never seen her that way, and it was definitely a side of her that she grew to love. When Bella was with Edward, they were both so carefree. They had fun together, even until the end. But it was the sadness in Bella's eyes, the tears and hurt, and the way she had fallen into a deep depression that had haunted Rose for a long time. Hell, it was eight years later, and she could still remember the day she found Bella like it was yesterday.

"So, what happened next?" Jane asked, forcing all eyes back on Bella.

"Well, we basically spent the next four years together. We had so much fun. I mean, like any relationship, it wasn't always great, but we were good together. He was my first love, my first everything, really, and I truly believed we were going to get married."

"Yeah, that _was_ the case until he got sucked into the glamour of rodeo life," Rose interjected, her voice bitter again.

"So, he was in the rodeo?" Jane asked.

Bella took a deep breath. This was the hard part. This was the part of their relationship she didn't like to think about. The rodeo had literally ripped them apart, and it still hurt to think about it.

"Edward was on the rodeo team in college. He grew up riding horses with his dad and actually won the state rodeo finals his senior year of high school. I think at first it was just something fun to do, but the more he competed, the better he became. By our senior year, he was gone all the time. It was like there was some rodeo he _had_ to be at every weekend.

"I thought I could live with it. I mean, I was his biggest supporter. I wanted him to succeed and go as far as he could, but after a while, I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take the constant stream of rumors about him being with every buckle bunny he came in contact with. I don't think he ever cheated on me, but there was always this cloud hanging over us. With him gone all the time, I started to doubt things, and when he got called up for some big competition the night of our senior formal, I knew it wasn't going to work."

Bella felt her heart clench at the memory. She closed her eyes and tried to keep the tears that caught in her throat from slipping out. She didn't want to cry over him anymore. She hadn't in eight years, and she didn't want to start because he'd somehow waltzed back into her life unexpectedly.

She felt a hand on her leg and looked up to see the very concerned faces of her two best friends staring at her. She squeezed Rose's hand and looked at Jane with a sad smile.

"Bella, you don't have to tell me anymore. I have a pretty good idea what happened," Jane said.

"Thanks, Jane. I know. I guess it feels like now that I've started, I need to get the rest out."

With another squeeze of her hand, Rose let go and scooted back over to her seat on the couch. Bella took a deep breath and continued.

"The night it all ended, I pretty much gave him an ultimatum – me or the rodeo. I wasn't even talking about me over the rodeo forever. It was just for that weekend, for my formal. He knew it was important to me, that I had spent weeks planning the event, but it didn't seem to matter."

_~*Nine Years Earlier*~_

"_Bunny, I know this is a big deal to you, but if I miss this rodeo, I may not make it to the finals."_

_Bella looked at him with little sympathy as she sat on the couch in their apartment. Of all the times he was backing out on something, he had to choose the one event that meant the most to her. This was their senior formal. She had told him months in advance, well before he got his rodeo schedule. He agreed he would be there. They had talked about it ad nauseam as dates had slowly gotten added to the calendar. _

_Her heart twisted, breaking with every frustrated step he took as he paced back and forth in front of her. She knew what she was asking him was going to be a sacrifice, but it was no different from all the sacrifices she'd made for him. There were countless examples of things she'd wanted to do with him but gave up because he was out "riding the circuit," as he so often put it._

_As she tried to figure out if this argument was really worth it, she decided if she backed down now, she'd be doing it forever. No, she couldn't do it this time. This was the one event she'd asked him to attend, the one time she needed him to be there for her, and if he couldn't do it, then… she couldn't keep doing this. _

"_Edward, do you realize how selfish you're being? I never ask anything of you. I've never asked you to miss a rodeo, but I am asking you this time. This is something I've been working on and planning for months, and this time I need you to be there… for me."_

"_Oh, come on, Bella. Don't turn this into some overblown issue. You know I'd be there-"_

"_No, I don't, Edward, because you never are. I have been your biggest supporter the last four years. I have traveled with you, put aside things that were important to me, without asking anything of you. I've done it willingly, because I love you and want the best for you. I'm asking you to do the same for me for me now." _

_He ran his fingers through his hair roughly, a frown marring his otherwise gorgeous face. She could see him warring with himself, trying to decide how to do this and satisfy them both. He took a deep breath and looked up at her, and she knew. She could see it in his eyes, the way they darted just past her without meeting hers directly. She knew he wasn't going to come with her. She knew he had chosen the rodeo over her… again._

_She felt all the anger and hurt from the past four years well up inside her. Tears pricked at her eyes, but she refused to let him see her cry._

"_Bunny," he whispered, sadly, "I have to do this. I have to see where this takes me. If I make the finals and win, it could mean a real career for me. Please understand, baby…"_

"_I understand, Edward. I understand that once again you're choosing this over me, over us. I can't do this anymore. I can't always come second in your life. I won't," Bella said, her voice strained and barely audible at the end._

_Edward stared at her, stunned._

"_So, you're just going to give up on us? Just like that?"_

"_Do you even have a clue what it's like to constantly play second fiddle in your life? No matter how much I love you, support you, it'll never be enough. I miss you when you're gone, Edward. I hate hearing the constant buzz from the bunnies about you, how hot you are, how good in bed you are…"_

_She threw it out there, waiting to see if he'd give her anything to confirm or deny the heinous rumors she'd endured the entire time they'd been together._

"_What? Bella, I have never cheated on you. Never."_

"_Ugh," she groaned. "This isn't even about that. I know you haven't cheated on me, but that's part of the problem. I hate the constant doubt about what's going on, whether or not you'll come back to me in one piece, the constant worry and fear, I just…" she sobbed, her voice cracking as she tried to get it all out. "I just can't live like this anymore. It hurts too much."_

_Tears rolled down her face, dripping onto her pink top. She couldn't look at him. Everything in her screamed at her to stick it out, to give him one last chance, but she knew. She knew it would always be like this, and she just couldn't do it anymore._

"_So, that's it? We're done?" he asked, his voice soft, sad, as he sank down on the couch beside her. She could feel the heat radiating off his body, and she wanted to curl into his side, feel his protective arms wrap around her and hear him tell her everything was going to be okay. But it didn't happen like that. _

_She nodded her head without meeting his eyes. "Yeah, I guess we are."_

_His fingers brushed against the back of her hand before he slowly tangled them with hers. The gesture, one that represented who they had been from the beginning, was intimate and bittersweet. There would be no more nights of cuddling together on the couch, watching reruns of Seinfeld or old movies. There wouldn't be any more long walks across campus or slow dances at the local bar. They sat there in the silence of their apartment, trying to absorb everything that had happened and what it would mean for their lives. Everything they thought would happen no longer would._

_After what felt like hours, Edward released her hand, whispered he would always love her, and slowly walked out. As the door closed behind him, Bella let all the anguish and pain of her broken heart tumble out. She crawled into the corner of the couch and cried for the life she would never have with the man she thought was her future._

"Rose found me there after Edward called her. I don't really remember much of what happened in the weeks that followed. At some point, Edward came by and got his stuff, but I wasn't there. I didn't want to see him. I knew it would hurt too much."

The room was quiet as Bella stopped talking. She looked between Jane and Rose and waited for them to say something. Without a word, the two of them climbed onto the arms of her chair and wrapped their arms around her.

For Rose, hearing Bella tell the story again reignited the anger she still felt toward Edward. Sure, he had called her to make sure Bella was okay that night, but she was the one who'd had to pick up the pieces, had to watch her best friend fall apart and struggle to find herself again. She took a deep breath and willed herself not to respond.

Jane brushed a strand of Bella's hair away from her face and gave her neck a squeeze. As she thought through the story, she couldn't help but feel a sense of anger at this Edward Masen guy. She knew people broke up all the time, but she couldn't imagine why someone would choose something as stupid as rodeo over Bella.

"Well," Jane said, breaking the slightly uncomfortable silence that had settled over the room. "He clearly has no idea what he missed out on, does he?"

Bella and Rose laughed before Rose sat up and looked at her quickly.

"Wait! So, how did this whole thing even come up?" she asked. Bella had never actually said where she'd seen him or how this situation even came up. "And what's with him calling you, 'Bunny'?"

"Oh, yeah," Bella laughed again. "That's kind of a funny story, actually. You know how I mentioned there were always girls – the buckle bunnies – following him around, trying to get his attention?"

Bella didn't wait for them to respond before she continued. "Well, one day I got completely fed up with it. A girl can only take so much blatant flirting by girls before she snaps. It was stupid really. I knew deep down I didn't really have anything to worry about, but I wanted to show those damn girls that he was mine. So, I dressed up just like them. I mean, I pulled out all the stops. I bought a pair of those jeans, the really tight ones with no back pockets that are designed to show off your ass, and I wore a skin-tight black and hot pink body suit that left my shoulder caps exposed and my cleavage – with the help of a Wonderbra – pushed up and practically spilling out of the deep V in the front. I curled my hair and sprayed it so it hardly moved, painted my face, and put on my black boots and hat.

"After his last ride of the night, I boldly walked up to him and ran my fingertip down his chest and purred. No joke. I purred and told him in no uncertain terms I was available. The look on his face was priceless! And the girls were staring at me like I'd gone insane. They glared at me and twisted their faces in disbelief. I think they were surprised when Edward, after finally realizing it was me, pulled me in and kissed me. Like really kissed me, right there in front of them. It was classic.

"After that he started calling me 'Bunny,' as if I was his own personal buckle bunny. It started off as a joke, but over time it just stuck." Bella couldn't help the smile that had spread across her face at the memory of that night.

"I never knew that," Rose said with a laugh.

"I can't believe I never told you that story."

Bella looked over at Jane who had a smile on her face but still seemed to be confused.

"So…" Jane started, but Bella interrupted.

"And as far as where I saw him, well, it turns out I had to assess his ranch up in Jackson Hole. I literally knocked on the door and there he was. I was absolutely speechless. The whole thing was awkward as hell."

"Are you serious?" "No way!" Rose and Jane practically shouted as they jumped off the chair and stared at Bella.

"I cannot believe you were at his ranch! How did you not realize you were going to meet him?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, didn't you see his name on the forms?" Jane added.

"Honestly, no. I've been so busy, I really didn't pay attention. I have literally been going from client to client, just barely having time enough to read over the basics. I looked at his first name, purpose of visit, climbed out of the car, and voila, here we are."

Bella could tell her friends were skeptical, but she had no idea why. She hadn't seen or talked to Edward since he'd walked out that night. She had kept tabs on him in the beginning, but after she left for Europe and then met Riley, she hadn't looked back.

"What?" Bella asked incredulously. "Why are you guys staring at me like that? You act like I'm hiding something…"

"Well, are you?" Jane asked suspiciously.

"What would I possibly be hiding? I told you guys everything that happened."

"Hmmm," Rose said as she crossed her arms and started tapping her finger on her chin, pretending to be in deep thought. "Let's see… maybe it's the convenient way that you casually glossed over all the normal details like how he looked, what it was like seeing him again, blah blah blah."

Bella rolled her eyes but couldn't help the blush that blossomed on her cheeks.

"I knew it!" Jane screeched. "OMG! He was totally hot, wasn't he?"

Bella shrugged noncommittally, but deep inside she knew differently. Yeah, he was definitely still hot. Those blue-grey eyes of his had scorched a path up and down her body when she stood at his front door, and she couldn't help the tingle in her belly at the thought of him doing it again.

After heated stares and a little more prodding, Bella eventually caved and told them exactly how the whole thing went, complete with the eye fucking at the door, the brush of his shoulder against his, and her general inability to take her eyes off him. By the time she was finished, her stomach was in knots, and she felt that unfamiliar stirring in her stomach again.

"So, when do you see him again?" Rose asked curiously with a hint of disdain for good measure.

"Rose, you act like we're going out again. That's so not going to happen. I probably have to make one more trip out there for the full assessment and to finalize details, but other than that, it was literally a chance encounter. And besides that, he's married… and has a daughter."

"Really?" they both asked, surprised, just like Bella had been when she found out.

"Yeah. I think his wife's name is Alice, and his daughter's name is Maria. They weren't there when I was, but he mentioned them. Honestly, there was very little conversation that wasn't business related. The whole thing completely caught me off guard, and I was quiet most of the time, trying to process where the hell I was and how I ended up at his ranch. It was surreal."

"Was he still as hot as he was in college?" Rose asked, quirking her eyebrow saucily.

Bella dipped her head and could feel her body temperature rise. She knew her face was going to be bright red. There was no hiding the fact that he was still hot, and she had definitely noticed.

"Oh my gosh! Are you crushing on him?" Jane squealed excitedly.

"Absolutely not! He's married, for heaven's sake. And I'm definitely not going there again. Period. I'm done with conversation."

"Come on, Bella," the girls whined, wanting more details, but Bella refused to give in. She was exhausted from telling their story. Plus, it had been a long week, and truthfully, she really wasn't ready to tell anyone how much she had actually been thinking about Edward. It was ridiculous, and she knew, even though they were her best friends, they would have a heyday with it. No. She definitely wasn't ready for that.


	3. Chapter 3

Seeing Daylight

**~*Chapter 3*~**

Three hours away, Edward spent his Friday night alone. Jasper and Alice invited him over for dinner, but he had declined. He wanted some time to think. His head had been a mass of confusion since Bella had arrived at his ranch earlier in the week. To say he had been shocked was putting it lightly. He hadn't expected to see her again, especially not after she'd broken things off in college.

He flicked the reins of his horse, Sugar, urging her forward with a squeeze of his thighs and click of his tongue. This had always been the place he felt most like himself, the place he could think most clearly. He loved the feel of the magnificent animal beneath him and how they became one with every step forward. Edward remembered the many nights he'd escaped from his life, in college and then on the circuit, and just spent quiet time with one of the many horses in the stables. There was nothing like the smell of earth, hay, and manure to get you grounded in reality, and that was exactly what he needed.

He breathed in the cool evening air, relishing the way the twilight of the evening bled into darker shades of night, and thought about his week. _ Bella._ She was still just as gorgeous as he remembered, and yet there was something different, more mature, about her that he couldn't quite put his finger on. She was certainly older, but it was bigger than that. Perhaps it was the way she carried herself or the band on her finger, a flashing sign telling him she was someone else's now. The fact the thought of her being available had even crossed his mind puzzled him. Sure, he had thought about her over the years, but it had been fleeting. A bronc was always waiting as his name was being called over the loud speaker, not to mention the hordes of buckle bunnies that threw themselves at him.

She was certainly right to have broken things off. In hindsight, all he had truly cared about then was getting from one rodeo to the next. The blazing lights, the roar of the crowd, and the feel of the adrenaline coursing through him just before the bronc flew out of the shoot had been all-consuming.

Of course, all that had come to an end three years ago, and the perspective he had gained since then had been nothing short of depressing. He had long believed that rodeo was everything and that he would always have it, but his injury that fateful day had since proven him wrong. He thought about the boxes of trophies and buckles he had won over the years, still packed in one of the closets in his house, and shook his head at his naiveté. He should have realized then how meaningless they would be in time, but it was only after deep introspection and the loss of his parents that he had realized how empty his life truly was.

When he had arrived back at the ranch after his injury, his mom had asked what she should do with them. In the darkness of a devastating injury, he didn't want the reminder visible, and he'd told her to put them away. She'd pushed back, of course; she always had been his biggest cheerleader. But he couldn't bear the thought of the shiny gold and silver, taunting him with a life he would never have again.

The splashing of water jolted him out of his thoughts as they moved across the creek and out into the open range. As they made their way up the hill just on the other side of the creek bank, he inhaled sharply. The sky was stunning, streaked with pinks, oranges, and purples. Edward sat there and watched the sun slowly sink behind the mountains, leaving a warm glow in the air.

His thoughts naturally drifted back to Bella, much like they had all week. No matter how busy he had been, mucking out stalls, fixing fences, or training new horses, she was never far from his mind. He had refused to indulge his wandering mind, but there in the quiet of the night, he allowed his thoughts to run their course.

She was as beautiful as ever, and her attitude, while more pronounced, was the same as it had always been. He couldn't help but notice the air of sadness she carried with her, however. Even in their tensest exchange that day, she had seemed unsure and confused, something he had only seen one other time from her – the day he had walked away from her for good. The sadness in her eyes when she realized that he wasn't going with her to the dance, that he was heading to the next ride instead, was heartbreaking. Even now, he could still remember the quiet desperation of her plea, the cool ultimatum – her or the rodeo – and the silent resignation when his choice had been made as they sat on the couch, holding each other and saying goodbye.

A nagging thought, one that he had pushed aside all week along with all his thoughts of her, managed to break through his carefully constructed walls. _Would he make the same choice again? Given the way everything turned out?_

He shrugged off the question. It was pointless to dwell in the past and in all the 'what-ifs'. He couldn't change the past, and even if he could, it didn't matter because she was married now.

With darkness rapidly descending, he tugged on the horse's reins and rode home.

~*SD*~

The remainder of the weekend and the first half of the following week passed uneventfully. Edward spent his time much like he always did, working on the never ending list of daily chores and repairs at the ranch. Today, however, he needed to meet with Jasper on plans for refurbishing the guest houses down the hill from the main house and stables. Between the two of them, they were determined to gut the buildings and fully restore them to their original pristine condition. Edward walked up to the first building and ran his hand down the doorframe, inspecting Jasper's workmanship. He could hear hammering in the background and knew he was hard at work.

"Jas? You there?" Edward called out as he looked into the dark room. With no answer, he trudged over to the next house.

"Jasper?"

"In here," he hollered.

Edward followed Jasper's voice and the sounds of the hammer hitting wood. When he turned the corner, he saw him hanging a new panel onto the side of the building.

"Wow," Edward said, letting out a slow whistle. "I didn't realize you had gotten this far. This looks great."

Jasper brushed his forearm across his brow, wiping away the sweat that had formed. "Thanks, man. It's definitely coming along."

Edward stood there, surveying the rest of the work that Jasper had done in his absence and was immediately reminded again of how great his friend really was with wood. He had talked to Jasper about it being the signature project for his new business, and it was clear he was going the extra mile.

"Have you heard back from the bank?"

Images of Bella unexpectedly flashed through his mind – her soft brown eyes, tight skirt, pretty pink blouse, full pouty lips – and he felt his chest tighten at the memory. He had been trying, successfully until now, to put all thoughts of her aside. She was married, and despite the reputation he had somehow garnered on the circuit, he had never been one to play with fire like that. Still, the feel of her shoulder brushing against his as they'd walked the property or the feel of her skin when their hands had touched did funny things to him.

With what he hoped was a nonchalant breath, he turned to face Jasper. "No, not yet. I should probably give her a call."

"Her?"

He swallowed. Edward could feel his face heating up.

"Um, yeah, the person they sent to check out the property was a girl."

"Okaaayyy," Jasper drawled. "So why are you blushing and stammering like an idiot?"

"I'm not stammering, you dick. She was hot. Sue me."

"Hot or not, I've never seen you blush over some chick. Hell, you had half the bunnies on the circuit itching for a chance to get a piece of you and you never once responded like this. What aren't you telling me?"

Edward knew better than to try and hide anything from Jasper. They had been together since his early days on the pro circuit, and Jasper had the uncanny ability to detect any hint of bullshit Edward tried to throw his way. Plus, he was right. He'd had his pick of girls back then, but he'd rarely indulged. And the few times he had, they had been blonde. He couldn't bring himself to be with anyone that remotely reminded him of Bella; it was just too painful.

Edward wasn't sure he wanted to tell Jasper about Bella. He knew bits and pieces about their past, but Jasper certainly didn't know the full story. He wasn't sure he really wanted to rehash it all right now, not when it didn't matter, anyway.

"Well?" Jasper asked, tossing his hammer to the ground, walking over to one of the newly built benches and taking a seat. He stretched his body out, legs extended forward and arms draped across the back, and stared at Edward.

"Well, nothing," Edward quipped back.

"Edward, you know I can read you like a book. I know something's up, and you know you're going to tell me. So, just save us both the trouble and spill."

With a deep resigned sigh, Edward looked at him. "Fine, but I need a beer. Let's go."

Two hours later, Edward had filled Jasper in on all the gory details of his and Bella's relationship. He told him about the first day he had seen her, the way she had supported him and been his biggest advocate, and the way it all ended.

"So, when she showed up on my front porch step last week… let's just say it was an unexpected and very pleasant surprise," he said as he took a long pull on his third beer.

"Wow." Jasper leaned back in his chair and shook his head in disbelief.

Edward looked over at him and groaned. He had seen that look a million times over the years and had a pretty good sense for what he was thinking.

"Wow? That's all you've got?" Edward asked in mock disbelief.

"No wonder she dumped your ass. You chose the rodeo over the love of your life?"

"I never said she was the love of my life… Plus, I had to see where it was going to take me," Edward said, trying to justify his decision all those years ago. But even as the words left his mouth, he knew how hollow they sounded. She _had_ been the love of his life, and if he was truly honest with himself, no one had come close to making him feel what she had all those years ago. Sure, there had been plenty of hot bodies, eager for a ride, but it had never been more than that. He had never dated anyone seriously since she left… or since he left her.

Almost as if he could read Edward's mind or sense he was hiding something, Jasper cocked his head and pressed further. "I call bullshit, man. You may not have used those words, but it's clear as day in the way you talk about her. So, are you going to call her?"

"She's married." Edward's tone was surprisingly flat and resigned. Until the conversation with Jasper, he hadn't given much thought to what they really had.

"And how do you know that?" Jasper asked skeptically, knowing full well Edward must have checked out her finger while he was checking out the rest of her.

"Ring."

"Ahhh, I see. Well still, you need to call her. We need an update on the assessment so that we can get the loan approved."

Edward nodded, knowing Jas was right, and felt a little spark of something unfamiliar well up inside. Yes, he definitely needed to call her.

~*SD*~

Bella was buried under a pile of paper and almost endless assessments. The more she drove all over Wyoming, the more she hated her job. She hated being cooped up in her car all the time and even more, having to deal with client after client trying to push the limits – of the bank and with her.

As she sat at her desk on Thursday afternoon, she picked up the next application in her never ending pile and flipped it open to see Edward's name staring at her. She groaned and closed the file before standing up. She needed a diet coke or something much, much stronger to get through it. She had successfully managed to avoid thinking about him since Friday. Well, not completely, but mostly.

After she'd left Rose's place on Friday night, she had decided it was time to put Edward Masen into the "client of the bank" category. She couldn't spend her time dwelling on what had happened between them. She was a professional, and he was married. Besides, she had moved on years ago, spent time travelling, and then married Riley. They'd had a happy life together until he passed. She didn't want to think about that either, but in some ways her memories with Riley were easier to remember than those with Edward.

Meeting Riley had literally changed her life. He has been different from Edward in every way possible. When they first met, Bella hadn't imagined ever wanting to date anyone else. Her heart, even after a year in Europe, was still on the mend, and a big part of her wasn't sure she would ever get over it. Of course, Riley had changed that with his slow but fervent advances, his constant stream of compliments, and most importantly, his faithfulness. There was never anything more important than Bella to him, and he _never_ canceled on her. She was his priority, and for someone who had been dumped by a cowboy in love with the rodeo, that meant the world.

Things started out slowly between them but soon progressed. Riley was tentative, always trying to make sure Bella's needs were met, and Bella, in many ways, had never felt more loved. As time passed, they fell into a comfortable routine – traveling, cooking together, and just having fun. Not long after Bella turned twenty-four, Riley proposed, and six months later they were married.

Her wedding day was one of the happiest days of her life. As she walked down the aisle that day seven years ago, she saw Riley standing at the front.

_~*Seven Years Earlier*~_

_She watched Riley's face as she made her way down the aisle toward him. His face was exactly like she'd imagined and hoped it would be. Riley was staring at her, his jaw partially open, a half smile on his face, and a look of pure awe and adoration. She knew Riley loved her, cherished her, but in that moment, she got a little glimpse of just how much._

_As soon as she'd made it to the end of the aisle, he took her hand, his face still the picture of amazement and love. He leaned in, his lips brushing lightly against her ear, and whispered, "Bella, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Thank you for choosing me."_

_Bella felt her cheeks warm and her eyes fill with tears._

"_Thank you, Riley, for choosing me and for loving me always."_

_After placing a tender kiss on her cheek, they moved in front of the minister._

_Bella had no idea what the minister said. She was completely lost in the man standing before her, the man who have given her unconditional love, the man who had made her feel whole again. As she repeated her vows and the rings were exchanged, Bella felt herself fall a little more in love with Riley. _

"_I now pronounce you husband and wife. What God has joined together, let no one put asunder," the minister said. "You may now kiss your bride."_

_Riley looked from the minister to Bella and gently cupped her face in his hands. His lips were tentative, light as a feather, until Bella, full of wonder and passion and a plethora of other awe-inspiring emotions, leaned into him. They stood there, lost in each other, oblivious to the crowd around them. All they could think and feel and taste was each other. Breathless, they parted to the sound of cheers._

_Flushed from Riley's kiss and a little embarrassment, Bella dipped her head and smiled shyly._

"_Come on, Mrs. Biers, let's go party."_

The next five years were happy and full of love. Riley was a passionate man, and Bella loved that about him. They spent hours talking about books, theater, and places they wanted to visit – many of which they did – and Bella thrived. She loved being the center of his world, not selfishly, but because he was the center of her world, too.

Everything changed on a cold winter night. Bella remembered it like it was yesterday, rather than the two years that had passed. It had been raining, and the forecasters had predicted it would turn to sleet as the temperature dropped throughout the day.

_~*Two Years Earlier*~_

"_Hi, baby," Bella said into the receiver of the phone. "You heading home?"_

"_I am. Just wrapped up with this customer visit. What's the plan for tonight?"_

"_Well, the weather's supposed to get pretty bad, so I've got a pot of chili on the stove and some cornbread in the oven. I was thinking we could spend the evening watching a movie or something."_

_Riley moaned a contended sigh. "That's exactly what I was thinking… and maybe a little more," he said suggestively._

_She couldn't help the giggle that escaped. "Maybe if you're lucky," she replied coyly. _

"_There's no luck about it. You know you want me," he said with a laugh. _

_Bella couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. "Be safe, love." _

"_Always am. I'll be home in about thirty minutes. Love you, Bella."_

"_Love you, too," she said as she hung up the phone. _

_The next thirty minutes passed quickly as Bella finished getting dinner ready. She was just setting the table when the phone rang. Knowing it was probably Riley telling her he was stuck in traffic, she picked up and laughed._

"_Traffic that bad, honey?"_

"_Mrs. Biers?" an unfamiliar voice asked, snapping Bella to attention._

"_Yes, this is she."_

"_Mrs. Biers, this is Officer Clearwater with the Wyoming Highway Patrol."_

"_Oh, God…"_

"_Your husband, Riley, was in an accident and has been taken to Memorial Hospital in Rock Springs. He's in critical condition-"_

"_What?" Bella interrupted. Her heart was pounding in her chest to the point she could barely hear what he was saying._

"_Ma'am, a car crossed the center line and hit him head on. He was taken by ambulance to the hospital," he said calmly._

_Bella felt anything but calm. Her whole world was crumbling around her, and all she could think about was how to get to him. She had to get to him. _

"_I have to go," she said quickly as she hung up the phone. _

_Her hands shook as she tried to dial Rose's number. In a blur of words, she barely managed to get out enough details for her to understand what had happened. _

"_Stay there, Bella. I'll be there in five minutes," Rose said firmly, knowing full well that Bella was in no condition to drive, especially not on the now-icy roads._

_While Bella waited in the kitchen, pacing back and forth in a fit of worry and desperation, she refused to let herself think about anything but getting to Riley and him being okay. He had to be okay. He was her world, and she couldn't survive without him._

_By the time Rose arrived, Bella was practically climbing the walls. She had to get to the hospital. Rose quickly surveyed the kitchen, turned off the stove and oven, and forced Bella into a coat before escorting her to the car. The drive to the hospital was deathly quiet as Bella chewed on her bottom lip and fidgeted, a mannerism Rose rarely saw from her anymore._

_They parked in emergency parking and quickly made their way to the nurse's station. _

"_We're looking for Riley Biers," Bella blurted out frantically. _

_The nurse looked up and nodded before looking back down at her computer screen. She tapped the keys on the keyboard and Bella wanted to rip the keyboard out of her hands. She couldn't stand watching the woman peck out each letter as if Bella's whole life wasn't falling apart with every passing second._

_Finally, the woman looked up and smiled. "He's in surgery right now, ma'am. Please have a seat in the waiting room and I'll make sure the doctor knows to find you when he gets out."_

_Bella just stared back at her as if she hadn't heard what she just said. "But… but I need to see him," she stammered. _

"_I'm sorry, ma'am. There's nothing you can do except wait," the nurse said kindly._

_Rose wrapped her arm around Bella's waist and pulled her to the waiting room, forcing her to sit down. Bella's legs bounced in a nervous, constant staccato that accompanied the swooshing of the glass doors and the noises coming from the television on the opposite end of the room. _

_Time passed at an agonizingly slow pace. As Bella sat there, everything inside her screamed that something wasn't right, that she needed to get back there to make sure Riley was okay. Unable to take it any longer, Bella started pacing furiously, desperate to make the time past faster._

_Forty-five minutes later, the double doors opened, and a doctor in a pair of dark blue scrubs and a matching blue hat walked out and spoke with the nurse at the reception desk. She pointed over to Bella and Rose. He nodded grimly, taking in the sight before him, and knew his job was going to be a tough one._

"_Mrs. Biers?" he called softly._

_Bella stopped her harried movements and turned to face him. She took in his attire and his haggard appearance as she made eye contact. He asked her to follow him, and the sinking feeling that had been building in her stomach all night finally shifted to a serious case of nausea. Bella clutched her stomach and Rose was instantly by her side, steadying her and whispering that everything would be okay._

_They rounded a corner and the doctor waited for her to enter a small room. Bella stood, frozen, just inside the door, until Rose tugged her toward the couch and gently rubbed Bella's arm over and over in a soothing gesture. _

"_Mrs. Biers, I'm Doctor Black. I was on call when your husband arrived this evening." He looked down at his hands before looking back up. "His injuries were quite extensive, and despite our best efforts, we were unable to save him." _

_Bella's quiet sobs were the only sound in the room. Rose pulled her into a hug and held Bella while she cried. Doctor Black sat there, waiting for her to calm down before continuing. After innumerable tears had fallen, he called her name, compassion marking his face and voice._

"_Mrs. Biers, if you are ready, I can take you to see him. You don't have to, but…"_

"_Okay," Bella said in a raspy, tear-filled voice._

_He rose slowly and Bella followed. Rose sat back, waiting to see if Bella wanted her to come. Bella turned to face her and reached for her best friend's hand. She knew she would never make it through without Rose. With their fingers tightly linked, they made their way down a long, plain hallway. The doctor pointed them to the door and told them to take as much time as needed._

"_I'm sorry for your loss, Mrs. Biers," he said quietly._

"_Thank you."_

_Rose pushed open the doors and waited for Bella to enter. The room was sterile, and the smell of antiseptic and hints of blood mingled in the air. The trashcan was overflowing and trays of medical instruments sat just off to the side, but Bella didn't notice any of it. All she could see was the man she loved, her partner and best friend, lying on the bed, his body covered with a white sheet. She stifled a sob as she moved closer and saw the dark bruising on his chest and shoulders, as well as the cuts that marred his otherwise perfect face._

"_Riley," she choked out, as she leaned forward and rested her head on his chest. Sobs wracked her whole body as she clung to his lifeless body. "I… ca-can't… do this… with-without you."_

_Rose watched as her best friend crumbled before her very eyes. Tears flowed down her face as she watched Bella cry for the man she desperately loved. She hated feeling helpless, but she knew there was nothing she could do except wait and support her in whatever way she needed. When Bella's tears slowed and her breathing evened out, Rose walked up and placed her hand on Bella's back._

"_Hey, sweetie, let's go home," she cooed soothingly._

_With a subtle nod of her head, Bella slowly untangled herself from Riley. With one last look, she leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against his lips. _

_Her fingers brushed through his hair, softly, in the same way she always did when he was troubled or she needed to feel him. "I love you… always."_

That had been two years ago, and Bella still missed him desperately. He didn't consume her every waking thought as he had early on, but he was never far from her mind. She glanced at the picture of the two of them on their honeymoon in Belize and smiled. So many happy memories.

And yet, she found herself a bundle of frayed nerves every time she thought about Edward. She couldn't figure out how to reconcile the love she felt for Riley and the sense of loss she felt without him with the blossoming feelings and thoughts she was having about Edward. Exasperated, she sat down at her desk and placed her drink and bag of chips next to her. Determined to put him out of her mind, a valiant effort to put off the inevitable, she picked her way through several other files before coming back to Edward's.

_He's just another client._

With a deep breath, she opened the file and started entering the data into the computer. As she scanned through everything, she groaned in frustration when she realized she had forgotten to complete several of the forms for converting his personal residence into a business. Not only would this mean another three and a half hour drive, but it also meant seeing him again.

Her stomach clenched at the thought, and a nervous, uncomfortable feeling settled over her. She needed to call and set up another appointment, but she wasn't sure if she could stomach the idea of actually hearing his voice. Maybe she would have Jane do it for her. The clock in the lower right hand corner of her computer screen told her it was almost time to wrap up for the day anyway.

Definitely tomorrow, she thought as she shut down her computer.

~*SD*~

The next morning, Bella walked into the office with her mug of hot tea and three vanilla bean scones from Starbucks. They were one of the few sweet treats she ate when she was stressed. Something about the smooth, sweet icing that coated the crumbly scones just put her in the right place.

As she made her way to her office, she glanced at Jane's desk and saw that her computer was off. She was reminded immediately that Jane had requested a vacation day to go see her mother. Bella groaned and slinked into her office, allowing her laptop bag to sink to the floor with a thud. She flopped into her chair and refused to face the day. She knew she was being ridiculous and overreacting, but the buzz of nervousness and hints of guilt she felt every time she thought about seeing or talking to Edward were just too much, especially since he was married.

She huffed, irritated with herself for even allowing those kinds of thoughts to cross her mind. Where were they even coming from? She hadn't thought of him in years, and now, all of sudden, she was in a constant battle with herself to ignore them. Determined to do the professional thing, she flicked on her computer. As it was booting, she gathered the information she needed and picked up the phone.

With the phone cradled in her ear, she took a few deep breaths, which she internally berated herself for needing at all, and dialed his number. The phone rang and rang until it went to voice mail.

She left him a quick message asking him to call her and leaving her number, and hung up. A wave of disappointment washed over her, and once again, she had no idea why she was allowing him to get to her. _Get to her?_ She shook her head in annoyance. There was no 'getting to her', because there was nothing to get. He was married, and she wasn't interested.

Several hours later, Bella was lost in a sea of property assessments when her phone rang. Absentmindedly, she picked up the phone.

"This is Bella."

"Bella, it's Edward," he said, and her breath caught.

"Oh, um, Edward, what are you doing?" she asked, flustered.

"I was calling you back. You left a message for me this morning?"

"Right," she said stiffly, annoyed with herself for acting like a moron. "I realized when I was processing your paperwork that I neglected to get some of the information I needed. So, unfortunately, I need to come back out and do some additional assessments. Is there a time that would be convenient for you?"

Edward couldn't help the way his heart started beating at the thought of seeing her again. After his conversation with Jasper, he had pushed all thoughts of her aside and decided to let it go, but hearing her voice brought it all back.

"I'm going to be out of town until Thursday. Would Friday work?"

Bella scanned her calendar and realized she could probably make a Friday afternoon appointment work. She already had two other clients booked that day, both in the morning. That would give her plenty of time to make the long drive out there.

"I can do Friday at three. Will that work?" she asked as she clicked open a new appointment.

"That'll be fine. Are you sure you want to drive all the way out here? Can I answer any of this over the phone?"

Bella couldn't help but feel a stab of annoyance. She knew he probably didn't want to spend any more time with her than was necessary, especially on a Friday afternoon after being gone all week, but she needed to check out his property again in order to finish this assessment.

"I actually have to do some additional assessments, which means I need to see the property. I can always come a different time. I know you'll probably want to spend time with your family after being gone," she said, her voice cool and detached.

Edward could hear the hint of iciness in her voice and felt a twinge of guilt at having misled her. He knew he needed to set the record straight, but he didn't know how to go about it.

"No, Friday is fine. I don't have any plans for the evening or the weekend, so that should work."

"Alright, well… I guess I'll see you on Friday then…" Bella said, trailing off.

"Yes, Friday."

After a few more fumbling statements and awkward pauses, they both hung up the phone. Bella leaned back in her chair and sighed.

_Friday._

~*SD*~

I am humbled by your response and kinds words! I love your reviews and your theories! Keep'em coming! There are some links on my profile if you want to check out how I see Edward in this story (hence the eye color change) as well as his tatts. Thanks so much for reading this story!


	4. Chapter 4

Seeing Daylight

**~*Chapter 4*~**

Edward stood in the kitchen, his back rigid, and his eyes flitting between the clock on the wall and the window facing the long driveway. His stomach twisted nervously as he waited for Bella to arrive. The entire week he'd been gone, he had thought about this meeting and what it would feel like when he finally saw her again. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't quite get the emotional part of his brain to shut up long enough for the rational side – the side that told him he was setting himself up for more loneliness, more heartache – to give him an ass kicking. It didn't seem to matter how many times he told himself she was married; his thoughts were plagued by memories of her and their time together.

The crunch of gravel dragged him away from another trip down memory lane, and he moved to the front door, watching as she stopped on the concrete pad in front of the house. She turned off the car and sat there for a second. From Edward's limited vantage point, she looked nervous. She checked her makeup and spent what felt like five minutes gathering and arranging her stuff before the driver's side door opened.

Bella climbed out of the car and adjusted her clothes. She had spent an inordinate amount of time in her closet that morning before deciding on jeans, a pair of boots, and a plaid button down shirt with pretty pearlescent buttons. She knew it was almost stereotypical, but she was also trying to be practical. She would be walking his ranch again, taking measurements, and getting up close and personal with some of the less than glamorous parts of the property. She didn't want to do that in heels and a skirt.

She looked at the house and felt her heart start to beat wildly. The entire drive there, she'd been filled with a strange sense of trepidation. She knew it was ridiculous to feel anything other than professional, but she couldn't get past the idea of spending time with him again. Shaking her head to clear away all the thoughts she'd been trying to keep at bay since she'd spoken with him over the phone, she made her way around to the passenger side, opened the door, and quickly gathered her stuff. With a quick, calming breath, she walked toward the front door.

Edward watched as she slowly made her way up the sidewalk and onto the porch. He could hear her shuffling around and waited with bated breath for her to knock. After what felt like five minutes, but was certainly only seconds, he heard the telltale signs of her fingers rapping on the rough wood of his front door. Not wanting to appear overeager, he waited for a minute and even went so far as to march in place before putting his hand on the knob and twisting.

He shook his head at his own ridiculousness, mentally berating himself for acting like such a moron. As the door opened, they both stood there, awkward smiles on their faces, waiting for the other person to speak. Eventually, Bella's head unclouded and she stuck out her free hand.

"Hi, Edward, it's good to see you again."

Edward looked down at her hand and then up at her. He cocked his head to the side, surprised by such a formal gesture, and then took her hand. His hand closed around hers, and he felt the memories rush around him – the time he held her hand for the first time across the table at the local coffee shop, walking on campus to class, and at the bar after every rodeo. He gripped her fingers, feeling the warmth and softness he had come to associate with her all those years ago, and felt the familiar current of energy between them. He squeezed her hand and smiled at the whole scene. It was weird.

"Hi, Bella, it's good to see _you_ again," he parroted back to her before releasing her hand. He nervously shoved one hand into his front pocket and ushered her in, grandly sweeping his other arm in welcome. "Come in."

She stared at him a second longer than necessary, trying to process the swirling sensation in her stomach at the feel of her hand in his, and carefully stepped into the entryway. She felt his hand settle onto the small of her back as he guided her into the dining room and stiffened slightly.

He snatched his hand back, like he'd touched a hot iron. "Um," he began, running his hand through his hair before settling it on the back of his neck. "Would you like something to drink?"

Bella couldn't help the smile that pulled at the corner of her lips. She had seen that gesture countless times and felt a sense of relief that he was just as nervous as she was. She shook her head and set her bag in one of the dining room chairs.

"No, thank you. I'd like to get started if that's okay with you. I want to make sure we have plenty of daylight left. I'd hate to have to drive out here again and monopolize another one of your afternoons," she said with a laugh.

"Oh, okay. Well, let's get started then."

Bella quickly opened her bag and got out the paperwork she needed, her clipboard, and a pen. She watched as Edward walked toward the front door, his jeans comfortably tight on his long lean legs. His white t-shirt left nothing to the imagination as it stretched across his chest and arms, highlighting the subtle definition of his muscles. It was clear he was still in great shape, and as Bella gave him another roving glance, she felt the heat rise in her cheeks.

Edward stopped at the entrance and picked up his hat, one that was different from and yet so familiar to the ones she had seen him wear in college. As he set it on top of his head, his eyes locked with hers. Bella felt her insides twist as the blue of his eyes darkened slightly before he opened the door and looked away. Bella blinked and swallowed thickly, trying to clear away the tension that was slowly starting to consume her. She needed to get out of there before her head became even more muddled than it already was.

Edward led the way toward the main portion of the ranch after asking Bella what she needed to see. They walked in silence, a good foot between them, but anyone watching would have been able to see the many sidelong glances they were giving each other. As they strode down the paved pathway, Bella's mind wandered to all the 'what-ifs'… what would their life have been like if he hadn't left her? Would he still be on the rodeo circuit? Would they be married? Have had kids?

As they came upon their first stop, Bella was grateful for the distraction. She knew it was futile to dwell on or even ask these questions, but she couldn't keep her head from going in that direction. The man walking the ranch with her was not the same person she had known nine years ago. That man was gregarious and full of life, cocky even. This Edward was quiet, almost subdued. As much as she preferred not to admit it, she knew from occasionally checking up on him over the years that he'd been injured, and she wondered what life had been like for him since then. She wanted to ask. She wanted to dig in and figure out what had really happened to him, but she didn't. He certainly hadn't given her any indication he wanted to have that kind of conversation, and why would he? He was married with a daughter. No, there was no point rehashing the past.

With renewed determination, she shoved all those useless thoughts away and got to work. Bella spent the next hour taking measurements of the barn, getting a tour of the new sleeping quarters and dining hall, surveying some of the far out parts of the property, and finished up with a look at some of the horses. The longer she worked, the more at ease she became.

Edward wondered what was going on in her head and if she was thinking about him – them – as she squatted under stalls, climbed over railings, and walked his property. It was clear she was comfortable and in her element as she moved about, taking notes. She was meticulous, almost to the point of annoying, as she asked a plethora of questions, trying to gain deeper insight into all the ways he was hoping to transform the ranch.

He couldn't take his eyes off her as her hair fluttered in the wind or the way her eyes took in everything with such intensity. He enjoyed the subtle sway of her hips, the way her fingers were constantly brushing loose strands of hair out of her eyes, or how she would furrow her brow in concentration as she pulled the pencil from between her lips to jot something down.

The longer she was there, the more he wanted her to stay. He loved seeing her on his property, and as irrational as it was, he couldn't turn off the myriad thoughts racing through his mind, including his appreciation for the way her jeans hugged her body in all the right ways, accentuating her small waist and the soft curve of her hips.

"So, I think I'm done here."

Startled, Edward's eyes flashed up to meet hers, and he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face or the pink that slowly tinged his cheeks at being caught watching her so intently.

"Oh, right. Okay. What next?"

Bella walked toward him, making a few last notes on her clipboard. "I need to finish this paperwork. If I can take just a few minutes inside to make sure I've got everything I need, that would be helpful."

Edward nodded and walked her back to the main house. They made idle chit chat along the way, just enough to keep the awkwardness at bay. As they stepped onto the front porch, his fingers itched to tug on her ponytail, something he'd done countless times when they were together. Instead, he placed his hand on the bend of her elbow and ushered her inside.

As Edward's fingers wrapped around her arm, Bella stiffened, caught off guard by the warmth and tingling sensation she immediately felt. She closed her eyes, trying to savor the feel of his touch.

Edward immediately recognized he'd crossed the line, quickly removing his hand as he mumbled an apology. He felt sick to his stomach from touching her. Not because he didn't want to. Hell, that was all he'd been thinking about for days, but he knew better than to touch a married woman. He'd never done that on the circuit and he sure as hell wasn't going to do that to Bella.

"Make yourself at home," Edward called out as he walked into the kitchen. His heart was pounding – either from exhilaration or nerves. He leaned against the cabinet, confused by all the feelings whirling around inside him. He tried to pull himself together, mentally berating his feelings. He knew it was stupid to feel all these things or at least to allow them to have such an impact on him. He was the one who had left, and he needed to remember she had moved on. With a deep cleansing breath and his mind resolved, he walked back into the dining room.

"I was just getting ready to come find you. I finished up all the paperwork and will get this processed first thing Monday morning. I expect the loan you've requested will be approved easily."

"That's great," Edward said, surprised things would actually get moving so quickly. He hadn't expected it, but he was grateful; he knew Jasper would be ecstatic.

They stood there for a few seconds as the silence in the room grew. Bella shifted awkwardly under Edward's penetrating gaze, and in an effort to ease the tension, she grabbed her bag.

"Well, I guess I'll be going," she said. It was funny how reluctant she suddenly felt. Throughout the drive to Edward's and when she'd first arrived, she had been desperate to get out of there as quickly as possible. Now that she was faced with the real prospect of not seeing him again, she wasn't sure she really wanted to leave… and yet, she knew she should. She wasn't sure how she would handle spending time with him as a casual acquaintance. Edward was married. He had a family and he definitely didn't need or want to spend the evening with her in his home. She straightened up and hoisted her bag on her shoulder.

Edward scratched the back of his neck. "Um, right," he said hesitantly. "Before you go, I was wondering if I could get you a drink, maybe catch up on what's been going on the last few years…"

He trailed off as he saw her shake her head, but he was determined to get to know her again. He knew this newfound obsession didn't make any sense, but he didn't care. He wasn't ready for her to go.

"Come on, Bella. It's one drink. For old time's sake?"

Bella looked up at him, and when he smiled, she knew she couldn't say no. That smile, the one where he cocked his head to the side and his lips quirked up lazily, had won her over so many times that it wasn't fair.

"Okaaay," she drawled, rolling her eyes. "Just one. I have to get on the road, and it's a long drive."

He couldn't help the huge smile that broke out across his face.

"Heineken okay?"

"Yeah," she said as she set her bag back on the ground before following him into the kitchen.

She watched as he leaned into the open fridge, his ass sticking out and perfect as he grabbed the beers. He didn't notice the way she was checking him out as he moved with ease around the kitchen or the way the muscles in his forearm flexed as he popped the top off each bottle. Turning, he handed her one, the green bottle glinting in the light. She took it and watched as he took a swig from his own. Bella felt her stomach tighten as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down when he swallowed and at the way he licked his lips when he pulled the bottle away from his mouth. Seeing him so casual was like a blast from the past. How many times had they grabbed beers in their own kitchen after a long day of class or after getting home from the rodeo? Too many to count.

Her cheeks flamed as his eyes locked with hers, and she hastily tipped her bottle back in an effort to cool down. She didn't need him to know how affected she was by him, especially not after all these years.

"So…" she said hesitantly, trying to figure out what she was going to say to him.

He walked toward her and nodded his head toward the living room. Following behind him, she managed to pull her eyes away from the back of his shirt to look around his house. It was absolutely gorgeous, rustic and manly, but still tastefully done. It was clear a woman had done most of it, and Bella couldn't help but wonder what his wife was like.

As they entered the family room, Bella gasped at the view the windows on the far wall afforded. She could see the mountains and the stable clearly, along with a handful of horses milling about. She took a few steps into the room and took it all in – the heavy brown leather couches, the antler chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the stunning rock fireplace that Edward was now squatting in front of, and the beautifully arched wooden ceilings. It was different from when she'd been there before, but it still felt familiar.

"This is really gorgeous, Edward, especially the view," Bella said as she walked over to the fireplace. She handed him a log of wood to put on top of the two he had already placed in there and smiled.

"Thanks. My mom redecorated this place a couple of years ago. I haven't really done much to it, truthfully, except keep it clean."

He struck a match, and they both watched as the kindling caught and the fire slowly billowed to life. Standing, he grabbed his beer from the mantle and walked over to one of the couches. Bella followed and sat across from him in one of the large chairs next to it, wondering where his parents were or if they had moved somewhere else. She'd only met them on a handful of occasions, but she remembered how nice and welcoming they always were.

They both sat in silence, drinking their beers and trying to work up the courage to speak. It was clear they were both nervous, neither knowing what to say now that they were stuck in the moment together.

Eventually, Edward cleared his throat and smiled tightly. "So, how have you been?"

Bella licked her lips before rubbing them together, an old habit she had tried to break but had long since given up on. "Well, I work for the bank. You know that, obviously," she chuckled. "Other than that, my life is pretty boring."

He nodded and then decided to go back in time a bit, to a time that might be easier to talk about. "What happened after college? Did you end up traveling like you had planned?"

Feeling some of the tension dissipate at the thought of him remembering, she exhaled and smiled easily. "Yeah, actually, I did. I spent a year traveling all over Europe, getting odd jobs when I needed money. I started out in Paris then moved on to Rome and Florence, then did a tour of the Eastern-bloc countries before circling back around. I ultimately ended up in Spain. That's where I spent the last four months."

"Sounds amazing. Favorite place?"

"It's hard to say, honestly. I really loved some of the smaller places I visited, but even the bigger cities had so many amazing things to see and do."

"So, why Spain? Four months seems like a long time when there are so many other places to see."

"I sort of fell in love with it. I can't really describe why, but there was something about the history, the culture, the art… I couldn't seem to get enough of it. Of course, after spending so much time traveling, I ended up needing to get a job," she laughed. "So, I started working at a café as a _camarera_."

His quizzical look made her pause. "A waitress," she said with a smile. "It was next to my hostel, and when I saw they were hiring, I walked in and applied. The owner looked at me like I was insane, but I guess he figured that someone who had spent at least an hour or two there every day for two weeks must really enjoy it. He hired me on the spot."

As she went on and on about her adventures, Edward couldn't help but notice the way her eyes sparkled as she talked. She was as animated as she always had been, but seeing her talk about all the sights and sounds, the tastes and smells, he couldn't help but feel invigorated. Being around her was absolutely intoxicating, and he could have listened to her talk for hours.

"So, what happened after your year was up? Did you come back here right away?"

"Yeah. While I loved my time there, a year away from all my friends and family got pretty lonely. I mean, I made friends there, acquaintances and such, but it wasn't like I had Rose or anyone there to confide in. When I started planning my trip home, Rose agreed to let me move in with her until I got settled. I got a job at the bank, and well, the rest is history."

Edward knew there was more to the story, but he didn't feel like pushing. He was just grateful she was sitting there, having a beer, and telling him a little about what had happened in her life after they'd broken up. He certainly hadn't presumed she would wither away in despair, but he had the rodeo to keep his mind occupied. She hadn't had anything remotely like that. Although, it seemed clear that her trip had definitely filled a void.

Bella looked over at him. She took a drink of her now warm beer and wondered what he was thinking. The air between them was comfortable yet distant. She certainly hadn't revealed anything too detailed about her life. In fact, most of the things she had shared were rather impersonal. She had no plans to tell him about Riley – her marriage or his death – and she wasn't even sure how much she wanted to know about his life. She wasn't sure she could handle all the details.

She watched as he picked at the label of his bottle, a nervous habit he'd always had. She was still taken aback by how gorgeous he was, even after all this time. She admired the way his lips, always so soft and warm on hers, were pressed together as he sat quietly watching her. She let her eyes flicker down to the solid definition of his jaw line, a hint of scruff starting to appear, and felt her face flush. How many times had she nibbled and licked him there or traced her nose along the chiseled edge in her quest to get to his lips?

Her eyes flicked up to his, and she saw him watching her intently. Her cheeks burned hotter and were no doubt bright red. She could tell by the smirk on his face he knew what she was thinking, and she quickly shifted the awkward silence back to him. She had no desire to dwell on his jaw or ultra-kissable lips any longer, and she definitely didn't want him probing into her life anymore.

"What about you? What has Edward Masen, World Champion Bare Bronc Rider, been up to?"

Edward couldn't help but laugh. Of course, she would think that about him, especially given how he'd left her that day. He slid his hand through his hair and breathed out a sort of frustrated-embarrassed sigh. He had no idea how to talk about the one thing that had driven a wedge between them, and he really didn't want to ruin the moment they were having here. It was comfortable and open, and he didn't want to lose that feeling.

"Well, Bella, world traveler extraordinaire," he said with a hint of sarcasm, "I spent most of my time on the circuit, competing in pretty much every rodeo I could find."

Bella nodded. She knew that would likely be his response. That was the reason he had left in the first place. Part of her wanted to hold a grudge, but she knew she had gotten over it long ago. Riley had helped fill the gaping hole he had left in her heart, and there was no reason to dig up past hurts. She hoped, like she had then, that he had found exactly what he had been searching for when he said he had to take the chance, had to find out what could be.

"Seriously, how was it? Was it what you hoped it would be?"

He thought for a second. Was it what he had hoped it would be? He knew it was at the time, but there had always been something missing. He had always been chasing after something, unsure what it was, hoping he'd find it somewhere along the line.

He cocked his head to the side and smiled. "It was a lot of fun, especially at first. Once I went pro, right after college, I spent the next year or so trying to find my groove. The rodeos at the college level were like peanuts compared to the stuff at the pro level. All the riders were leaps and bounds better than some of the best riders I had faced up until that point. I got frustrated easily, which I'm sure you aren't surprised about," he said with a knowing smile.

Bella laughed. "No, you always were a perfectionist."

"At any rate, I eventually found Jasper, my coach, and he whipped my ass into shape. He taught me so many things, helped me analyze tapes of my rides, and slowly, I found my way. I learned to adapt better to life on the road, found ways to block out all the noise from the crowds, and figured out how to read and anticipate the horse's moves.

"It was a long process, but after two or three years, I finally made it to the top. I won the World Championship for bare back at the NFR, and then repeated the following year."

"That's amazing, Edward," Bella said excitedly. "I can only imagine how gorgeous those buckles were and how amazing it must have felt to finally get what you wanted after all those years of practice and competitions." She knew her voice probably sounded forced. As much as she tried, she couldn't suppress the hint of bitterness that had crept back inside her heart, even though she was happy he'd been successful.

Edward forced a smile, hearing the painful edge in her voice. Yes, it was amazing that he had accomplished all of that, but it had all been temporary. He knew that better than anyone, especially after the accident. He didn't want to get into it with her. He didn't want to explain why he quit, what life was like the year after, how dark things had been and how he had pretty much given up. No, he definitely didn't want to go there with her tonight, especially when things were comfortable between them.

"Yeah, it was," he said with extra excitement. "And you're right. The buckles were everything I had hoped they would be. It was surreal standing there, in front of millions of people, knowing I was the World Champion. It really doesn't get better than that, does it?"

They both smiled and then looked away. His moment of glory had come at her expense, and they both knew it. Yet, neither of them were ready to acknowledge the old wounds. It was all in the past, and rehashing it wouldn't change anything. As Bella looked out the window, Edward watched her intently, wondering what she was thinking. After a long while, Bella looked at her watch and groaned.

_6:23._

It was going to be close to ten o'clock by the time she got home, and she already felt exhausted. Spending time with Edward had worn her out, and she was looking forward to a reprieve from the tension.

"I should get going. It's already late, and it's going to be a long drive home."

Edward nodded reluctantly, knowing she was right. She still had a good three hours to go, and it wasn't fair to keep her there any longer.

They walked to the door and Edward waited as Bella gathered her bags. Once outside, they stood, awkwardly, staring at each other on the front porch. Bella shivered at the chill in the air, and Edward shoved one hand into his pocket and the other in his hair. Neither of them made eye contact, knowing once they did, their time together would end. After what felt like an eternity, Edward pulled his hand out of his pocket and without warning pulled her into a hug. He rubbed his hands up and down her back, loving the feel of her body pressed perfectly against his and the smell of her hair – flowers and something sweet he didn't recognize. If he had any doubt about how much he had missed her, this moment confirmed it for him. There was no denying what he felt for her, what he'd always felt for her but had been too selfish to really see it, and now it was too late.

All the feelings he had kept to himself – all the lonely moments on the circuit, the handful of blonde-haired girls he'd been with, the long, empty nights spent in his hotel room nursing a beer with an ice pack strapped to his aching body – came crashing down on him as he breathed her in. He wanted to ask her to stay, to give him a chance to make it right, to tell her he'd made a mistake, but he knew he'd missed his chance. She wasn't available for the taking, and she never would be.

With a heavy heart, he pressed his lips against her cheek, lingering a little longer than appropriate, but unable to tear himself away. The moment his lips touched her cheek, everything but her fell away. It was like he could hear her heart slamming around inside her chest, feel the heat rise up and color her cheeks, and for a second, it felt like he was back on the tour, on top of a bucking bronc and clinging to the leather strap as if his life depended on it. Of course, the brush of his lips on her soft, smooth skin was barely a second, pulling back like they'd both been burned as they realized what he'd just done.

He could see the panic in her eyes as they glistened with unshed tears. The broken and confused expression on her face pierced his soul; it was the same look she had given him the day he told her he wasn't going to the dance with her. He knew he had messed up – then and now. He should never have kissed her, as innocent as it might have been. She thought he was married, and he knew she was. What the hell was he thinking? That was it; he hadn't been thinking clearly because she was so damn intoxicating, and he was too foolhardy and weak to control himself.

"Bella, I'm-"

"I have to go. Night," she said in a blur as she backed away from him.

He felt sick, his stomach sinking with every backward step she took. He was about to let her go all over again, and his heart clenched in sadness and guilt. What was he doing to her? He knew she was out of his reach, yet he stood there, desperately wanting to pull her back to him, bury his face in her soft brown hair, and beg her to forgive him. He knew if he had the chance, he would spend the rest of his life worshiping the ground she walked on, trying to make it up to her.

Feeling slightly dazed at the feel of being in Edward's strong arms and the feel of his lips and breath against her cheek, Bella took a quick second to try and collect herself as she, too, stepped back from the hug. She was so confused. None of this made sense. Why was he kissing her, even if just on the cheek, if he was married? What was she doing there? Why had she agreed to stay there, against her better judgment?

When she looked up at him, her world crumpled all around her again. It was like she was back in her apartment, begging him to come with her to the dance like he'd promised. She couldn't do it again; she couldn't allow him to control her world the way he had all those years ago. They – she – needed to let all this go, yet she couldn't deny the way their bodies gravitated towards each other. It had always been like that, and Bella knew she needed to get out of there before something happened that neither of them could take back.

With sad eyes, Bella whispered goodnight and briskly walked to her car.

As Bella situated herself in the car, every nerve ending in her body was vibrating with the phantom pain of his touch. She closed her eyes, leaned her head against the steering wheel, and tried to catch her breath. Her heart was pounding, almost thundering in her ears, and she knew she wouldn't be able to go anywhere until she calmed down. She had no idea how much his touch would affect her, and she wasn't prepared for the onslaught of emotions she had felt when his arms wrapped around her, the way his body felt pressed against hers, or the way his earthy scent had triggered so many memories. As she sat in the car, she knew he was watching her, but she couldn't bring herself to care. It didn't matter that in that one hug or the quick kiss he'd pressed against her cheek, he had cracked open the part of her heart she thought had healed with Riley.

With trembling hands and a very confused head, she jammed the key into the ignition. She heard the click-click sound of a dead battery and groaned in frustration. Unwilling to give up, she tried again and again until she thought her head or the battery might explode.

_How could this be happening to her… right now? _

With one last try, she ripped the keys out of the ignition and slammed her head back against the headrest, smacking the steering wheel with her hands in anger. The idea of facing him was too much for her already pounding heart. What would he think? Would he think she wanted to get back together with him, to break up his marriage? _Did_ she want to get back together with him?

She shoved that thought aside and pushed the door open violently, cursing her piece of junk Volvo and vowing to get a new car as soon as she got back home to Green River. Edward stared at her in surprise and started walking over to her car.

"My car won't start."

~*SD*~

I'm so glad most of you loved Bella and Riley. When I set out to write this, I wanted their relationship to be a real one, with real, full love, not one that just attempted to fill the Edward void. These two were great together. Thank you all so much for the love and reviews and tweets about SD. The response has completely blown me away! Thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

Seeing Daylight

**~*Chapter 5*~**

"Do you want me to take a look at it?" he asked quietly, keeping some distance between them.

With that simple question, a little part of her melted. There was something about having someone offer to do something for her that she'd missed since Riley died. She was used to being independent. She'd had no choice, and as she took in the way his eyes creased in the corners and the way his tongue came out to lick his lips nervously, her tears started to fall.

"Hey, Bella, please don't cry. We'll get it fixed," he said soothingly, gently touching her back before removing his hand. He didn't want a repeat of the scene they'd had earlier, and if he could help her get the car running, perhaps some of their tension would dissipate.

He walked over and lifted the hood, taking a minute to figure out how to unlatch it. When he finally did, he stared down into the dark engine cavity, looking for some clue as to what was wrong. He brushed his fingers across a couple of cables, pulled out some dipsticks, and was just about to unscrew the lid on one of the fluid containers when Bella walked up.

"Do you even know what you're doing?" she asked skeptically.

He laughed nervously. "Um, no. I actually have no clue."

She looked at him and shook her head. There was nothing to do but laugh at how absurd the moment was. Here she was, standing in front of her ex-boyfriend-now-bank-customer's house with a broken down car while still reeling from the feel of his lips on her cheek.

"I'm pretty sure it's the battery. Can you bring your car over here so I can jump it?"

Edward groaned and felt like an idiot. Of course, it was the battery. Quickly, he ran into the house, grabbed his keys, and pulled his truck up next to hers. While he was gone, she had grabbed her cables out of the trunk and was ready to attach them.

He grabbed the set for his car, and she quirked her eyebrow in question, challenging him on his ability to actually jump a car properly.

"Bella, I'm not a complete moron. I know how to attach jumper cables, okay?"

She laughed, the strain between them melting just slightly. They made quick work of setting it all up and then waited, standing awkwardly in front of the cars, for it to charge. But as Bella tried to start her car, the engine wouldn't turn over.

"What the hell?" she growled in frustration, slapping the steering wheel again.

"Well, we can call a tow truck and see if they can take it to a local shop, but I'm not sure they'll be able to do much until tomorrow morning."

She sat in the driver's seat, defeated. What was she supposed to do now? How was she going to get home tonight?

"Hey," he said, squatting down next to her in between the door and the car seat, "I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I shouldn't have let things get that far. I crossed the line, and I can't imagine the position I put you in or how your husband might feel-"

She stared at him, slack-jawed, eyes wide in surprise. "What are you talking about? I'm not married, Edward."

"But… your ring… on your finger…" he said, pointing at her hand.

Bella looked down slowly and realization dawned. Of course, he would think she was married. It hadn't come up, and if he looked at her hand, it would certainly appear that was the case.

"My husband, Riley, died two years ago. I just haven't had a reason to take it off…"

Now it was Edward's turn to stare at her in surprise. She wasn't married. She. Wasn't. Married. Relief washed over him, and all the guilt and shame he felt for pushing her, for kissing her earlier, melted away instantly. Without a second thought, all the desire he had been holding at bay welled up inside him and he leaned forward and kissed her.

Completely caught off guard, Bella couldn't help but respond as his lips pressed against hers, needy and demanding. His mouth was hot and as their lips moved in tandem, her hands found their way to his hair. All the longing and frustration of the day crumbled as she sucked his bottom lip into her mouth. Edward groaned and pressed his tongue against hers, tasting the bittersweet remnants of her beer and wanting more. As her tongue slid into his mouth, tangling with his, Edward's hand reached up to cup her cheek, making the moment sweeter than it had previously seemed. Their kisses slowed and with one final brush of his lips, he sat back and looked at her.

He had no idea what to expect or how she would react, but he knew he didn't regret what they'd just done. Kissing her was like coming home. It was like eating a stack of Oreos dipped in milk after a hard, yet satisfying ride on the back of one of his horses.

Edward watched as she licked her swollen lips, and he clenched his fists tightly to prevent himself from reaching out and touching her again. Her face was flushed, and her eyes were a deep, rich brown. She was utterly breathtaking, and he wanted to carry her into his house and spend hours relearning every part of her. But he could see the hesitation, the confusion still written on her face, and he kicked himself for adding fuel to that fire.

Bella sat back in the driver's seat and tried to process what had just happened. Kissing Edward was… exactly like she remembered. His lips were warm and soft but different, foreign from what she was used to. She hadn't kissed anyone in a long time, and his lips, as amazing as they were, were not Riley's. She felt guilt wash over her as his handsome face registered. What would he think about her right now? Would he be happy? Would he be disappointed, feel betrayed? She closed her eyes and tried to breathe.

And what about Edward? What in the hell would possess him to kiss her like that? What about his wife and daughter? Where were they? She blinked open her eyes and stared at him. Her first instinct was shame – for kissing a married man and for wanting to do it again – but before she let it take hold, she decided to ask him.

"Edward, what about your wife and daughter?" she asked quizzically, cocking her head just slightly in question.

He looked down at his lap and had the decency to look a little embarrassed. "Yeah, about that… I, uh, I just said that because… it's stupid."

"Just tell me."

"I said it because I was caught off guard by how distant and professional you were when you showed up on my doorstep. It just… it was weird, and I didn't know how to react. I'm sorry."

"So, you're not married and you don't have a little girl?" she asked incredulously, feeling the hint of anger just under the surface.

He shook his head, still looking sheepish, and said no. "It's just me, Bella."

Bella took in that little bit of information and wasn't sure what she felt. She knew she was getting cold, and they still hadn't come up with a plan for how to deal with her car.

"What should we do about this car?"

"Well, I guess you have a couple options. You could call a tow truck and have them pick up your car. You could stay here tonight and see what they say tomorrow or I could drive you back to Green River tonight."

Edward secretly prayed she'd stay there, but he knew better than to push her. He had already crossed so many lines, and he didn't want to do more to confuse the already complicated situation they were in.

Bella weighed her options before asking, "Are you sure you wouldn't mind me staying here? I could get a hotel. It doesn't make sense for you to drive me back to Green River tonight. It's over three hours away, and you'd have to drive back."

"Bella, we lived together for most of our college years. I think we can manage one night, and I promise to keep my hands to myself."

She nodded, slightly disappointed, but she couldn't even say why. There was no way she was having sex or doing anything close to that with him tonight or anytime soon. She hadn't even kissed anyone since Riley, let alone had sex. It was definitely not the time. Plus, they had a lot of ground to cover and a lot of things to discuss.

"Okay, if you're sure," she questioned, wanting to make sure.

"I'm sure."

~*SD*~

The next morning, Bella woke to the sound of roosters crowing in the distance and hints of sunlight streaming through her bedroom window. She stretched, locking her knees and pointing her toes as she worked all the night's kinks out of her system. A glance at the clock revealed the early hour, but when she tried to close her eyes and go back to sleep, she couldn't. Thoughts from the previous evening flitted easily through her mind, and the awkwardness she had been dreading when Edward told her she could stay had been fleeting.

"I'm really sorry about your car, Bella. If you want to settle in, the guest bedroom is just down the hall on the right. Make yourself at home and I'll get dinner started. We can call a tow truck first thing in the morning. I'm sure they'll have it fixed up in no time, and you can get on the road tomorrow afternoon," Edward said with a sure smile on his face.

Bella looked in the direction he'd pointed out and nodded. There was no doubt the situation was beyond awkward. She knew Rose was going to die when she found out what had happened and the hell she'd get for actually sleeping at Edward's… yeah, it was just great.

She walked down the hall and easily found the bedroom Edward had mentioned. As she pushed open the door, she stood in awe of the simplicity and warmth of the room. The walls were painted soft beige and a fire was burning in the rugged stone fireplace at the foot of the bed. All the lights were blazing, and Bella realized Edward must have come in to make it "visitor-worthy" while she was gathering her things from the car. The large sleigh bed in the center of the room was covered in a cream and gold duvet and piled high with brown, gold, and cream pillows; an extra thick fleece blanket was neatly draped over the footboard.

The room was definitely decorated by a woman, Bella thought as she set her stuff next to the hearth. She glanced out the large window and smiled. The view of the pasture and mountains was utterly breathtaking. She could make out the remaining trails of pink and orange as the sun sank behind the mountaintops and couldn't stop herself from wondering what it would be like to wake up to this every morning.

"Bella?" Edward called down the hall.

"Yes?" She turned, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes, though tired, were bright and full of life. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt like that, let alone looked it.

Edward brushed his knuckles against the door and walked into the room. Seeing her standing there, blushing and beautiful, was like a blast from the past. All he could think about as he tried to remember why he'd gone back there was how amazing she would look laying on the bed, her brown hair spread out in waves against the gold comforter twisted beneath her, as he took his time reacquainting himself with her body. He swallowed tightly, willing his body not to respond; he didn't want to do anything to give her the impression he was going to try anything. She was already nervous around him, and he really wanted to set her mind at ease. They had a long way to go, despite what his head and body wanted, before anything like that could happen… if it even did.

"Hi," she sort of whispered, feeling suddenly shy.

"Um, I was wondering if chili was okay?" he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking slightly on the balls of his feet.

"That sounds great." Her hand instinctively went to her stomach as she realized she hadn't eaten since early afternoon and was starving. "Want some help?"

"Sure," he said and turned toward the kitchen.

They worked side by side in the kitchen, both quiet and lost in their thoughts. Dinner passed in much the same way. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, but they were both trying to make sense of what was happening between them, how they'd gotten back to this point, and what it might mean going forward.

Eventually, Edward broke the quiet and asked her the question that had been on his mind much of the evening.

"So, you were married?"

Bella blinked up at him, surprised and unsure whether she wanted to discuss Riley with him. It felt strange having these two spheres of her life merge in a way she had never expected, but the look on Edward's face told her he was sincerely interested.

"Yes… for five years." Bella toyed with the napkin in her lap before pressing on.

"Riley was a vice president at the bank, and we actually met while I was filling in for my boss at one of the Assessment Division's quarterly review meetings. I always hated going to them. They were boring and rarely gave me anything useful or relevant for my job, but my boss asked me to present our team's results because he was going to be out of town. When I got up to the podium in the large conference room, all my notes and information were missing."

_~*Eight Years Earlier*~_

_Panic started to well up inside her. _

Where the hell were her notes? How was she going to do this presentation without them?_ she frantically wondered as she rifled through a stack of papers on the shelf inside the podium. _

Okay, you can do this Bella. You don't need the notes_, she gave herself a pep talk, reminding herself she didn't need the notes, that she knew the information inside and out, that she could do this. _

_She took a deep breath, slowly looked up, and scanned the room. Several people looked bored already, and she couldn't blame them. She was bored with her own material. The chairman was watching her expectantly and, trying to push down her frayed nerves, she swallowed and cleared her throat._

"_Good morning. My name is Bella Swan, and I'm here on behalf of Tanya Denali to present the Assessment Division's quarterly results."_

_She paused, noticing a blonde haired man smiling kindly at her. Feeling a strange boost of confidence, she pressed on, talking through each slide, explaining variances and answering questions she knew they'd have. She tried to look at others in the room, but her eyes were always drawn back to him. It was hard to tell what color his eyes were in the dim lighting, but she guessed they were probably blue or green given his coloring. _

_On and on she went talking animatedly, pausing only to respond to an inquiry someone made about the volume of assessments they'd completed that quarter. _

_When she finished, she felt exhilarated. Adrenaline was coursing through her, and her heart was pounding, the consequence of speaking in public, which she didn't like to do, and not having her notes. But somehow she'd managed; in fact, she'd managed quite well. _

"_What questions do you have?" she asked finally, wanting to make sure she gave everyone a final opportunity to get the data and information they needed. _

_The room was quiet. A few seconds later, she thanked everyone and took her seat. As she sank against the soft cushion on the back of her chair, she couldn't help but look at the blonde haired man. _

He was looking at her_, she thought, her heart zipping into action again. _

_He smiled and mouthed, "Nice job."_

_Bella smiled back and said, "Thank you."_

_Turning their attention back to the next speaker, Bella wondered who he was. There was something about the way he had smiled at her and stayed completely connected to her during her presentation that made her smile and feel a sort of warm fuzziness. _

_The next few speakers passed in a blur. Bella's mind was in overdrive, thinking about his smile, his eyes, the way he had watched her every move and hung on her every word. She'd never seen anyone watch her that intently. In some ways, she thought she should be weirded out, but she wasn't. _

_After the meeting was over, she gathered her things and was on her way out the door when he stopped her._

"_Bella?"_

"_Yes," she said with a smile._

"_I'm Riley Biers." He smiled at her, that same heart-warming smile he'd given her when she first started her presentation, and extended his hand._

_She took it. It was warm and soft, much like she expected but different all the same. Up close, she had the chance to study him. He was ruggedly handsome with short, messy blonde hair, and a jaw that was sexy beyond belief. She was pleasantly surprised to find that his eyes were actually brown, not the blue or green she'd assumed earlier. _

"_Bella Swan," she said and then laughed. "But I guess you know that already."_

"_Well, it was good to meet you, Bella. I hope I see you around," he said shyly, almost hopefully._

_A smile lit up her face and that same nervous pitter pattering of her heart started. "Me, too."_

"It took him another two months to finally work up the courage to ask me out," she said with a laugh.

Still lost in her memories, she thought about their first date. It was casual, dinner and mini-golf, and Bella loved the normalcy of it. There were no rodeos or horses or buckle bunnies hounding them the entire time. It was exactly what she needed. Over dinner, they had talked about everything under the sun. Their conversation was easy, and Bella knew before the night was over that he was going to change her life forever. She loved that he laughed at her stupid jokes and talked to her about things that were important to both of them. He was exactly what she needed but never knew she wanted.

After Edward had walked away, Bella spent a long time trying to overcome the inadequacy she felt. A part of her couldn't quite get over the feeling that if she hadn't been enough for Edward – someone she had loved with every fiber of her being and given her heart and soul to – then how could she be enough for someone like Riley. It hadn't taken Riley long to figure out something was wrong when Bella pulled away, and after enough pushing, she finally broke down and told him how she was feeling and about Edward. As he pulled her into his arms, he vowed to do whatever it took to make her realize she was the most amazing, treasured person in his life.

"Riley was exactly what I needed. He made me laugh and always made me feel like I was the center of his world. We spent five years traveling, exploring, and just having fun together. When he was killed in a car accident, my whole world shattered," Bella said, telling Edward their story, editing out the parts that were too emotional to talk about or how Riley had made sure she knew he wasn't Edward and would never leave her.

Edward couldn't help the pang of guilt he felt as he listened to Bella talk about her husband. Of course she would have gotten married. There was no doubt she was an amazing woman – gorgeous, intelligent, and so damn funny – and any guy would have been lucky to have her. Apparently, this Riley guy was the lucky one… and as much as his selfishness disgusted him, he couldn't help but feel a sense of relief that he might actually have a chance to show her just how amazing he thought she was, too.

"It sounds like you had a really great marriage, Bella. I'm sorry for your loss." Even as the words came out of his mouth, they felt cheap and inadequate, but he had no idea what else to say.

"He was great, and we did have a great marriage. I miss him, but I know he would want me to find my way in the world… and…" she paused again and smiled a small shy smile. "That's what I'm trying to do."

Bella breathed a contented sigh before glancing at the clock on the wall. She was surprised to see it was after eleven, and she decided it was probably time to get some sleep. She wanted to be up early, so she could call the towing company. Plus, the conversation about Riley had left her feeling torn and a little confused. She needed the privacy of that cozy bedroom to help her get her head on straight.

"I think I'm going to go to bed, if that's okay," she said, standing up and carrying her dishes to the kitchen.

Edward followed with his own dishes, watching the way she moved around his kitchen, already seeming at ease and comfortable.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

After quickly washing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen, they stood in the hall, both waiting for the other person to say something or to be the first to walk away. Neither moved, and Edward could feel his fingers itching to touch her, to pull her into his arms and tell her how much he had missed her on the circuit. He wanted to beg her for another chance, but he knew he couldn't, not after Bella had told him about Riley. He knew it would take time and a lot of work to win her back, something he wasn't even certain he could do.

His eyes drifted across her face, drinking in every detail - the way her hair, still up in a ponytail, was coming loose and little tendrils were framing her face, the way her warm, brown eyes seemed to soften into molten chocolate in the warmth of the low light, and the way her lips, full and pink, begged him to kiss her – and he vowed he'd do whatever it took to make her see how he had changed.

"Good night," he said, leaning forward almost imperceptibly before taking a step back and walking to his own room.

Bella felt her skin prickle and butterflies form in her stomach as she recalled the way he had looked at her. She knew he had wanted to kiss her… again, but she was glad he hadn't. She was already feeling emotional about everything. She was torn between her feelings for Riley, the man she had given her heart to, and for Edward, her first everything.

Shoving the covers back, she climbed out of bed and quickly trudged to the bathroom. She turned on the shower and climbed in, loving the way the water poured over her, rejuvenating her. After a quick towel dry, she reached for her purse and was glad she always carried a bag full of travel-sized toiletries.

Feeling human again, she opened the door and made her way down the hall. The house was quiet, and there was no sign of Edward. She pulled out her computer and quickly looked up a local towing company and mechanic; she needed to get this car situation taken care of and then get on the road.

An hour, two cups of coffee, and a bowl of cereal later, there was still no sign of Edward. After a quick pass by his room, she saw it was empty and quickly made the assumption he was out taking care of things on the ranch. She roamed around the living room and really looked at the pictures on the mantle and walls. They were all of his family and a couple with a little girl she didn't recognize. She wondered who they were.

She was just about to pull a book off the shelf when the front door opened. Edward walked in and her jaw dropped. She watched him from the corner of the room, knowing he hadn't seen her. He was wearing a pair of dusty old boots, dirty work jeans, tattered from the wear and tear of ranch life, and a heavy-looking navy corduroy jacket. As he took off his jacket and hat, his long fingers brushed through his brown and copper hair in an attempt to smooth it down. It didn't work, and Bella couldn't help the sigh that escaped as she remembered what those fingers were capable of and how well they used to know her body. She shivered, and the movement caught his eye.

A look of surprise appeared before a warm, broad smile crossed his face.

"Morning," he said as he slowly walked toward her.

Bella could feel her body tense as his boots echoed on the hard wood floor. Her eyes wandered down his body, mesmerized by the way his jeans clung tightly to his muscular thighs and the way his shirt, like yesterday, accented his broad shoulders and well defined arms. She licked her lips as he stopped in front of hers and forced her eyes to meet his. He smirked knowingly, and Bella could feel the heat rise in her cheeks and face.

"Hey," she said weakly, still slightly dumbstruck by how good he looked.

"Enjoying the view?" he asked, his hand mercifully pointing to the large picture window next to her, despite the very clear meaning behind his words.

She didn't want to take her eyes off him but turned to look outside as she muttered dumbly, "Uh huh."

The change in scenery snapped her out of her Edward-induced haze, and she silently groaned at her own behavior. Grasping for something to take her mind off him, she casually offered, "I called the tow truck. They should be here anytime. Is it okay if I stay here until I hear back from them? I can just work on my laptop or something."

He stepped behind her, the heat from his body instantly warming her, and placed his hands on her shoulders. She immediately felt her skin tingle with recognition and longing, and when he leaned down, his breath hot against her ear, and whispered, "I want you to stay," she thought her heart my stop.

She barely managed to blurt out her acknowledgement before turning to face him again.

"You want some coffee?" he asked, his voice gravelly and deeper than usual.

She looked up at him, her body still so close to his she could smell his aftershave and remnants of hay and the outdoors.

"That would be great," she smiled.

Together they walked, hands by their sides, to the kitchen. They didn't touch, but the air between them was thick. It was like the feeling in the air when a thunderstorm was near, electric and alive.

The roar of an engine and the subsequent sound of a horn honking was like a breath of fresh air. With one last glance, Bella walked out to meet the driver. After a few minutes of conversation, he tried to jump the battery but couldn't get it to charge. Frustrated and annoyed, Bella grabbed a mug of coffee and waited while the driver hooked up the car. She couldn't believe how things had turned out the day before and was nervous about what the day would hold. She didn't want to get in Edward's way, but she wanted to spend more time with him. There were still so many questions that needed to be answered, but she wasn't sure she was ready to hear what he had to say.

The remainder of the morning passed quickly as Bella waited for a call from the mechanic. She had set up shop in Edward's dining room. Edward had gone out to take care of the other chores and to meet his friend, Jasper, for a quick chat about the assessment. Fully embroiled in the land of spreadsheets and property dimensions, Bella's phone rang.

She quickly answered it, only be disappointed.

"Ms. Biers?"

"This is she."

"This is Stephen from Harry's Body Shop. I wanted to give you an update on your car. When we ran the diagnostic test, we found that the battery was completely dead and the alternator needs to be replaced. As we were checking other areas, we also noticed that the spark plug wires were pretty worn, almost like something's been chewing on them."

"Chewing on them?" Bella asked, confused.

"Yeah, sometimes mice or other rodents will get in there and nest, so to speak. They chew right through them. So, anyway, they need to be replaced. Do you know when your plugs were last changed?"

"Uh, I'm not really sure. It's been a while." Bella hated car repairs. It was the one area she was completely clueless about, and it irritated her immensely to feel like some damsel in distress.

"Typically, it makes sense to change them out when we're making these kinds of repairs. We can do all of that, but it's not going to be ready until Monday. We have to order the alternator from the dealership. Unfortunately, Volvos require very specific parts, and we just don't have them in stock," he said apologetically.

Bella groaned. "Monday? And there's no way it'll run without all of that?"

"Well, ma'am, we could just replace the alternator and battery, but it still won't be ready until Monday. Probably Monday afternoon."

With a heavy sigh, Bella finally said okay. "How much will all this be?" She wasn't really concerned about the cost, but as the wife of a former banker, she liked to be prepared.

"Parts and labor are going to run you about $540."

"What?" Bella gasped in surprise. She could not imagine what could possibly make what seemed like a simple repair so expensive.

"Unfortunately, all the parts have to be made for Volvo and are more expensive than their more generic counterparts. Plus, the work is time intensive, and that drives up the labor price. I promise, ma'am, we'll do whatever we can to get the work done quickly. If it takes less time, the price will be lower."

"Thanks," Bella mumbled. "Okay, well, I guess I'll hear back from you on Monday?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Alright, thank you again for calling. Have a good day."

"You, too, ma'am."

Bella hung up the phone and groaned in frustration. Now what was she going to do? She couldn't ask Edward to let her stay here another two nights. She was sure he had things to do, and he definitely didn't need to have her underfoot.

Needing some fresh air, Bella closed her laptop quickly and with a little more force than was necessary before walking out the front door.


	6. Chapter 6

Seeing Daylight

**~*Chapter 6*~**

Edward stood in front of one of his newest horses, a tall chestnut quarter horse that stood majestically before him. His hand brushed her broad, full forehead, and she whinnied softly. With one last nuzzle, he grabbed the curry and started stroking her firmly.

His mind drifted to the woman sitting in his dining room; he couldn't believe she was still there. He had tossed and turned most of the night, thinking about her and what it felt like to have her in his arms again… even if only briefly. He was awake most of the night, replaying that kiss over and over again, almost like a lovesick puppy. After tossing and turning for hours, the sleep he achieved was fitful.

Morning came early, and with a grunt, he begrudgingly dragged himself out of bed. He had set about his morning chores, working quickly so he could get back inside before Bella woke up. He had hoped to make her breakfast but was surprised to see her standing in his living room, watching him intently as he shrugged out of his coat and hat. As arrogant as it may have seemed, he knew he was a good looking guy, and seeing Bella looking at him longingly, mimicking the way he felt, almost pushed him over the edge. A thrill of triumph ran through him; she still wanted him. And yet, even he knew it was too premature to do anything about it. He knew she was too vulnerable and that what had happened between them couldn't be erased overnight. Time. That was what they needed.

When he finished currying the still unnamed horse, he grabbed the dandy brush and quickly finished grooming her. He was just starting to clean the horse's hooves when he heard footsteps coming his way.

"What's up, Jas?" Edward asked, not bothering to turn around. He grumbled quietly at the amount of manure and mud that was trapped in the hooves after being out in the fields for just a short while.

"Um, Edward?"

Edward stood up quickly and whirled around, startling the horse. She stamped and let out an exasperated breath to show her indignation. He quickly patted her haunch and calmed her down.

"Bella, hey."

"I hope I'm not interrupting, but I talked to the mechanic," she said, hesitating just slightly before continuing. "It looks like my car won't be ready until Monday afternoon."

"Monday?" Edward asked, surprised that getting a new battery would take so long.

"Yeah, apparently my car needed some work, and it decided the perfect time to force the issue was when I was three and a half hours away from home," she quipped sarcastically.

Edward chuckled. That definitely sucked... for her, but hopefully she would just agree to stay with him for the weekend. Of course, if she wanted him to drive her home, he would.

"So… what are you thinking?" he asked, hoping to feel her out a little bit before offering to let her continue staying in his guestroom.

"I guess I'm not really sure," she said, shifting awkwardly from side to side and toying with the ends of her ponytail. "It would be great to get home, but I would hate to ask you to drive me all that way just to turn around and come back. That's like seven hours in the car. And truthfully, even if you did, I'm not sure how I would get back here to pick it up."

He could see she was really trying to rationalize what to do, but Edward didn't want to let her get too far down the decision trail.

"Or you could just stay here. I obviously have room, and I don't really have plans for the weekend," he offered sincerely before quickly tacking on, "So, it really wouldn't be an inconvenience."

Bella looked surprised. "I couldn't do that to you, Edward. I mean, I've already taken up one of your evenings, and I would hate to be in the way…"

Edward met her eyes, and almost imploringly urged her to stay. "It really wouldn't be an inconvenience, Bella. I'd love the company. It gets pretty quiet around here."

He smiled and cocked his head to the side. "Come on, don't make me beg you to stay," he said teasingly.

She looked at him and grinned. He had always had been able to get her to do things, and this was clearly no exception.

"Okay, but only if you're sure."

"I'm sure," he said, glancing over at the clock on the wall. "Come on. Let's get some lunch."

~*SD*~

Later that evening, after a dinner of steak, baked potatoes, and salad, they sat on the couch eating an apple crisp Bella had made. They had spent much of the afternoon doing their own thing, and when they had been in the same room, the awkward, nervous tension that had been there earlier was gone. Neither of them felt compelled to talk, especially with two days ahead of them, and they both fell into some of their old patterns – Bella sprawled on the couch reading and Edward up and moving in a blur of productivity. It was comfortable and easy, a fact that neither of them was willing to acknowledge.

Edward looked over at her and watched her put her fork, laden with apples and crunchy topping, in her mouth. Her eyes closed, and she hummed in satisfaction. As she slowly pulled the fork out of her mouth, Edward felt his body stir. He tried to tear his eyes away from her, but he couldn't help but enjoy the way her lips wrapped around the shiny tines or the way her tongue flicked across her lips to remove the leftover crumbs. Seeing these simple, unconscious gestures made parts deep down inside him ache with longing. He had missed having someone around, someone with whom he felt comfortable being himself. Jasper and Alice had been great, some of the best friends he could have asked for, but there was something different about being here with Bella. She felt like home, like sunshine breaking through the clouds, refreshing and warm.

The clattering of the fork in her empty bowl pulled him out of his thoughts. Bella was watching him intently, trying to figure out what he had been thinking. He'd been quiet, quieter than usual, and she wondered what was on his mind.

"You okay?" she asked, tipping her head to the side, her eyes soft and warm in the evening shadows.

"Yeah, just thinking. Appreciating the company." He grinned at her, that heart-stopping smile that made her insides melt with familiarity and comfort and a hint of something more.

They sat there for a few minutes longer, the silence growing deafening. It was no longer the easy quiet they had both enjoyed throughout much of the evening. This was a quiet that begged to be broken, and in an attempt to do so, Edward stood up, grabbed both of their bowls, and walked into the kitchen.

Bella could hear him rinsing and loading them into the dishwasher, and she wondered if she should go help. At the last minute, she decided that maybe watching a movie would help dissipate some of the newly built tension.

She walked over to the bookcase and quickly scanned the titles, settling on _The_ _40 Year Old Virgin_. Bella had never seen the movie, but she'd heard it was really funny… and she was definitely in the mood to laugh. They both needed something to lighten the mood. Pulling the movie from the shelf, she walked over to the entertainment center and stared at the three remote controls sitting on the top shelf. She knew there was no way she would figure out how to work them and decided to see if Edward was even okay with watching a movie.

"You want to watch a movie, Edward?" Bella shouted toward the kitchen.

"Sure. Just pick one out," he called back. "Do you want anything to drink before we get started?"

"Whatever you're having is fine with me."

She turned back to face the television and pushed the power button. It came to life instantly, and as she squatted down in front of the DVD player, she realized it wasn't as complicated as it looked. She quickly loaded the disc and grabbed all three remotes before heading back to the couch.

Just as she was sitting down, Edward walked back in carrying two beers and a big bowl of popcorn.

"Hope Sam Adams is okay. I'm out of Heineken."

"It's great. Thanks." She looked at the bowl in his hands and laughed. "How could you possibly be hungry?"

"I can't watch a movie without popcorn. Never have. Never will. You should know that by now," he said, his face awash in seriousness before he cracked up.

She threw a pillow at him, hitting him in the leg, and continued to laugh as he sat down. "You are ridiculous."

He just grinned. After getting comfortable, he turned to face the screen and asked, "What are we watching?"

"The 40 Year Old Virgin."

Edward almost spat out his beer. Choking, he laughed. "Great."

They turned their attention to the television as the opening credits came on. Edward reached back and flipped off the light on the end table. The room was immediately bathed in an eerie blue light. Bella looked over at Edward, entranced by the way the shadows bounced across his face. As she took him in, she was reminded again how handsome he was. When they'd been dating, she had watched him a lot – on the back of a horse, while he was making dinner for them, and even while he was sleeping. He had one of the sexiest jaws she'd ever seen, and it was only more pronounced now that he had gotten older.

Trying to ignore the hint of stubble she knew was there, she swallowed, flicked her eyes back to the screen, and tried to pay attention. Eventually, she got sucked in and laughed along with him as Steve Carell was getting his chest hair ripped out. They looked at each other and exchanged a quick smile.

About halfway through the movie, Bella shivered. The room had cooled considerably, and the heat from the fire Edward had built earlier wasn't cutting it. She leaned over, trying to reach for the blanket on the back of the couch close to Edward when her hand landed in the bowl of popcorn. It spilled everywhere – on the floor, the couch, and Edward's lap – and without even thinking, Bella reached over and started grabbing handfuls of the buttery white popcorn, brushing Edward's thigh in the process.

Startled, he jerked away from her hand, spilling the remainder of the popcorn in the bowl onto the floor, just as she snatched it back. Her face instantly exploded in red heat.

"Oh, shit!" Bella exclaimed, scrambling up off the couch, embarrassed. "I'm sorry!"

"Holy shit!" Edward exclaimed out of shock at the same time.

Covered in butter and little bits of popcorn, they both stood there breathing hard and trying to overcome the shock and embarrassment of the moment when Edward burst out laughing. He laughed a deep rumbling belly laugh that had him doubled over and resting his hands on his knees. All he could think was how awkward things had been since she'd been there, and damn, what a way – Bella's hand practically groping his dick - to diffuse the tension.

Bella stood there, completely embarrassed that she had almost grabbed his junk. Part of her wanted the ground to swallow her up, but his laughter was contagious. She startled giggling hysterically, feeling the thickness of the moment dissipate in the best possible way.

After they'd both caught their breath, Edward stood up and looked at her. His face was the picture of seriousness. In his head, he saw how simple things could be and the way they always should have been. It was so damn frustrating to be on eggshells around the one person he'd always loved and wanted. He hated it, and a part of him wanted to be angry – was angry – that she'd pushed him away without really giving him a choice. And yet, he also couldn't deny that the choice was probably the right one at the time.

As he took in her glassy eyes, still wet from laughter, and the pink of her cheeks, he wanted nothing more than for things to just _be_ for a while.

Bella saw the wheels turning in his head, figuratively of course, but didn't say anything. She used the quiet reprieve to process how it felt to laugh with him. It was so easy to be there with him. At times, she found herself feeling so carefree and light – almost like it had been back when they'd been together. But even the ease of the moment couldn't replace the way he'd made her feel when he didn't choose her that day.

The betrayal, emptiness, and anger that had followed were still vivid and palpable in her memories. He had never seen what his departure had done to her, and she didn't have any intention of showing it to him after all these years. Regardless, it was there, fully present, like the undercurrent in the ocean, tugging and pulling, threatening to pull her under. She'd managed to swim to safety during her time in Europe and then with Riley, but being with Edward again, in some ways, was like treading rough choppy waters.

"This is so ridiculous, Bella. Why are we acting so weird around each other?"

She opened her mouth to say something but stopped as Edward stepped closer to her.

"Bella, just listen," he said as he held up his hands in a sort of calming gesture. "I know things are weird. I can't imagine how it must feel to be here, at my house, after all these years. But look," he said, running his hand roughly through his hair, "can we just get back to where we were? We used to be friends. I'm not asking you for more than that right now, especially after what happened between us."

His gaze was deep and penetrating, his grey-blue eyes burning into hers. She was awash in feelings, and as much as she wanted to be his friend, she wasn't sure how she would go about it, especially when what she felt for him was definitely more than friendship. It always had been.

He waited for her to respond, and when she didn't, he reached out his hand for hers, a silent peace offering, urging her to take it. She slowly raised her hand and laced her fingers with his. She knew all the feelings she'd kept dormant and buried were still alive the minute her hand was in his. She could feel the energy, the very same connection they used to have, buzzing and burning through her skin. He tugged her back toward the couch and wrapped the blue blanket she'd been reaching for around her shoulders as he sat down beside her. He didn't say anything more, but he took her silence and the way her hand had felt in his as her quiet acceptance of his proposal… at least for the night.

The movie continued, and in the dark, the tension in the room was palpable. Bella was sitting, or more aptly, leaning against Edward, and his arm was wrapped around her. They both knew this was more than what "friends" might do, but neither felt compelled to move or change positions. Edward, while being truthful when he had said he wasn't asking for more than friendship, knew he definitely wanted more. He wanted her, and his body made that abundantly clear as he breathed in the sweet flowery scent of her hair. Closing his eyes and relishing her warmth against his side, he just let himself feel and dream for the first time in a long time.

After the movie ended and the little bits of popcorn were cleaned up, they went their separate ways without saying much. Despite what they had both said earlier, the emotion swirling around was too intense to do or say more, and the walk to their respective rooms was almost like a rubber band being stretched. At some point, it had to come back together, and after five minutes in her room, Bella was faced with her own limit.

As she undressed, she realized she needed to do something about her clothing situation. She couldn't very well wear the same clothes three or four days in a row. It was disgusting, and no matter how many showers she took, it would still be like putting the dirt right back on. She looked at the pile of clothes on the floor and debated what to do. Looking over at the drawers, she said a silent prayer hoping there might be some old clothes in there she could wear, but as she pulled open the drawers, she found they were empty.

A sigh of frustration later, she had redressed and was walking down the hall to Edward's room. She shifted back and forth outside his door and berated herself for acting so ridiculous. They used to live together. Hell, they'd seen each other naked, had sex too many times to count, and yet, there she was outside his room, pacing around like some inexperienced school girl. Resolved to get this over with and get back to the safety of her own room, Bella knocked on the door.

~*SD*~

Edward walked down the hall to his room, peeking over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of her as she disappeared into her own room. Everything in him was tense and needy. His dick was hard, and his chest was tight. Feeling Bella against his side, so warm and soft, had done nothing to ease the pressure after the popcorn debacle. Of course, he was the one who had initiated the "cuddling," and he wasn't sorry in the least she'd been so close. He would have gladly suffered a case of blue balls for the chance to smell her sweet scent and to feel her next to him.

He walked into the bathroom and quickly shed his clothes, washed his face and brushed his teeth. He was just about to slip into bed and was about to take care of business when he heard the quiet knock on his door. He scrambled out of bed and quickly found a pair of sleep pants that did nothing to hide his semi and opened the door. He stood slightly to the side and behind it, trying to keep his lower half hidden. That was all he needed to further his case that all he wanted was to be "friends."

He ran his hand through his hair, suddenly nervous. "Bella?"

Bella's eyes were wide and hinted at her embarrassment, but she couldn't look away. Edward was half naked in front of her, his chest, firm and lightly muscled, was bronze in the low light of his room. She was completely taken by the sinewy muscles of his arms, the "V" of his abs, and the light smattering of hair that disappeared beneath the waist band of his pants. She forced her eyes back up to his face and noticed the smirk plastered there. She felt her face heat for what felt like the hundredth time that night. She shifted back a step and mumbled something he couldn't understand.

"What was that?" he asked, stepping out from behind the door. His body had mercifully cooperated with his head for a change. He waited for her to answer, but she remained silent, continuing to stare at him in a very appraising way.

"Bella…"

The low timbre of his voice pulled her back to the present.

"Yes?" she asked, staring into his slightly darkened grey eyes.

"Did you need something, or did you just come to check me out?"

Bella choked on a fake laugh and quickly requested a t-shirt and sleep pants.

"I need to wash my clothes and don't have anything to sleep in…" she said, trailing off as his hand rubbed unconsciously across his chest and down the smooth planes of his stomach. Her eyes were drawn to the ink on his left bicep. The horseshoe he'd had since college had been modified to include an intricately shaded five point star. She wanted to trace her fingers over the smooth grey and black shading, to feel the warm skin and hard ridges of his muscles beneath it.

She licked her lips and blinked, forcing herself to look away. That was an image that would definitely not be leaving her head anytime soon. Edward pushed off the door and turned toward the dresser.

Bella's jaw dropped slightly, and her mouth went dry as his naked back came into view. Her eyes traced over the fiery image of a bucking horse painted across his right shoulder blade. The black ink was intricate, tribal almost, and stood out vividly against his lightly tanned skin. That had definitely not been there when they'd been together. The image was very different in look and feel from the one on his bicep, and she naturally wondered what the significance of it was. Quickly taking in the rest of his back and the way his pajama pants sat low around his hips, she appreciatively watched the way his muscles easily shifted beneath his smooth, tanned skin as he moved. She tore her eyes away from his nearly naked form for the second time that evening just as he turned around, a pair of pajama pants and an old t-shirt in his hand.

She reached out and took them, refraining from pulling them to her nose – she knew they would smell like him, all warm spice and outdoors. With one last raking glance, she said thank you and turned around.

"It's been a long time since you've worn my pajamas…" he trailed off as she stopped, frozen in the middle of the hallway.

She turned, her face flaming pink, and smiled shyly. "Yes… it has. Good night, Edward," she said softly as she turned once again to walk to her room.

"Night, Bunny," he said just loud enough for her to hear. She stopped again but this time didn't turn around. He saw her shoulders stiffen as she moved uneasily down the remainder of the hall.

Edward watched her disappear before taking a step back and closing his door. He flopped back on the bed, his dick just as hard as it was before at the thought of her in his pajamas pants. Fully awake and feeling lonelier than usual, he thought about everything that had happened earlier. Having Bella spend time with him out there, telling her about the horses and then making dinner with her, felt just like a day they would have spent together in college. He couldn't even begin to count how many times she had helped him groom the horses and then came home all handsy and hungry for dinner and each other. Of course, back then there wouldn't have been a second thought to a make out session on the couch or wherever they felt like doing it. God, those were some of the best times of his life.

He thought about the gentle sway of her hips as she'd walked to her room and the way she'd paused when he'd called her by the one name for her he knew was only his. He wondered what was going through her mind now that she was alone, wearing his sleep pants and favorite t-shirt, the one from his college rodeo team that said Masen on the back.

He could picture her hovering above him on the couch, her hair hanging around them like a curtain, in nothing but one of his shirts and her panties. He closed his eyes, and if he tried hard enough, could even smell the subtle hints of her perfume, delicate and sweet like berries.

He felt himself getting hard at the thought, and as he pictured her hands roaming over his body, his own hand snaked into his pajama pants. With a firm grip, he closed his eyes and got lost in the sensation of _her_ hands unzipping and tugging off his jeans, her hot hands gliding, gripping him in long smooth motions.

With each imagined pass of her hands, his own grip tightened. Intense sensations began to form in his stomach and without hesitation he tugged off his pants, jerked open the drawer beside his bed, and squirted his hand with lube. The liquid smooth feeling reminded him of her mouth, her tongue, the way she swirled it around and sucked gently on the head. He increased his pace and felt his body tense, coiled tightly, ready for release. His stomach tightened, and now desperate, he fisted himself tightly, focusing on the head. Bella's tongue flicked and swirled, sucked and popped, and as her teeth grazed his, length she moaned, pushing him into an exploding bliss.

Catching his breath, Edward blinked and looked down at the mess covering his stomach. Bliss was replaced with emptiness, knowing it was all in his head. She wasn't his. He had closed the door to that long ago, and even if she agreed to be friends, he wasn't convinced it would ever be enough to open the door for more down the road.

Climbing out of bed once again, he cleaned himself up, and got back in bed, naked and exhausted.

~*SD*~

By the time Bella got to her room, her heart was pounding, and her body was tense. She closed the door, pressing her back against it; her head was whirling at warp speed. _Bunny_. No one had called her that in years and hearing it from his lips had caused her heart to clench unexpectedly. She sank to the floor and tried to stymie the plethora of thoughts and memories, but they were rushing in with such force she could hardly breathe. How could he take the horses and crowds and all the glory over her all those years ago and still have the gall to call her _Bunny_? How could he? It just didn't make any sense. The undercurrents of pain and anxiety she'd been fighting tugged and pulled her downward. Hearing that name, _his name for her_, was too much, and like water pouring through a broken dam, she could hear his laughter, see his smile, smell his rich, earthy scent. She longed to be wrapped up in his casual demeanor, his cocky attitude, and his tender heart. So many confusing feelings and emotions poured through the cracks in the walls she'd built around that part of her heart, and the more she thought about him, what they used to have, the more the lines fractured until at last, they burst.

Sobs burst forth, and even though she tried to stifle the flow, she couldn't. It was no use. Being there with him had opened up parts of her that she had long buried. She wasn't prepared for it, for him, for the tidal wave of emotions she'd felt growing and building the entire time she'd been there.

After what felt like hours, her tears slowed, and she wiped her face and climbed up off the floor.

Exhausted, she realized she wasn't ready to deal with this. No, she wouldn't do this again. She knew what it was to be happy when she had been with Riley. Edward had chosen the rodeo, not her, and she wasn't sure if she could ever fully trust him to put her first, even if their attempt at friendship went further.

Guilt reared its ugly head as she thought about Riley. What would he think about everything that had happened? Would he want whatever _this_ was for her? She had no idea. She wanted to believe he would question her, push her to be honest with herself, and hopefully, in the midst of all of that, she would find the answers she so desperately needed. The one thing she was certain of was that Riley would want her to be happy. That had always been his priority, and as she wrapped her arms tightly around herself, she felt the ache and loss of him so deeply it was almost like she'd just lost him.

Riley – her Riley – had filled her life with such immense joy and happiness once she'd opened her heart. She knew what it was to love. She knew what it was to _be_ loved, and everything inside her was clinging desperately to how he'd made her feel. He'd given her a sense of control and order and safety at a time when everything felt the complete opposite.

With everything spinning out of control, she needed him. She needed to hear the soft, cool timbre of his voice whispering reassurances in her ear. She wanted to feel his hands, always so tender, tight in her own. A fresh wave of tears fell down her face. They were tears of sadness, of longing, and of loneliness. They were tears for a man who had stitched her up and helped make her whole again.

When her tears had finally dried, she felt fatigue take hold. She wanted to sleep, to forget. With a deep breath and a newly steeled resolve to deal with everything later, she shed her clothes and pulled on his pants and shirt. She pushed away the new flood of memories that threatened to break through the very tentative, hardly repaired dam she'd just built as his very essence washed over her.

She climbed into bed and lay there a long time, battling the warring emotions that were tearing her up and the memories they shared, before she finally fell into a fitful and exhausting sleep.

~*SD*~

So, hints of citrus in this chapter, and his other tatt was revealed. Pics of both the horseshoe and the flaming horse are on my profile. This chapter puts us just past the half-way point. I've had several questions about the posting schedule. I will post a chapter every day until it's finished.

Thank you so much for all of your reviews. I am touched by how much you all have been thinking about or feeling for each of these characters. I'm sort of in love with them both and how this story unfolds. I hope you'll feel that way when it's finished. I've been terrible at replying to all the reviews, but I have more time this weekend. So, I'll be replying to them as best I can and will send a little teaser out just for fun! Much love to you all! xoxo


	7. Chapter 7

Seeing Daylight

**~*Chapter 7*~**

Bella awoke, stiff and still tired, with a dull throbbing sensation in her head. She groaned quietly as the light filtered in and knew a cup of coffee and something to eat would probably be in order. Plus, she still needed to put her clothes in the washer. She sat up and stared down at the plaid flannel pajama pants and the navy t-shirt Edward had given her the night before and felt a tremor of something akin to nervousness. Something had shifted between them – a conscious decision to be friends – but it went beyond that. The flood of emotions she'd already started dealing with were overwhelming and confusing. It was scary and almost too much to think about Edward and liking him again while also thinking about what Riley would want for her and how she felt about them both. Just thinking about it made her head ache a little more, and despite knowing she needed to sort it all out, she shifted it to the back burner to deal with later and shuffled out of bed.

The house was quiet, almost too quiet, and she shivered a little at the chill in the air. As she walked into kitchen, she saw a white piece of paper lying on the counter. She scanned it quickly and smiled at Edward's thoughtfulness. He hadn't always been that considerate in the past, often a bit self-absorbed, but this confirmed something she'd been thinking since she'd been there. He had changed.

Not sure what to do with the realization, she made a pot of coffee and began rummaging through the cabinets for something to eat. She was just about to settle for a bowl of cereal when she saw the waffle iron. It had been a while since she'd made waffles, and as good as they sounded, she would be lying if she didn't fully own up to the fact that she knew they were Edward's favorite. He used to adore her waffles, loving how she made the batter just slightly sweet and then topped them with fresh berries, pecans, syrup, and a little powdered sugar.

With a little thrill of excitement, she set to work, quickly whipping together the batter and preparing the ingredients for the toppings.

~*SD*~

The light poured through the window in Edward's room, and he stared out at the beautiful mountains. There was nothing like seeing the way the soft white clouds sat low across the snow covered peaks or the intense shade of blue that framed the whole scene. The rolling hills, still green despite being so late in fall, still called to him. He thought about what had happened the night before - Bella on the couch cuddled beside him under the guise of friendship, when it was becoming increasingly clear that there was something more there, her knocking on his door and asking for something to sleep in, and him getting lost in his own memories of their time together. Spying his soiled pajama pants, he threw the covers back and got out of bed before his body got the best of him again. He needed to clear his head, and he knew the best way to do that was to go out for a long ride.

A short time later, he saddled his horse, Sugar, patting her lovingly on the neck and nuzzling her soft mane before climbing onto her back. He walked her out of the paddock and they made their way to the open fields bordering the forest.

He could feel Sugar's strength and the give of her muscles as they started into an easy run. He knew how much she loved to run, and he needed the feel of the cool mountain air to help him push away all thoughts of Bella, at least enough to get himself under control. He dug his knees into her sides, causing her to break into an all out run.

The cool wind bit at his skin in the most refreshing way, and the longer they ran, the more relaxed he felt. With each pounding step, he felt his muscles uncoil and his shoulders sag easily. A good hour later, Sugar slowed to a stop. Edward swung down and led her over to the stream where she dipped her long neck down and drank hungrily.

Edward left her to drink and wander freely for a bit as he sat down underneath a nearby tree. The ground was cold and hard, but he welcomed the clarity it brought. He looked at the mountains, a view he'd come to associate with comfort and home, and breathed deeply. The cool air rushed through his nose, instantly filling him with a sense of peace and calm. Being outside had always helped him put things in perspective. He could remember the many times his dad had brought him out there or sent him off for a ride when he'd been upset or anxious about something. He felt a familiar pang of longing for his parents. He missed them. He missed the long conversations he and his dad often had under the open skies or the way his mom always knew just when he needed a hug. He wished he could confide in his father about Bella. He could imagine his dad telling him to go for it, especially since he knew how lonely Edward had been over the years. But Edward also knew his dad would have told him to deal with the things that had pulled them apart in the first place.

Edward had never been one to sweep things under the rug, and Bella's lack of trust and her ultimatum all those years ago were at the heart of the issue. He didn't have a clue how to bring those things up with her, or if he really wanted to dredge up all the pain that went with it.

With a deep sigh, he turned his gaze toward the trees where he saw a herd of deer moving easily along the perimeter. He watched them make their way back into the darker recesses of the forest before looking over at Sugar. She whinnied softly as she walked over to him, nudging him with her soft, wet nose.

"Hey, girl," Edward said, running his hand along her forehead before standing up, placing his foot in the stirrup, and swinging up onto her back. He leaned over, patting the side of her neck affectionately before urging her to head home.

Together, they moved at an easy pace. The sun had broken through the early morning clouds and was climbing in the sky. The rays beamed down, warming him ever so slightly. He found his thoughts drifting back to Bella as she'd snuggled up next to him and the sense of warmth he'd felt with her beside him. She smelled so good, berry sweet like old times, and was so damn beautiful that he could hardly believe she'd been his once before. The more time she spent at his place, the more he liked it. He liked having her in his home, and he wondered what it would be like if she were a permanent fixture. Would she want to give up her job at the bank and move out here? Would she like being a rancher's wife?

As they neared the fenced in paddock, Edward laughed at himself. Move? Marriage? A rancher's wife? Where the hell was that even coming from? He was getting too far ahead of himself, especially when he had no clue whether she would even be willing to give him another chance. Of course, the burning intensity between them the night before as they'd stood staring at each other after the popcorn incident and then again when she'd waited for him to get her some sleep clothes had given him the very strong impression that she did in fact want more, but wasn't willing to admit it.

The barn loomed ahead, and as he entered, he immediately welcomed the heady scent of animal and the sweet smell of hay. _Home_. It always had been, even when he'd been on the road. It grounded him and helped him find his way when everything around him hadn't made sense.

Climbing down, he grabbed a bucket of oats and poured them into Sugar's feedbox before unsaddling her. She eagerly chomped on her treat while Edward lovingly groomed her. With every brush of her mane and pick of her hooves, he found himself again.

A good half an hour and two apples for Sugar later, Edward walked into the house, quietly slipping off his boots, setting his hat on the entryway table and hanging his coat on the peg by the door.

The smell of coffee greeted Edward. He could hear Bella moving around the kitchen but wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted him as he rounded the corner. Bella, still in his sleep clothes, was absolutely stunning. He could see _Masen_ just peeking out from beneath her hair, and just like he'd imagined last night, it definitely had an effect on him. Shifting a little, he watched her move with ease and confidence as she poured batter into the waffle iron. He felt a little zing of excitement. She knew those were his favorite, and without a thought, he blurted "Are you making waffles?"

She jumped and screamed, startled by the sound of his voice. She turned, her hand over her heart, and glared at him.

"You scared the shit out of me, Edward. Give a girl some warning," she chastised as her lips pulled into a smile.

He walked over to her and leaned over her shoulder and inhaled – batter and Bella. She made the best damn waffles he'd ever had, and he started salivating at the thought of how good they were going to be.

"These smell so good," he said as he leaned a little closer, his arms skimming her sides as he placed his hands on the counter.

She leaned back, unconsciously pressing her back against his chest. On instinct, he wrapped his arm around her waist and set his chin on her shoulder. They stood like that, both feeling as if it was the most natural thing in the world until Bella realized what she was doing and shifted, pulling away from his embrace. Edward immediately dropped his arm before retreating quickly.

Bella stood there, trying to gather her thoughts. What had she been thinking? She hadn't. She had acted instinctively, and it felt so right… and so wrong. It was Edward, and yet her mind instantly conjured images of Riley and the many times they had shared tender moments in their kitchen at home. With a slight shake of her head, a ridiculous attempt to actually clear away the confusion, she decided she wasn't going to over-analyze the situation. She couldn't afford to compare them to each other. They were two different people, and it didn't even matter. They were friends. Period.

Edward filled a mug with coffee and began gathering plates and silverware. He desperately wanted to diffuse the tension that he'd inadvertently created. What had he been thinking? He knew how skittish she was about being near him like that? Clearly he hadn't been thinking. Between seeing her in his clothes and the smell of the waffles… well, it was just too much. Acting only on what felt right at that moment, and it had, it felt like one of the many mornings he'd walked into their kitchen and wrapped his arms around her and buried his nose in her neck.

"Bella…"

"Edward…" Bella said at the same time he called out her name. Their eyes met, and they both laughed awkwardly.

"You first," Bella offered, waving her hand in front of her.

"No… seriously, you go."

Bella stared at him and swallowed apprehensively. "I just wanted to say… thank you for letting me use your clothes last night," she said as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Edward knew it was a nervous habit of hers. She had always toyed with pieces of her hair when she was nervous, and it was clear that habit hadn't died over the years. He looked at her skeptically, knowing full well that wasn't what she'd been planning to say, but he didn't press the issue.

He nodded and decided to play it cool. "Sure. No problem," he said, picking up the plates and walking into the dining room. He laid the plates, silverware, and napkins on the table. The whole thing seemed too formal, and he immediately picked them all up and walked back into the kitchen.

"This is stupid, Bunny. Why do we keep doing this?" he asked as he set everything down on the counter with a loud thud.

She jerked her head up and stared at him in surprise. She knew exactly what he meant because she had been thinking the same thing. The constant struggle between them was ridiculous. They had been together a long time, in the most intimate way at one time; being together in the same room shouldn't have been an issue.

After a brief pause, she smiled tentatively. "It is stupid. Why are we acting like this?"

"Look," he said, walking over to her. "I meant what I said last night. I'm not trying to be anything more than friends. I know things… I know they aren't like they used to be between us. A lot has happened, and as much as I might wish things were different, I know they aren't. So… can we just relax? I promise I won't push or do anything to try and make you uncomfortable.

"I'm not the same person I was back then, Bunny, and I hope I've given you a glimpse of that. I'm not going to lie and say I don't want something more with you. I do, and I'm pretty sure you know that. But I'm not going to push you. Scouts honor," he said, holding up two fingers and smiling in an attempt to lighten the moment a bit.

"You weren't a boy scout," Bella chided.

He laughed and it felt so good to hear it. Bella knew he was telling the truth. He didn't want the uncomfortable strain to continue between them anymore than she did. Bella bit her bottom lip and nodded. "Thank you, Edward."

She turned around and then back again to face him. "And I have noticed that things… you have changed. I know we have things to talk about, but can we just _be_ for now? Please?" she pleaded softly.

She reached out her hand for his, and when he took it, she knew he understood.

~*SD*~

The rest of the morning was spent in easy conversation, both feeling immensely better after the friction from the morning had gone away. Edward fawned over her waffles, and Bella couldn't help the swelling feeling of satisfaction she felt knowing how much he still loved them. It was silly, but it meant a lot to her.

After cleaning up the kitchen together, Edward asked Bella if she'd like to go for a ride. At first, she was hesitant. It had been a long time since she'd ridden a horse. In fact, it had been almost nine years, and truth be told, she was a little nervous.

Sensing her hesitation, Edward started to backpedal. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, especially given the many hurdles they had already overcome in order to get to the point of general comfortableness.

"You don't have to… I just thought it might be fun to get out of the house," Edward said, scrubbing his hand through his hair.

"Oh, no. It's just… it's been a while since I've ridden a horse."

Edward laughed, relieved. He gestured to her clothing and grinned. "You'll probably want to put on something a little more practical."

She looked down and blushed. "Oh, right. Give me just a second."

She turned to head toward her room and then turned. "Crap! I forgot my clothes are still in the washing machine. They're not going to be dry for a while," she muttered.

"Oh," Edward said, trying to think of something. He really wanted to go riding with her. It was something they'd done together a lot in college, and he had always loved watching the way her body moved effortlessly with the horse. "Hang on a sec."

He walked down the hall toward his room but turned to go into the third bedroom. He opened the closet doors and quickly started opening boxes. He rarely came in here. This was the room he kept most of his parents' old things, as well as his rodeo trophies and buckles, and he didn't like the way it made him feel. As he opened boxes marked '_For Goodwill'_, he found a pair of his mom's old riding pants and a long sleeved purple thermal shirt. He grabbed them and walked back out to see Bella still standing where he'd left her.

"Here," he said, holding out the clothes to her. "These were my mom's. I think they'll probably fit, although they might be a bit big."

Bella took them, grateful, and whispered her thanks. As she turned to go change, Edward called after her, "Just come out to the stable when you're ready."

She nodded before rushing off. As she passed by the laundry room, she tossed her clothes into the dryer. She pressed the button to start it and headed into her room. The clothes were a little bit too big, just as Edward had predicted, but she didn't mind. She hadn't thought to ask why his mother's clothes were still at the house, especially since they didn't live there, but dismissed it.

Tugging her hair into a ponytail, she felt her nerves kick into full gear. She was going riding with Edward for the first time in a long time. Would it feel like old times? Would he be patient with her just like he used to be, she wondered as she tugged on the tan pants and quickly pulled on the shirt. A brief glance in the mirror revealed flushed cheeks and bright eyes, and she had a feeling that this was going to be fun.

By the time Bella made it out to the stable, Edward had Sugar saddled and ready to go. As she walked inside, he smiled.

"Hey," he said easily.

"Hey."

"This is my horse, Sugar. And this," he said, pointing to a dappled grey horse with a white mane, "is Lady Grey."

Bella walked over as Edward pulled her out of her stall. She slowly made her way over and gently stroked her forehead, feeling the soft hairs against her fingertips. She looked into the horse's dark eyes and instantly felt at ease. She had always enjoyed being around horses, loving how gentle, strong, and powerful they were.

"So, how much do you remember?" Edward asked, not wanting to assume anything.

"Um, the basics, I guess. Like I said, it's been a while."

Edward nodded. "Okay, well, let me get her saddled up, and we'll head out."

Bella watched as Edward laid a wool blanket across Lady Grey's back before setting the saddle on top. Every movement was filled with confidence and ease. She had forgotten just how at home he was with animals, which was silly since he'd spent the bulk of his life working with them. He quickly tightened all the buckles and straps, making sure they were secure. With a gentle pat to the horse's neck, he handed Bella the reins.

"Just remember to relax. She can sense when you're nervous. Lady Grey is older and knows her way around, so you shouldn't have to do much. She knows this place and could probably guide you around better than me," he said, his voice easy and full of mirth.

Bella nodded and trailed her finger along Lady Grey's neck and shoulders, taking a moment to really appreciate and familiarize herself with the horse. She ran her fingers through her long white mane before nuzzling her cheek against her short white and grey hair. Lady Grey whinnied softly, enjoying the attention. Bella pulled back and stared into the horse's eyes, and the instant ease she'd felt when she first looked into the horse's eyes returned in full force.

Feeling confident, Bella stuck her left foot in the stirrup and grabbed the saddle horn, pulling herself up and hiking her right leg over Lady Grey's back. Settling onto the saddle, she wiggled her butt, trying to get comfortable. It was hard, and Bella knew without a doubt she would most definitely feel some muscles she'd forgotten about later.

She grabbed the reins and watched as Edward mounted Sugar in one smooth motion.

"You ready?" he asked.

She grinned and nodded.

"Alright, then. Follow me."

Together, they moved out of the barn and into the open paddock at an easy pace. Edward slowed, waiting for Bella to sidle up beside him. As they neared the far end of the field, Edward dug his heels into Sugar's side and urged her into a slow gallop. Bella did the same. As Lady Grey started to jog, she tightened her grip on the reins, feeling a little unsure but exhilarated nonetheless. With every step, she felt more and more at ease, relishing the grace and strength of the horse beneath her. She had forgotten how much fun horseback riding was and how much fun she and Edward used to have riding together.

She looked over at him, and he beamed back at her. She loved seeing how alive he looked and the way his face lit up when he looked at her. She had missed that look, the way every expression told her how he felt. A slow, lazy grin spread across her face as they rode silently, side by side. There was no need for words. They were both lost in their own thoughts, perfectly content to let the powerful animals beneath them lead wherever they wanted.

"Do you want to give her a good run?" Edward eventually asked, breaking the easy silence into which they'd fallen.

"Yeah," Bella practically shouted, feeling the thrill of excitement course through her.

With a devilish grin, he hollered out, and Sugar took off at breakneck pace. Not wanting to be outdone, Lady Grey tore after them. Bella tightened her grip on her reins and urged her forward, her thighs gripping the horse tightly. Adrenaline surged through her with each pounding footstep. Everything around her became a blur of greens and browns as she blasted through the open field before her. Her face was frozen in a huge smile, and her eyes closed momentarily as she absorbed the powerful sensation of flying through the air. It was amazing to be so free. Riding horses had always been a mix of breathtaking euphoria and sensory overload, and she had pushed it all away when Edward left. In many ways, it was too painful a reminder to ride without him, but now, as she flew through the air, she realized how much she needed this little escape. She needed to see how it could be with him; she needed to feel the same euphoria and ease and happiness she'd felt from before, letting go – if only temporarily – of all the hurt and pain between them.

By the time they made it to the creek Edward had visited earlier that morning, Bella's cheeks were pink and slightly wind-chapped, strands of her hair had been pulled from her ponytail, and Edward had never seen her look so beautiful. He loved watching her ride. She had such a natural grace about her, and he had often wondered if she had thought about him throughout the years they'd been apart. As much as he might really want to know the answer, he couldn't bring himself to ask.

Edward jumped down from Sugar and patted her head lovingly before walking over to help Bella down.

"Fun?" Edward asked with a grin as he grabbed Lady Grey's bridle.

"That was amazing! I forgot how much fun riding is. It's been too long," Bella said with a smile of her own as she dropped the reins and swung her leg over the horse's back.

Edward's hands were immediately at her waist as he gently tugged her down. He held her a second longer than necessary before finally releasing her. Despite the way her eyes darkened and her mouth opened slightly, he wasn't going to make the same mistake he'd made in the kitchen earlier. He was going to go out of his way to make her comfortable, to rebuild her trust in him, and trying to cop a feel would undermine his efforts.

Bella walked Lady Grey over to the stream and let her drink. She stood there, completely at peace with her hand on the horse's bridle, and looked out over the water at the mountains and trees across the way. The view was stunning, much more so than what she'd seen from the house – which was also gorgeous – but out there, it felt like she could touch the sky. The air smelled so clean and pure. White clouds floated softly against a bed of brilliant blue. The evergreens danced easily in the light breeze, and the white mountaintops framed the scene in the most poignant way, like looking at a painting, vivid and full of detail. She could see the peaks, jagged and rugged, as if someone had chiseled each one and left them unfinished. She looked back at the stream and saw the same brilliance reflected back at her.

"This is amazing, Edward. The view, everything. It's breathtaking," she offered after a while, her arm sweeping toward the mountains.

"Yes, it is amazing," he said, his voice strong and sure, but his eyes never left her face. He saw her cheeks pink, and not wanting to embarrass her, he pulled his eyes away and quickly added, "I love it out here. This is one of the few things I missed when I was on the circuit."

She looked around, unwilling to make eye contact. Bella felt that pang, the one she always felt when talk of his rodeo days came up. She wondered, despite her desire not to, if he had missed her or thought about her while he was gone. She had thought about him, especially in the first couple of years. He had consumed her thoughts, and it was only after her trip to Europe and when Riley entered her life that she had managed to get him out of her head. Of course, it had become startlingly obvious in the last few weeks that he had always been there, deep inside. She hadn't realized that at the time, but in hindsight, she knew better. He'd always had a piece of her heart and always would.

Edward watched her looking around, avoiding him at all costs. He wanted to say something, to tell her what was on his mind. He hesitated, thinking back to the promise he'd made her in the kitchen that morning, but the longer he stood there, he knew he wouldn't find a better time. He wasn't going to push the issue, but he wanted her to know that she was and always had been important to him. Yes, he had chosen the rodeo, but he'd left a piece of himself with her the day he'd left, the day she'd forced him to choose, a piece that had left a gaping Bella-shaped hole in his life and still remained unfilled. Having her there had made him realize how empty he had really been, and she needed to know that. Propelled forward by the need to make her see him more clearly, he walked toward her, the dirt and grass muffling his steps.

She felt him before he even touched her. Heat rolled off him in waves, like a radiator on a cold winter day, practically burning her skin. She took a deep breath and held it inside, refusing to turn around, despite her desire to look into his steel blue eyes. She wanted to see what she hoped and feared was there, that he had missed her, had thought about her while he was gone, and maybe even wanted more. And yet, even as those thoughts raced through her mind, she felt her insides twist in confusion.

He trailed his fingers lightly down her back and then back up. He made the same circuit over and over, and she shivered with each pass, the sizzling energy she'd felt the night before coming at her in full force. Her back was tense beneath his fingers, and he knew he should stop, but touching her, even in that simple way, was like kindling on a fire. It was just enough to get things going, but not enough to push it into a raging inferno.

"Bella," Edward whispered as he ran his fingers through the tangled ends of her ponytail. "I missed you, too. More than anything."

She didn't turn. She didn't move. She stood still as a statue and processed what he'd said. _He'd missed her. More than anything. _How was that possible? He had left her. He had chosen a different life, a different dream; he had left her behind. It didn't make sense. Her stomach churned, and she felt sick.

His heart thrummed wildly as he waited for her to move, to respond in some way, to give him some indication that maybe she had felt even a little part of that. But she didn't. Desperate to see her eyes, he hesitantly reached for her arm and turned her stiff body to face him.

She looked at his face, taking in every inch of his rugged jaw, the sharp lines of his nose and cheek bones, his lips – oh God, those lips - and then his eyes. Steel blue, like the sky at twilight, stared back at her with a look of such intense longing and sadness, it took her breath away. It was there. Everything he'd just said was true. There was no doubt he'd meant every word.

"Edward, I…" she barely managed to get out before steel met chocolate, and everything she had been pushing down, all the feelings, the memories, the nagging guilt about Riley, seemed to slowly fade into the background. He could see the raw emotion in her molten brown eyes. Every ounce of confusion, hope, longing, and – dare he guess love – was there, on display for him. He wanted to wipe away the pain he saw deep inside the darkest depths of her eyes; he wanted to brush it away like cobwebs obscuring his view, only to be left with longing and what he hoped was love.

He cautiously lifted his hands to her face, and his slightly calloused thumbs trailed across her cheekbone and down to her jaw. She was so beautiful and everything inside him screamed at him to show her exactly how much he'd missed her when words wouldn't do. He took in the pink of her cheeks, the shiver of her body, the way her breath had hitched, and the way her tongue had peeked out just as his thumb passed over her bottom lip. His eyes sought hers as he leaned down and tenderly brushed his lips across hers. He didn't linger there but trailed his nose gently across her cheek, breathing in her sweet scent, and allowing the memories to wash over him. With each pass, he breathed her in more deeply, like a drowning man, desperate for air.

He closed his eyes and pulled her still stiff body into a hug. He held her like that for a long time, relishing the feel of her body against his. It wasn't sexual. He hoped it conveyed how much he'd missed her.

As Bella stood there, stunned and warm inside, she took in everything about the moment – the way he smelled like outdoors and clean laundry, how being back in his arms felt so right, and how her heart had zinged when his lips pressed against hers. She buried her nose against his chest and breathed in. He smelled like home, just like he always had, but so different than Riley. She knew Riley would want her to move on, to move forward without him, but the part of her that loved him felt so lost and empty. He had been her everything for five years. In many ways, he had saved her. Yes, she'd been on a forward facing path when he'd come along, but he had brought out the best in her. He'd made her laugh, reminded her what it meant to have fun again, and helped her realize that Edward wasn't the be all end all of love. He had reawakened a passion in her that had long been dormant.

But there, in Edward's arms, a part of her felt whole again. She breathed in, feeling warmth wash over her. Was she ready for this, whatever _this_ was with him? He had said friends, but snuggling on the couch, the way he touched her with such tenderness, and the feel of his lips on hers were not what friends did.

A piercing ring broke through the silence. Edward could barely feel the vibrations through his jacket, but another blaring ring forced him, albeit reluctantly, to loosen his arms and let Bella go. As he dug into his jacket pocket, he looked deep into her eyes, trying to read what she had been thinking, but all he saw were questions.

"Hello," Edward practically barked into the phone once he'd pushed the talk button.

Bella listened for a second before walking toward Lady Grey. Her head was a muddled mess of confusion, and she needed a minute away from Edward to think clearly.

"Um, Bella?" Edward called.

She turned around.

"Yes?"

"Would you like to meet Jasper and Alice and their daughter, Maria? They wanted to see if I had dinner plans…"

"Do we have dinner plans?" she asked. They certainly hadn't planned anything, and it was his house. She didn't want to presume anything.

"Well, I didn't want to do anything without you, and I think you'd like them," he said hopefully.

Bella could see the hopeful look on his face, and she couldn't help but feel a little curious about the women she had originally believed were his wife and daughter.

"That's fine with me."

Edward quickly wrapped up his call, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. He was going to be bringing two worlds together later that night, and something about that just felt right.

He walked over to Bella and stopped just before her.

"I meant what I said, Bella. I missed you. I know I said I wanted us to be friends, and I do. But…" he paused, hesitating just slightly. He wanted to be careful what he said and how he said it.

"But?" she asked, her eyes genuinely curious.

He pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair. Bella followed every move he made, loving the way the slight breeze ruffled his already tousled hair.

He felt vulnerable and exposed as he looked back at her face. She knew him well enough to know what he was probably thinking, and that little bit of power she commanded made him feel weak and slightly insecure. What he wanted to tell her was that he had never stopped loving her, that he wished she hadn't made him choose, that he wanted another chance, but he didn't know how to say that without freaking her out.

"But what, Edward?" she asked again, this time taking a step toward him.

His looked down at the hat in his hands and slowly slid it on. She knew. She had to know how he felt. Surely it had been evident in the way he looked at her, the way his lips had touched her, or in the way he'd constantly tried to eliminate any awkwardness between them.

"Edward, just tell me," she urged as she took another step closer and placed her hand on top of his.

Feeling a surge of confidence from the warmth of her skin against his, he blurted it out. "But I love you. I always have, and I want more."

Bella stared at him, her mouth hanging open slightly in surprise before looking out at the mountains. She knew she shouldn't be surprised. She had expected that from him, but expecting and hearing are two different things. Her mind was all over the place. Did she want more? Yes? No? Was it too soon? Could she fully trust him again? He seemed so different than he used to be, and something about that was very reassuring. But was it enough to heal old wounds?

She looked back at his gorgeous blue eyes and felt something inside her squeeze. She knew if she did give it a go, it would have to be slow. There were things they needed to discuss, and she couldn't just jump back into something with him, especially not after everything that had happened between them… and then Riley…

She swallowed and gave him a sad smile. "I need some time, Edward."

Edward felt his heart sink a little. What had he expected? He should have known better than to think she'd just jump back into a relationship with him. They were different people, and truthfully, they barely knew each other. Sure, they had memories, lots of them, but they weren't all good. And the one he was sure stood out the most prominently was the one he wished he could take back.

He nodded and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Of course, Bunny." He grabbed Sugar and Lady Grey's reins and smiled tightly, trying and failing to hide the disappointment he felt. "We should probably get going…" he trailed off.

He wanted to yell that he was different, that she was the one who had forced him to choose between the love of his life and his passion for the ride, but he knew it was too soon. It was too soon, and she was too raw emotionally to hear that from him.

She watched him closely. She had seen the tension lines form around his eyes and the way his jaw clenched tightly before he turned away. She wanted to make it all go away but didn't know how. She grabbed a hold of Lady Grey's saddle horn to hoist herself up when she felt his hands wrap around her waist to help her up. She waited for the lift, but froze when instead he leaned against her, his head resting between her shoulder blades. His sadness was palpable, and slowly, she turned to face him. Her hands cupped his sharp jaw, and she forced his eyes to meet hers.

"Edward, it wasn't a no. I just… a lot has happened over the last nine years… and I just need some time to wrap my head around the fact that you are somehow back in my life. I feel so many things right now… Please just give me a little time," she pleaded softly.

An overwhelming sense of relief rolled over him as her words warmed every fiber of his being. He pulled her to him in a bone crushing hug, desperate for contact with her, and nodded against the crook of her neck and shoulder.

"Thank you," he breathed as he loosened his arms and stepped back. "Let's go home."

~*Witfit*~

So, some stuff comes out, and we'll be meeting Alice and Jasper. This journey is really just beginning. Give these two time to figure things out. Remember, they were young when all this went down. Trust me. I had so much fun replying to your reviews today, I think I'll do it again. I'll include another little teaser again. xoxo


	8. Chapter 8

Seeing Daylight: A rodeo term for when the rider comes far enough off the horse that daylight is seen between him and the animal.

**~*Chapter 8*~**

The doorbell rang at six thirty, and Edward quickly made his way to the door as he wiped his hands on the dishtowel he'd picked up on his way there.

"Uncle Edward," a small voice screeched as soon as the door opened.

"Hey, baby girl," Edward said as he picked up the squealing little girl who'd tackled his legs.

She gave him an indignant huff, her arms perched on her hips, and her shoulders squared. "I am not a baby girl. I am five years old."

"Okay, okay. You are a big girl, aren't you?"

He looked up and saw Jasper and Alice still standing on the front porch, both grinning as they took in the whole scene.

"Come in, guys," he said, clapping Jasper on the shoulder and kissing Alice warmly on the cheek.

"You look different, Edward. Good," Alice said, smiling sweetly.

Edward looked at Jasper and shrugged before taking their coats and ushering them into the kitchen. He was just about to introduce them when Maria loudly announced their presence.

"Who is that pretty lady in your kitchen, Uncle Edward?"

Bella looked up and smiled shyly.

"That pretty lady, Maria, is my friend, Bella. We've known each other for a long time." Edward watched Bella intently as he introduced her, and she smiled easily.

"This is Jasper and his wife, Alice. And this little princess is Maria, my goddaughter," Edward said as he picked her up and twirled her around.

Laughter erupted from everyone as Maria giggled.

"You want a beer, Jas?" Edward asked, walking toward the fridge after he'd put Maria down.

"Sure," he said.

"Alice? Tea? Water?"

"Water, please, although I wish it was beer," she said with a laugh.

Bella looked down at her belly and then back at Edward in question, and he nodded.

"Baby number two is on the way," Alice said, rubbing her small bump affectionately.

Bella smiled and offered her quick congratulations.

After they had their drinks and dinner was served, everyone fell into easy conversation. There were no awkward moments, only laughter-filled stories. They talked about Edward and Jasper's crazy antics on the circuit, the way Alice and Jasper met, how Edward knew Bella (without all the dirty details), and how Bella ended up at Edward's for the weekend.

"Well, my car pretty much decided it was the time to croak," Bella said as she took a swig of beer.

"Yeah, and then I pretended like I knew how to fix it, but Bella knew I had no clue what I was doing," Edward offered with a self-deprecating smile.

"Of course, when we called the tow truck, it was already after business hours, so I had to wait until Saturday to get it fixed."

"Unfortunately, when she called on Saturday, they told her the repair was easy, but they didn't have the part. So, instead of me driving her three and half hours back to her house in Green River…"

"He told me I could stay here until then," Bella finished with a warm smile, her eyes flickering between Edward, Alice, and Jasper.

Alice and Jasper watched the interchange between them with keen interest. They had never seen Edward behave that way, not even when he won the NFR for the first time. His eyes were bright, and his laughter as they finished telling the story was full of mirth. He was lighthearted for the first time in a really long time. They sounded like an old married couple, and both Alice and Jasper smiled knowingly at each other.

They had both worried Edward would never find someone, especially after his injury, but seeing the two of them together made both Alice and Jasper wonder if Bella wasn't the girl Edward needed.

The remainder of the evening passed quickly. Maria eventually fell asleep, exhausted from the gymnastics and dance performances she'd put on for them. Talk drifted back to Edward's rodeo days and Bella wondered what had really happened to him after he'd been injured. She was about to ask when she saw Edward stiffen slightly, a fleeting look of sadness passing across his face when Jasper mentioned how proud Edward's parents would have been at what he had done to the ranch.

"You're carrying out their dream, Edward, and it's too bad they won't be able to see everything this place will ultimately become," Jasper said with a sad look of his own.

Edward nodded, his lips pursed and his brow furrowed. Without a thought, Bella's hand drifted across the table to touch his, a gesture that was not lost on Alice or Jasper. His eyes traveled toward hers and his face softened before a small smile pulled at the corners of his lips.

After an awkward pause and a couple stories later, Edward and Bella walked Jasper, Alice, and a sleeping Maria to the door. As it closed behind them, Bella couldn't help but relish the sense of ease she felt. It had been a long time since she'd done anything with other couples, and it felt good to be in mixed company again.

"That was fun. I like your friends," she said sincerely.

Edward beamed. He knew from the look on Jasper's face that he and Alice had liked Bella, too, and given that Jasper knew their whole back story, he had probably figured out that things were slowly moving forward.

"I'm glad. Jasper is seriously my best friend. He's been with me through everything – the highs and the lows on the circuit – and I'm not sure what I would have done with him… or Alice, for that matter, after…."

"After?"

He scratched his head and winced at the memory. "It's a long story. You want another beer or something before I tell you about it?"

"I think I'll have a hot tea, if that's okay? I can make it."

They walked back into the kitchen together, made their drinks, and then meandered side-by-side back into the living room. After settling onto the couch, Edward looked at Bella for a long time, silently taking in how beautiful she was and hoping the story wouldn't change the way she saw him. He had encountered many people from his past after he'd been injured who'd stared at him with pity, and he didn't want to see that in her eyes. He didn't need her pity; he'd come a long way in the three years since the accident, and he was finally in a good place.

"How much do you know?" he asked, not wanting to rehash a bunch of stuff she might already know. "I mean, I don't want to presume you followed my career after we… um, after we broke up."

"Well, I know you were basically at the peak of your career and that you were injured at the Finals."

Bella did in fact know more than that, but she wanted him to fill in the gaps.

He nodded and took a sip of his beer before sitting it on the side table. With a deep breath, he began.

"It's probably easiest to start at the beginning," he said tentatively, knowing he was about to enter sensitive and potentially painful territory for them. He looked at her, his eyes silently questioning whether or not it was really okay.

She nodded her head and smiled.

"Well, after we split up," he said sadly, "I threw myself into the rodeo. I spent the next four or so years learning and winning. After the first year, I found my groove and just went with it. I spent the bulk of my time on the road, moving from one rodeo to the next, and met a lot of people along the way."

Bella shifted uncomfortably but tried to keep her face impassive; she knew what he meant. She had heard the rumors about all the girls. She'd come face to face with many of them when they'd been together, and she knew they were relentless. Plus, given that Edward was absolutely the hottest guy she had ever seen, especially when he was wearing his hat, tight jeans, and cowboy boots, what girl could resist?

He laughed nervously. "It's not like that, Bella… well, it was, but well, I…" he paused, scratching the back of his neck. "After we split up, I just… well, I didn't really want anyone else." Edward clamped his mouth down, surprised that his unedited thoughts had slipped out. He definitely hadn't planned to say anything about that, and he could tell by the look of shock on Bella's face that she was surprised, as well.

"But, the rumors… the stories…"

He laughed, sensing her embarrassment. "I thought you didn't really know what happened?" he asked, arching his eyebrow up at her.

"I didn't follow your career that closely. I mean, I did a little at the beginning, but things changed, and I couldn't anymore. I had to let you go."

The intensity in the room had escalated to the point of being very uncomfortable. They both sat back in stunned silence, completely confused at how the conversation had led them to that point. Neither was prepared to deal with the heaviness of their confessions, but it was there, smothering them like a wet blanket.

"Edward, let's not do this," Bella said, dismissing his chance to even respond to her admission. "Let's not rehash everything that happened between us or the sad stories that came as a result. What happened when you got hurt?"

He blinked, not wanting to let it go. That feeling he'd felt earlier welled up inside him. He wanted to stomp and yell, angry that she'd made the decision for them. He wanted to tell her that he'd never wanted to be away from her, but she hadn't given him the chance. Unfortunately, he also knew her well enough to know it wouldn't help to press the issue. When she had her mind set, she didn't waver, and it was definitely not the time to push, especially not when his head was buzzing with the knowledge of how much their breakup had hurt her. He hated that he'd done that to her. He hated that he'd done it to himself… for something so temporary. He should have pushed back, told her he wanted to be with her and on the circuit, and that together, they could have found a way. That was what he should have said, but he hadn't. Pride, ego, and dreams had chosen the rodeo for him, and sadly, he'd walked away from everything they had.

Swallowing thickly, he nodded. "Right. Well, like I said, I was at the pinnacle of my career. I had pretty much won all the major competitions at one point or another during my four year run. So, when we headed to Vegas for the National Finals, it was so I could win the Bare Back World Championship for the third year in a row. I had ridden really well all throughout the tournament; every ride was clean, and I had gotten great marks. So, by the time the semi-final round rolled around, the championship was mine to lose. I had enough points to pretty much guarantee me the buckle and money, even if I didn't have a completely clean ride. I stood on the edge of the stall and knew it was do or die."

_~*Three Years Earlier*~_

_Adrenaline coursed through Edward's veins as he climbed onto the back of the horse. He could feel the strength of the animal, its clear disdain for the rider evident as the horse moved uneasily. Edward had ridden this horse, Bruiser, before and knew he was unpredictable and wild, but having beaten him several times already, he was confident he could do it again. _

_He gripped the rigging, wrapping the strap tightly around his hand and wrist, and gave it a tug to make sure it was secure. With a deep breath and nod of his head, Edward shouted his ready, and Jasper gave the signal. _

_The chute opened and Bruiser shot out, bucking wildly, trying to rid himself of the unwanted weight on his back. Edward fought to steady himself and keep his spurs above the horse's shoulders, knowing once the horse's feet touched the ground he'd be in the clear. There was no way in hell it was going to knock him off before he'd even marked out properly. _

_With his left hand waving above his head, the black and blue fringes on his chaps flapping wildly, he brought his knees up and dug his spurs into the horse's shoulders. As the horse spun and jumped again, Edward shifted to the side, caught off guard by the unexpected turn. Trying to right himself without the use of his hand was practically impossible as the horse bucked again, throwing Edward even further off center. _

_Edward's heart thundered in his head and chest. He could hear the announcer over the public address system giving a play-by-play to the roaring crowd, and he knew he needed to get his head back on straight. He tried to tune it all out, something he was known for, but as his eyes caught site of the time clock, he started to panic. _

_4 seconds. _

_Fuck! He still had another four seconds to go. _

_As if the horse sensed the tension, it shifted and spun again before bucking with all its strength. Edward's body flew up off the horse, his body twisting and falling against Bruiser's side. His hat rolled across the arena, and the crowd gasped in horror, knowing their shining star was badly injured. _

_Pain ripped through him as his weight pulled on his wrist and shoulder. Desperate to be off the horse, he started to panic. His legs flailed, seeking solid ground. The horse bucked again, spinning around, in an attempt to get rid of the dead weight hanging against its side. _

"_Did you see the daylight between Masen and Bruiser, folks?" the announcer cried out in excitement. _

_Horses were always bucking enough to get their riders clear off their backs, but it was rare for it to happen to someone with Edward's skill and strength. "This horse wants Masen off its back! Did you see the way it set him up, bucked, and sucked back? We're seeing some crazy stuff today, folks!"_

_The pain was blinding. With each jolt to his arm, Edward gritted his teeth, just barely keeping his agony from escaping. He may have been in pain, but he still had his pride. There was no way he was going to give his competitors or the damn announcer the satisfaction. _

_After what felt like a bruising eternity, he was eventually cut lose. His heart was hammering, the staccato erratic, and as he slumped to the ground, he landed on his hurt arm. A wave of nausea overtook him, even stronger than the excruciating pain, and that was the last thing he remembered before everything went black._

_He woke up to the sounds of beeping machines and looked around. Hospital. He tried to sit up and realized his right arm was completely wrapped and pressed against his bare chest. His mom was by his side in an instant, cooing and fussing, making sure he was okay._

"_Edward, honey," she said, relieved to see he was awake._

"_Mom," he croaked, his voice raspy and dry._

_She fretted over him for a second, checking his shoulder bandages and brushing the hair off his forehead, before holding up a cup of water for him to take a drink. He watched her face as she tried to hide her emotions, but Edward could tell it was bad. His mom always saw the good in things, but she wasn't smiling and worry was etched all over her face._

"_How bad is it?"_

_He didn't need to elaborate. She knew what he was asking, and God help her, she didn't want to tell him he'd probably never be able to ride again. She swallowed a couple of times and tried to figure out how to answer his question. Just as she was about to open her mouth, the door opened, and his father walked in._

_Carlisle took in the scene before him and knew he had just interrupted something._

"_What's going on?" he asked, looking between his son and his wife._

"_Mom's stalling. How bad is it?" Edward asked. He knew his dad would never lie to him. That was one of the things he had grown to appreciate about his father. He was honest above all things, sometimes brutally, but it was always with the best intentions. Edward knew his father wouldn't beat around the bush like his mom might, even though she, too, meant well._

"_It's not good, son," Carlisle said gravely. "The doctors aren't sure of the full extent of the damage yet, but you tore your rotator cuff and bicep. They also suspect you hyper extended your elbow until it broke, tore some of the tendons in your wrist, and possibly damaged the tendons in your shoulder. Until they do some additional tests, they won't be sure."_

_After listening to the litany of injuries he'd sustained, Edward dropped his head back against the pillow and closed his eyes. He tried to process exactly what he'd just been told. _

_Torn rotator cuff. Torn bicep. Broken elbow and torn tendons in his wrist and shoulder. _

_Any one of those things was bearable. Hell, even two of them, but hearing all of them combined left Edward feeling numb and at a loss. It would take months, if not years, to come back from that kind of injury, if ever. _

"_Edward, I know what you're thinking," his mom said quietly as she placed her hand on his leg. _

_He opened his eyes and stared at her blankly. How could she possibly know what he was thinking, feeling at this moment? His career was essentially over at the ripe age of twenty-nine. _

"_You can come back from this. I know you're thinking about your career being over, how you'll never be able to overcome this, but that's just not true. The doctors have-"_

"_Mom," he interrupted as nicely as he could, his voice cold and hard. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he didn't want to be comforted right now. He wanted to process exactly what the hell he was going to do now and how – if – he was going to overcome this. "I appreciate you trying to make me feel better. I just need some time to process everything."_

_A look of hurt flashed in her eyes, but she didn't say anything. She simply nodded, patted his leg, and turned to go. He immediately felt guilty. His eyes whipped over to his father's, and he saw exactly what he needed – understanding. _

_Carlisle walked over and pulled his wife into a hug. He knew she meant well, but her tender heart wasn't used to seeing her son injured. It had taken her a long time to come to grips with Edward going pro and the potential dangers he faced. Seeing him in a hospital bed had done nothing but confirm all her long held fears at how dangerous bronc riding really was._

"_Esme," Carlisle whispered softly against her hair, "don't be upset. This is going to take a while to sink in. He needs time to think about what this means and what it's going to take to get healthy again. He's got a long road ahead of him, and we're going to have to go at his pace."_

_She nodded and sniffled._

_As Edward watched the scene unfold before him, his guilt intensified. He hated seeing his mom upset, and he knew he was responsible for it_

"_Mom," Edward called to her. She turned and looked at him, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. _

"_Yes, honey?" she practically whispered, clearly fighting to keep her tears in check._

"_Come here, please."_

_She walked over to him. Edward reached his good arm across and took her hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm just… overwhelmed." As the words poured out, he felt the tension in his chest tighten and his eyes prickle with tears. He swallowed thickly as she pressed a kiss to his forehead, like she used to do when he was sick._

"_Shhh. I'm just being a mom. I'm glad it wasn't… well, I'm glad you're going to be okay, honey."_

_Despite being confused and overwhelmed, Edward was grateful to have such amazing parents. He reached up and patted her arm. "I love you, Mom. Thank you."_

"It took a full year, several surgeries, and a lot of physical therapy to get it back to 'normal'," he said, miming air quotes and giving her a sad smile. "I tried to come back, riding in a couple of test events, but it wasn't the same. My strength never fully returned, and every ride was always accompanied by pain. After a while, I think I knew it was time to let it all go and do something else with my life."

Bella hadn't said a word since he started. As he told his story, she winced and groaned at the depth of pain he must have gone through, and even worse, the sadness and sense of loss he must have felt giving up the one thing he had wanted more than anything, the one that had broken them apart.

She could see the way his shoulders slumped sadly, and without thinking, she scooted over and grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers with his. Her hand was immediately enveloped in a warmth and familiarity she hadn't felt in a long, long time. Looking up at him, she saw his eyes darken with what she thought might be acknowledgement of all the things she was feeling.

He leaned forward, and her body tensed in anticipation and longing as she felt the warmth of his breath brush across her face. Bella's heart was thundering in her ears. If it were beating any faster, she was afraid it would leap out of her chest.

She closed her eyes and held her breath as his lips pressed against her forehead. She expelled the air from her lungs, relief and frustration swirling around her.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I know that was your dream," Bella said sincerely.

"It's okay, Bunny. Honestly, it was time for me to let it go, get on with my life, and try something new. You can't ride on the back of a horse like that forever," he said with a smirk.

She laughed. "Well, that's certainly true, but I can't imagine it makes it any easier."

"No, it doesn't, but like I said, I've made peace with where I am and what I achieved. I did what I set out to do, and I honestly can't complain. I lived out my dream," he said after a short beat of quiet. What he didn't say, even though he wanted to, was how he'd lost before he even began.

Bella brushed her thumb across the top of his hand. There was one other thing she wanted to ask, but she was almost afraid to draw the conversation down another dark path.

"Edward, what happened to your parents?" she finally asked, her voice quiet.

He brushed his fingertips across the smooth skin on her wrist and smiled sadly. "They died a couple years ago. They were killed in a car accident, just as I was finishing up my physical therapy."

Bella looked down and felt her heart ache for his loss. She had only met his parents the few times they'd come to visit at school and the one time she'd been to the ranch, but she remembered how well she'd liked them both.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," she said as she stared into his eyes, grey and glinting with sadness. She knew it was inadequate. No words were good enough to erase the hurt that always lay dormant just below the surface.

"Thanks. As you can probably imagine, the last three years have been rough, but Alice and Jasper, and some other good friends really helped me pull through. I've spent the last year or so pouring every ounce of my time and energy into the ranch. My parents had a dream, and the more I live here and work the land, the more it has become mine, too."

After a pause, his finger returned to gliding lightly over her wrist. He lifted her hand and brushed his lips against her fingers, his eyes never leaving hers. "And somehow I've come full circle, and you're back in my life."

Bella gasped quietly. She felt her stomach knot and her heart start to pound. She looked at him, really looked at him. His eyes were soft and warm, and she could feel the emotion – the stress of being there with him, the sexual tension that was like a live wire between them, and the fire hose of memories she'd had to process through – welling up inside her. She didn't want to run from her feelings, but she needed to wrestle with how this would work.

"I know this weekend hasn't been easy for you, Bella, but I'm so glad you're here," he whispered, his murky grey-blue eyes locking with hers.

They both watched each other trying to absorb the swarm of feelings they were both batting around. She could see the sadness and pain there, and she was grateful he realized how difficult and confusing the weekend had been. But there had been moments, like the one they'd just shared, when she felt like everything was as it always should have been. Bella let herself get lost in the sensation of his fingers intertwined with hers, his lips, so soft and warm against the top of her hand, and his eyes, boring into hers. Needing to get them back to safer ground, she looked at the clock and chuckled.

Edward knew she was waging a mental war – should she give in to the many feelings swirling around inside her or continue to stall. He wanted to push her a bit, to challenge her to be honest about her feelings for him, to talk about what had really happened that day, but he decided not to press her. He knew he would have to do that at some point, but he'd bared enough of his soul to her tonight and didn't have enough left inside for that conversation.

"Yes, I'm here now," she said, responding to his earlier bit about how they'd come full circle. "And it's also three in the morning…"

"I guess that means we should hit the hay," he said with an easy smile.

"I guess so."

They carried their dishes back to the kitchen and made quick work of cleaning everything up. When they finished, they both moved to the hallway and stood staring at each other, neither one wanting to say goodnight. Bella could feel the way his eyes were roving across her face and pausing at her lips, and despite her earlier hesitance, she wanted nothing more than for him to kiss her right then.

He shifted slightly and slowly walked toward her. The air around them grew heavy and thick, and anticipation hung in the air. Her tongue peeked out as she licked her lips, feeling her stomach knot and her heart start to thump like crazy. When he gently cupped her cheek, she instinctively leaned into it, relishing the warm roughness of his calloused hands against her soft skin. His eyes dipped down again to her lips and then up to her eyes. With slow, deliberate movement, he leaned forward and gently brushed his lips against hers. The ever present crackle of tension between them buzzed loudly as her mouth opened slightly, allowing him to deepen their kiss.

Their lips moved together easily, gliding and tasting, sucking and savoring. Her hands found their way up his chest and around his neck, only to tangle in his silky soft hair. Melded together like that, all the confusion seemed to fade away. It was just the two of them, and something about that felt right.

A quiet moan and the sound of quickened breathing broke the silence, and slowly, with another tender kiss or two, Edward stepped back.

_She was so damn gorgeous_, he thought as he took in the way her face was glowing.

He pulled his hand away, and Bella immediately felt its absence. She stared at him, dazed and wanting more.

"Good night, Bunny," he said as he turned to walk to his room. Bella stood there, staring after him, before somehow forcing her feet to move. Just as she was about to enter her room, she heard him call her name.

"Oh, and Bella," he said, pausing as she turned to face him. "I'm glad your car broke down. Sweet dreams."

He turned and couldn't help the huge grin and sense of triumph he felt at the shock on her face or the flush that had colored her cheeks as she mumbled goodnight and turned away.

~*SD*~

I am humbled by the love this little fic has received over the last week. I'm grateful for the lovely review kikikinz wrote about SD for The Wayward Pusher blog; it was a treat and such a fun surprise! Thank you! There will be a teaser for chapter 9 over at The Fictionators blog later today!


	9. Chapter 9

Seeing Daylight

**~*Chapter 9*~**

"Hi, Tanya, it's Bella. I was hoping to catch you in person to let you know I won't be in today. A few things came up over the weekend and I need to take care of some personal stuff. I'll be in tomorrow morning. If you need something, feel free to give me a call," Bella said as she ended her message to her boss.

She had woken up bright eyed and ready to face the day. Her car was supposed to be ready before noon, and while she was a little reluctant to say goodbye to Edward, she knew she needed to get away from him and his house in order to think clearly. After the searing kiss from the night before, she had laid in bed, reeling from the intensity of emotion she felt. Everything about that moment had been perfect – the feel of his lips, the slight roughness of his hands, and the tender way his eyes had searched hers – and it left her longing for more.

As the fog of sleep started to pull her under, Bella was certain of three things:

_One: She still had feelings for Edward._

_Two: She was willing to give him another chance, but she needed to take it slow. _

_Three: Kissing Edward had stirred up a need deep inside her, something she definitely wanted to repeat._

With that firmly resolved in her head, she was able to get a good night's sleep for the first time since she'd arrived.

After leaving her message for Tanya, she packed up the few things she had used over the weekend and carried her purse and laptop bag into the dining room. She set her things down against the wall and made her way into the kitchen. She was itching for a cup of coffee, and from the smell of things, Edward already had a pot brewing.

The kitchen was full of light, and a black mug with a note underneath was sitting on the counter. Bella pulled the blue piece of paper out from under it and quickly scanned it.

_Good morning, beautiful. I hope you slept well. I have to take care of some things out in the barn and then I'm going to take Sugar out for a quick ride. It's our routine. Help yourself to anything… and if you feel like making more waffles, well, you won't hear any complaints from me._

_Edward_

Bella couldn't help the easy grin that had formed on her face as she read his words. This was the second time he'd left her a note, and there was something really endearing about it. It was almost as if he wanted to make sure she continued to feel welcome in his home and reaffirm that she wasn't a burden to him.

She set the note down and filled her mug with steaming hot coffee, wondering what she should do while she waited. She didn't really want to fire up her laptop, knowing once she did she'd get sucked into doing work or answering email. She had enjoyed living in this temporary bubble of peace and quiet, and she wasn't quite ready to face the world of property assessments again.

After a few sips, enough to get her fully up and going, Bella pulled out the ingredients for a breakfast scramble and biscuits. She really didn't feel like waffles, and she knew Edward would enjoy it anyway.

Thirty minutes later, the oven was beeping and Bella had just finished her scramble. She pulled the golden biscuits out of the oven, cracked them open and added a little butter to each. She knew not everyone preferred this, but having lived with Edward, she knew he always buttered his biscuits right away so the buttery flavor could soak in. After loading up her plate, she refilled her coffee, and walked into the living room.

The room had slowly become her favorite. It was bright and sunny, and the view simply couldn't be beat. Bella could see the horses roaming freely in the fenced paddock and stared at the snow-capped mountains in the distance. Edward really did have it made out here. He was his own boss, had a beautiful home, and was surrounded by some of the most beautiful countryside Bella had ever seen. She thought about heading back to her own house later in the day. She had to admit that the idea of being in her own space, with her own clothes and toiletries, was really appealing to her. But she also knew how lonely it could be sometimes, and she wondered how it would feel after having been with Edward for the last few days. Would she be lonely? Would the house be too quiet?

She turned and sat in one of the large arm chairs and sipped her coffee. She thought about everything that had happened over the weekend and rolled her eyes at how many times she had tried to think through everything. She had always been one to overanalyze situations, but she still couldn't wrap her head around how crazy the whole situation was.

She thought about the realization she'd made the night before and wondered for the hundredth time if she really did need space and time to consider how she felt. The question of whether she was really willing to open her life up to him, to be vulnerable and trust he wouldn't hurt her again, slowly felt like a non-issue. Yes, she had doubts and fears and concerns, but they didn't seem to hold the same significance they had when she'd arrived earlier that weekend.

Edward had changed. He was attentive, so much more so than he used to be, and he'd gone out of his way to make sure she felt comfortable. He hadn't pushed her, and as she thought back on all the intense moments they'd had, she realized there was something under the surface. She knew there were things that needed to be said, but it was almost as if he was waiting for some cue from her. She wondered what he would say when the time finally came. Would he apologize for walking out on her all those years ago? Would he say it was all worth it? In some ways, she hoped he did… both, but she also didn't think he should bear the full brunt of fault either. Who they were back then was vastly different from who'd they become in the subsequent years. Who was to say they would have made it, even if he'd chosen differently?

She reached over and set her empty mug on the side table and noticed a stack of books tucked in the bookshelf, almost hidden from view behind a picture of Edward's family. Curious, she stood up and grabbed one. It was a photo album, clearly created by a woman. As she flipped through it, she smiled at all the pictures of Edward holding buckles and trophies and picture after picture of him riding. A series of pictures caught her eye, of Edward riding in a competition when he was still in high school. As she looked through them, she was reminded of the many, many times she'd sat in the stands and watched the way his body had been tossed about while the horse underneath him bucked wildly. It had always been an intensely sensual experience, watching the way his thighs tightly gripped the horse and his body moved as one with the bucking horse.

She swallowed thickly and moved on to another image; it was clearly from the National Finals. He was standing in the midst of the arena with a buckle held high above his head. He looked as sexy as ever in his tight jeans, a flashy pair of red and black chaps, slightly dusty black boots, and one of his signature black button-down shirts. His black hat was perched low on his head and he was beaming, his white teeth shining as people snapped pictures. There were photographers surrounding him, and Bella couldn't help but smile at his happiness. That was what she'd always wanted for him, and it was clear he had found it on the circuit, but she couldn't help but feel like she'd missed out on all of it. That old painful sadness of their breakup tugged at her, but she shoved it away and closed the book. He'd chosen what he wanted, and there was no point in wallowing in those memories.

She put the album back on top of the stack and picked up another one. It was full of family pictures, and Bella laughed at Edward's baby and childhood pictures; she'd had the pleasure of seeing many of these the last time she'd been here. Esme had broken it out, much to Edward's chagrin, and Bella had laughed and smiled at each one. He was an adorable little boy with that same crazy mess of hair and those gorgeous blue-grey eyes, and he looked as mischievous as always. After a few more pages, she closed it and moved on to the last one in the stack.

She picked it up and smiled in surprise when she saw a picture of him and Marcus, as well as several other pictures of him with members from the rodeo team. About halfway through the album, the tone of the pictures shifted. Every picture was of her, or at least had her in it. There was a picture of them out at one of the clubs, dancing some crazy line dance; one of them snuggled on the couch, her head resting against his chest and his arm draped across her hip; another where she was leaning back against him, laughing as he buried his nose in her neck, kissing and teasing her; but the one that stood out the most was one that showed them standing on a bridge, fingers tangled together and tucked in her back pocket. She remembered that day. They had been out with Rose and one of her crazy boyfriends and had stumbled upon an old foot bridge above a creek of rushing water. Edward had tugged her across, wanting see the water even though he could have seen it from the creek bank. When they got to the center, he'd grabbed her hand, twisted his fingers with hers, and tucked them in her back pocket. Bella could see the laughter in her face and chuckled at how much she used to hate that. They had joked about that endlessly – they'd called it the back pocket love grope.

"That was one of the happiest days of my life," Edward said quietly as he leaned against the wall beside the couch.

Bella's head jerked up, startled, and she slammed the book closed. "I'm sorry… I…"

"Don't be. Those are our memories and I'm glad you found them," Edward said sincerely, moving around to look at the album with her.

Bella immediately felt the warmth of his body press against her side and the smell of the outdoors waft into the air as he shrugged off his blue corduroy jacket and dropped it onto the ground. Edward pulled the album into his own hands and flipped it open, searching for the page he'd caught her looking at. Together, they looked at the pictures, each telling bits and pieces of their story. When they reached the last page, tears welled up in Bella's eyes. She blinked furiously, trying to keep them from falling, but to no avail. As she stared at the image on the page, all the feelings she'd been holding in and muddling through spilled out.

It was the last picture they'd taken together. They'd been walking across campus on one of the few free weekends Edward had been home when Bella's friend, Marissa, had asked to take their picture for her campus life portfolio. They'd agreed, and she'd taken a few quick photos of them walking, one where Edward was carrying Bella on his back, and a few of them sitting under a tree talking and laughing. A couple days later, Marissa had sent over a cute package of them all tied together. This one had been their favorite – Bella sitting between Edward's legs while he leaned against a tree. Her hair had been down that day, and Edward had his fingers tangled in it. Bella was staring up at him, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. Edward looked at ease and so, so happy. They both did.

The resolve wavered and the confusion grew as she tried to understand how he could have walked away when the love between them was so clearly visible in this and every other picture in the album. It just didn't make sense. Bella's chest tightened, and it felt like she couldn't breathe. The tears she had been fighting won, and Edward watched as they slowly ran down her cheek.

He hated that their memories had made her cry, that seeing those pictures had triggered such an emotional response, and worst of all, that him leaving was the cause of all this pain – for both of them.

"Those were the best moments of my life, Bella," Edward said softly. "All of them… with you."

Bella froze. She knew she'd heard what he said, but she couldn't make sense of his words. How could they have been the best moments of his life… after everything he'd been through, after all he'd set out to achieve and win had actually happened? It just didn't make sense. She looked over at him and was overcome by what she saw on his face.

His grey-blue eyes were soft, and his face held so much sadness, regret. She could see how sincere he was. His jaw was set firmly, and his gaze bore into hers, reflecting a seriousness she rarely saw in him. She looked back at the picture and tried to process exactly what he'd said. "_Those were the best moments of my life." _They had been the best moments of her life… until Riley…

_Riley. _

She looked at her hand and saw the gold band on her ring finger. She hadn't thought about Riley much during the weekend, but when she had, it had always been with a twinge of guilt. It felt like she was betraying him. She knew it was irrational, but her heart couldn't seem to let go of him that easily. She felt on the verge of a major breakdown as every feeling and thought and memory collided against each other. She had to get out of there.

"But I don't understand, Edward. You… you chose to walk away."

"I didn't want to give you up, Bella. You were the one that made me choose. You were the one that issued the ultimatum. I wanted you both."

She stared at him incredulously. All the sadness, the tension, the hurt and anger, and the confusion from the weekend and the years that had passed welled up inside her.

"What are you talking about?" she spat, her eyes glinting with anger. "You were never there for me! You were always off on some ride. You had me, but you didn't act like you wanted me." Her head was shaking from side to side in confusion, and her hands were clenched by her side.

"That's not true, Bella. Did I spend a lot of time on riding and at tournaments? Yes, of course, but you act like you were the victim. We talked about that together; you were my biggest supporter, always by my side. Do you think I didn't recognize that? How many times did I tell you and show you how much it meant to have you by my side every step of the way? How many times did I tell you and show you how much I loved you… and still do?"

"This doesn't make sense! It was always about you! The one time I wanted you to do something for me, the one time I asked you to be there for me, you weren't. You chose the rodeo, not me!" Bella was seething, the anger and hurt from that day so intense, she felt like she'd been transported back to that day in their living room.

"Should I have chosen differently that day? Yes. And I wish I could go back and do it all over again. I see how much I fucked up, but that was one instance, Bella. One instance! I can't believe you are standing here questioning how I felt about you then when you know full well how you were the center of my universe. I'd give up all the success and fame to change what happened that day. But you have to accept and own the fact that you made the decision for us before I even gave you that answer!" Edward practically shouted, his voice raised and tight.

"What? You're blaming all of this on me? God, you are such an asshole! I can't believe you would even attempt to say that I made the decision for you. If you recall, you were the one that said you just 'had to do this. You had to see where it would take you, or you'd regret it for the rest of your life.' That sounds like a decision that YOU made, not me. You chose that day, Edward, and every time you chose the rodeo over me, over something I wanted to do with you, you put your own needs above my own. So, yes, I chose not to play second fiddle to something I couldn't begin to compete with."

They stood there, staring at each other, both of them breathing deeply, attempting to control the swirling tornado of emotions that had descended upon them and was threatening to destroy everything they'd shared over the weekend. As Edward stared into her murky brown eyes, his stomach churned at the way that day had left him feeling so inadequate and at a loss. He should have turned down that ride. He should have gone to that dance with her. There were a lot of things he should have done differently, but all the fault didn't lie with him.

"I chose that because I felt like I couldn't say anything else. If I had said I was going to the dance with you, it would have still been over. You had already made that decision for us, and you have to recognize your part in this, too. Could I have made different choices? Of course, but so could you."

Feeling completely overwhelmed, Bella calmly closed the book and handed it to him. Without a word, she walked to the front door, jammed her feet in a pair of his boots and walked outside. Once outside on the porch, she gulped down breaths of cool mountain air, desperately trying to calm the raging storm inside her. Bella's mind burned with questions and doubt. How had she gotten to that point? How could she have gone from enjoying her breakfast scramble and a trip down memory lane to arguing with Edward over what had happened nine years ago? How could he even think about pushing the blame on her? Even with all the air she was sucking into her lungs, she felt like she couldn't breathe. She thought back to that day, to the moment she knew he was going to go on that ride and how it had been a snap decision to force him to choose. She had hoped, for once, by throwing down the ultimatum that he would choose her. When he had chosen the rodeo, she had been stunned. Even now, she could remember the way the despair had slipped over her like a bag being pulled over her head. She'd felt like she was suffocating but unable to stop it.

Her mind went into overdrive as the haze of memories and emotions started to rain down over her. And what about the weekend they'd just shared? How was it possible that in three short days, Edward had reinstated himself in her life… without her permission… as if he'd never left? And what about everything she'd had with Riley? Would her being with Edward change what she'd had with Riley?

She had no idea her feet had moved, but by the time Bella made it to the barn, she was starting to panic. She wanted to feel the wind and cool air bite against her skin. She saw Sugar, still saddled, and without a thought, brushed her shaky fingers through her mane.

"Hey, girl," Bella said as soothingly as she could manage, her voice trembling and nervous, before climbing onto her back.

Sugar blew out a breath and shifted sideways as Bella got settled. It was almost as if she could sense Bella's unease. With another quick rub of her hand against Sugar's neck, she whispered, "I just need you to get me out of here."

Sugar acknowledged her just as Bella nudged her forward, and together they left the barn.

~*SD*~

Edward watched, horrorstruck, as Bella walked away from him, jammed her feet in his boots – an action significant but not enough to give him pause at that very moment – and walked outside. He immediately got up and walked over to the picture window that overlooked the porch and front yard. He saw her standing there, her hand on her hip as she wiped tears from her face, and all he could think was how much he needed her. He needed her like the air, and if she walked away, he knew he'd never get her back. He couldn't believe he'd pushed her like that. With every step away from him she took, he knew he had to go to her - even if she needed space - and beg for another chance. He knew all the stuff he'd chosen instead of her hadn't brought him the happiness he'd so eagerly chased after all those years. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he had put Bella second in most cases. He could try and attribute it to youthful foolishness, but that would be a lie. He was selfish. He wanted the fame and glory of being a champion. And while there was nothing like the thrill of a screaming crowd or a wild horse bucking underneath him, the rawness of being one with it, it was nothing compared to the love they'd had… love he hoped they could have again. They had to deal with this, figure out how to forgive each other for past hurts and decisions, and move on. She was everything to him, and having her with him over the past few days had solidified that fact for him.

He paced back and forth, running his fingers through his hair and tugging it mercilessly as he tried to figure out a plan for how he could make her see him – the real him – more clearly. He wasn't the selfish boy he'd been back then. He knew what it was like to live without her, to lose in the worst possible way, and he desperately wanted to prove himself to her. He wanted to make her see how important she was to him, to feel how much he needed her in his life.

The thundering sound of hooves against the ground pulled him out of his frenzied pacing and over to the window. Sugar galloped to the open field, Bella on her back, and without another thought, Edward knew it was do or die. He had to go after her.

Edward ran to the barn and grabbed Patton, a black stallion he'd just purchased, and quickly fitted him with a bridle. He looked at the saddle off to the side, but he didn't have time to waste. He practically threw himself onto the horse's back. He needed to get to Bella, and with a slightly vicious dig of his heels, Patton took off running.

~*SD*~

The cool air she'd enjoyed so much the day before clawed at her skin like a scratchy wool sweater. It was uncomfortable and annoying, but it reminded her of why she was even out. As she dug her knees into her side, Sugar raced forward while Bella clung tightly to the reins. With every pounding beat of Sugar's hooves, Bella felt her heart crack, bit by bit, until she found herself at the same stream they been at the day before, the same stream by which Edward had kissed her lovingly and told her how much he'd missed her.

None of it made sense, and yet it did. She climbed off Sugar and walked over to sit on the bank. Her head was abuzz with Edward's words. Had she really chosen for them? She knew how upset she'd been that day, almost as if she had expected him to come up with a reason not to go. Would it have mattered if he'd said he would go to the dance?

She pulled her knees into her chest, her feet planted firmly in the soft dirt of the bank. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on top of her knees and relived every minute of that conversation. She saw the heartache on his face when she issued the ultimatum, the way his eyes had dimmed in confusion and hurt, the way his body had stiffened at the unexpected resolution in her voice. She could even see herself, the way she had distanced herself, the way her shoulders had been squared, and her face a blank mask. Yes, she'd made a choice that day, but it was the only choice any self-respecting woman would have made. How could she have competed with the pure elation he felt every time he was on the back of that horse? She couldn't. And while her choice had put an end to their relationship, his choices up until that point had played a major part in her decision. She wouldn't apologize for wanting to be the priority in his life, but looking back, he was right. She should have talked to him about how she'd felt, and she could apologize for that.

But what about Riley? Did it change what they'd had? He had fixed the broken heart she'd carried around after Edward, made her feel like a new, better version of herself.

_~*Eight Years Earlier*~_

"_Bella, baby, I know what he did to you. I know how he hurt you, but I will never do that. You are the most important thing in my life, and if I have to spend every day proving it because of what he did, I will," Riley said emphatically as he squeezed her hand._

_Bella stared at him, feeling her heart ache in confusion and soar with a love she'd never experienced. He was not Edward. He was Riley, and he was perfect – kind and handsome, gentle and considerate. He put her needs and wants above his own. He'd always done that. He made her feel loved and cherished, like she was everything to him, a feeling that was new but welcome._

_Feeling blissfully overwhelmed, she blinked back tears, knowing if he said another word she would cry, and squeezed his hand in return._

"_I love you, Riley," Bella whispered, barely able to get the words out before she leaned forward and kissed him._

_It was slow and tender but carried a hunger they were both desperate to feed. _

"_I love you, too, baby," he murmured against her lips. That was the first night they made love, and the day she realized he was everything she needed._

A wave of nausea flooded through her, and she scrambled to the edge of the stream and heaved the contents of her breakfast, bits of pain and bile into the water. She missed him. God, did she miss him. She sat there reliving their six years together in her head, hunched over the bank, dirt and sticks digging into her palms, until she was sure nothing else was going to come up.

Eventually, she curled back into herself, her knees to her chest, and stared out at the mountains that had been a source of peace and happiness for her over the last few days. Her fingers linked together, and she felt the hard metal of her wedding ring press into her skin. She stared down at it, her fingers twisting and sliding it over her knuckle. Riley had loved her, so deeply, and he had made her feel complete. She missed his smile, his laugh, his eyes, the way he knew her body in all the right and wrong ways. She thought back to one of the many conversations they'd had on their couch, glasses of wine in hand, and how he had told her that he always wanted her to be happy.

_~*Six Years Earlier*~_

"_You know I want you to be happy, always, baby," Riley said seriously._

"_Well come over here, Ri, and make me happy," Bella smirked, knowing he'd pick up on her mood by her suggestive tone. _

_He laughed and set his glass of wine on the table before doing the same with hers. He reached for her, pulling her onto his lap and kissing her, his tongue teasing and his lips nipping playfully. _

"_Oh, we'll get to that," he breathed against her ear, "but I want to tell you something first."_

_Bella looked at him, her face flushed, her lips pink and swollen, and her eyes dark and needy. "Mhmmm," she hummed as she placed her own kisses against his scratchy jaw._

_He pulled back to stare at her, waiting until she met his eyes. _

"_What is it, Ri? You're so serious all of a sudden." Bella's brow furrowed, and Riley, not wanting to worry her or to see those little creases form, brushed his thumb across her forehead to smooth them out._

"_I just love you so much, baby. I've been thinking about it all day, and I wanted to make sure you knew it."_

_Any fear or concern Bella might have had at the tone of his voice melted away instantly. She smiled brightly and touched her lips to his again. _

"_I love you. And yes, I do know you love me… always."_

"_Good," he said with a warm, adoring smile. "Now, let's get back to me making you happy," he said waggling his eyebrows._

She smiled at the memory and remembered how they'd spent the rest of the night making slow, passionate love. As she sat there, she knew Riley had meant every word, and he'd shown her every day how special and loved she really was.

He had always wanted her to be happy. He had put her happiness even before his own, and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would want her to be happy even though he was gone. Did that mean even with Edward? He knew what Edward had done to her, but in light of the realizations she'd made, she knew Riley would want her to do what made her feel happy and whole and full. He would want her to love again, to fight for second chances.

Was that what this was? Did she love Edward? It was certainly different than what she'd felt for Riley and different even from what she'd felt for Edward back then, but she couldn't deny how he made her body shiver just by looking at her or the way her heart clenched with every smile. He knew her. He hadn't pushed; he'd waited until she was ready and then said what needed to be said.

Feeling stiff, she stood up and took a deep breath. She looked around, loving the slice of heaven she'd found at the ranch, and she realized what was really bothering her. Would Edward put her second again? He'd spent the last three years pouring himself into fixing up the ranch. Would it come first, be the new "rodeo" in his life? Could she trust him with her heart again?

Sugar stood staring at her with her large brown eyes and Bella walked over to her, pressing her face into the warm, coarse hair beside the saddle.

"I don't know what to do, Sugar," Bella murmured.

Sugar whinnied softly and shifted slowly. Bella pulled back and watched as she nuzzled her nose against Bella's shoulder. She was warm and strong, and somehow Bella knew Edward was serious. Deep inside, she knew he'd always loved her, and the last few days had shown her how different he really was. She looked down at her hands and the ring that was still wrapped around her finger. She knew if she was going to give Edward a chance… if she was going to really open herself up to a new relationship, it meant she had to say goodbye to Riley. Her heart cracked again, but she knew it wasn't goodbye. What they'd shared was special, her own personal treasure, and had made her who she was. She ran her thumb and fingers across the smooth metal and slowly pulled it off.

Tears streamed down her face as she tucked the ring into her pocket until she could put it away for good.

Sugar nudged her in an attempt, it seemed, to comfort her as the tears continued to fall. The subtle movement and warmth was tender and intimate, and even though things weren't perfectly clear, she knew she needed to give Edward a chance.

Feeling raw and exposed, Bella wrapped her hand around Sugar's neck and leaned her head against her neck. "Thank you," she whispered.

~*SD*~

::Hides in the barn:: Don't hate. Only love.


	10. Chapter 10

Seeing Daylight

**~*Chapter 10*~**

Patton tore through the field and Edward clung to the reins for dear life. It had been a long time since he'd barebacked a horse. It was thrilling and intense, and as Patton turned, Edward's thighs tightened their grip. He scanned the horizon looking for Bella, but she was nowhere to be seen. With a holler, he nudged Patton to move faster, and as he climbed the hill in front of him, he prayed he'd see her. While she'd explored a large part of the ranch with him, she could easily get lost, and it would take time to find her if he wasn't careful.

At the crest of the hill, Edward pulled Patton's reins, slowing him to a trot. His heart was thundering and his chest was heaving as if had been the one running. He looked out across the open plains and finally spotted her. She was standing near the stream, leaning against Sugar. A sense of relief washed over him at having found her.

He rubbed Patton's neck, thanking him for getting him to that point, and with a whisper, urged him forward. Together, they made their way to Bella, the cool air washing over him. He silently cursed himself for leaving his coat and hat. He wondered how Bella was doing; he knew she'd only been wearing a thin shirt when she ran out.

As he neared the trees, Patton slowed down, waiting for Edward's instruction. Together, they weaved in and out of the trees until they came to the clearing and the creek. Bella stood there, one hand tucked in her jeans pocket, the other gripping Sugar's bridle as her forehead pressed against her side. Edward could see her shoulders shaking, and without another thought he jumped down and ran over to her.

Bella knew it was him before she felt strong warm arms wrap around her. She was a mess. Her hair had come loose from the ponytail she'd hastily tied earlier that morning, her eyes were red, and her cheeks tear-stained. The cold, biting air had felt good, cathartic, against her unprotected skin, but as Edward rubbed his hands up and down her back and arms trying to warm her, Bella shivered violently. His fingers wrapped around her arm and turned her toward him, but Bella couldn't look at him. Instead, she buried her face against his chest and breathed him in, relishing the comforting she had come to associate with him. This was Edward; it always had been, and God, she'd missed him, his arms, his touch, the way he comforted her even in his own heartache.

Tears started to fall again as she tried to reconcile all the crazy feelings swirling around in her head. This felt so right, perfect even, and she never wanted to pull away from him again. She'd missed him so much. She untucked her arms and wrapped them around his waist, drawing them both closer, tighter to each other.

Every nerve in his body came alive as her fingers dug into his back. He knew the movement wasn't meant to be sexual, and it wasn't. But damn, it felt so perfect. He took in every little movement – the way her legs swayed unsteadily as they stood there bound together, the harshness of her breath as she tried to get her tears under control, and the way she smelled – sweet and fresh, like the Bella that had haunted him since the moment she'd shown up on his front porch. He closed his eyes and pressed tiny kisses to the top of her head, trying to soothe her, to let her know he was there, that he wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," she finally mumbled after her tears had dried and her breathing had evened out. Her voice was quiet and riddled with brokenness, and Edward hated it. He hated what had happened between them all those years ago, but he hated seeing her like this even more.

"Shhhh, Bunny. It's going to be okay."

She tightened her grip on his waist and nodded her head, her nose digging softly into his chest.

Feeling a modicum of courage at what was happening, he decided to go for it, to pour out everything he'd been feeling and had been too scared to say.

"It's always been you, Bella," he breathed against her temple. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, for not choosing you… it was the worst decision I've ever made, the one thing I truly regret."

She tipped her head back a little so she could see him and felt her breath catch at the truth in his eyes.

"Please give me a chance to make it right, Bella. I want to be with you. I want another chance…" He trailed off, his eyes dropping to the ground, unsure how she'd respond but praying she'd say yes. Yes, she'd give him another chance. Yes, she'd forgive him and that she wanted this as much as he did.

A million emotions passed through her, but the only thing she could think was how amazing it felt to be wrapped in his arms, how his warmth was reinvigorating and healing her heart. She looked up at him and the need to kiss him, to feel the truth on his lips – in word and action – pushed her to pull him closer to her.

As if he read her mind, Edward licked his lips and dipped his head down, gently brushing his lips against hers. He watched her the entire time, his steel-blue eyes locked on hers to make sure she really wanted this. When her eyes fluttered closed, he pulled her closer, their bodies practically one, and deepened their kiss. He dragged his tongue across her bottom lip and nudged her mouth open. Her tongue met his, and they tangled together as if the years had never passed them by. It was familiar and perfect and exactly what she needed.

His fingers found their way into her thick brown locks and then down her back and up again as she pressed for more. Their kiss was demanding and full of need and want as teeth and tongue and lips moved together – forcefully and then softly – over and over again.

The air between them was intense and thick as Edward broke their kiss to trail his lips across her cheek, along her jaw, nipping and tasting, reacquainting himself with the taste and feel of her skin. She hummed in acceptance, every nerve ending in her body alive and burning like fire. She gasped as his lips found the soft spot behind her ear he knew used to drive her insane with need, her neck, and to the bit of her collarbone peeking through the open button of her shirt. He made a slow circuit up and down her neck, along her jaw, until she turned and gripped his face in her hands.

"I want to be with you, Edward." Her words were full of meaning, and the golden flecks in her eyes, bright and alive, told him the story he'd longed to hear since she'd walked back into his life.

The air around them was electric with their unspoken need. His eyes, dark with hunger and want, reflected the dark chocolate yearning in her own as she kissed him with a force and hunger that only came after years of separation and hurt. Years of pent up anger and frustration, sadness and longing, desperation and love, poured out as her lips melded with his and their tongues slid against each other. Edward responded, taking what she gave and pouring everything he had right back into her.

They stood there, bodies pressed together, hard against soft, while their hands roamed, touched, and rememorized all the places they had once known so intimately.

"Bella," Edward barely managed to say, his voice breaking under the intensity of the moment. He had to be absolutely certain she wanted him, that the intensity of what they'd just shared was truly okay.

She could see the questions in his eyes, and with a certainty she hadn't felt in a long time, she whispered, "I need you, Edward." As if reinforcing her statement, Bella brushed her lips against the hot skin on his neck and then reclaimed his lips in a slow, languid kiss.

God, he wanted to her, and it was a miracle she wanted him just as much. He wanted to prove she was all that mattered to him; she was all he'd ever need. But making love to her on the cold hard ground, out in the open wasn't how he imagined their first time again together.

"Not here, baby," her murmured as he pulled her toward Patton. He wanted this to be special. He wanted her to see and feel and know beyond a shadow of a doubt how he felt about her and what they could be together. He also knew that he didn't want to be away from her, and with Sugar's saddle, it would make for a very uncomfortable ride for two.

With a whimper of disappointment, Bella allowed herself to be pulled and then lifted onto the bare back of a horse she'd never seen. She looked questioningly at Edward, but when he grabbed Sugar's reins and led her over to where Bella and Patton waited, she understood. Edward pulled himself onto Patton's back, situating himself behind Bella so she could lean against his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, and they slowly made their way back to the barn, Patton and Sugar walking without their guidance. They rode in a comfortable silence, no longer in a hurry to rush back but content to savor the closeness – back to chest - in which they found themselves.

Their fingers were loosely linked and wrapped around the reins as Bella snuggled into the warmth of his embrace. Every once in a while, Edward would press a kiss against her neck and shoulder, but mostly, they relished the connection of finally being close. Bella felt safe and truly happy for the first time since Riley died. She had never been one to rely on a man to help her find the meaning of life, but there was something amazing about being fully enveloped in someone's arms. What a twist of fate and circumstance the weekend had been – bringing her back to Edward in a way she could never have imagined. Things weren't perfect, and they had a lot to learn and make up for, but it was right.

As they rode across the open field and neared the paddock, Edward leaned his head down and brushed his lips down the curve of Bella's jaw. Her head lolled back against his shoulder, giving him better access to trail wet kisses against her peaches and cream skin. Her eyes closed and she moaned softly. She didn't think; she didn't care about how uncomfortable she'd grown sitting on the horse's back with no padding. She was lost in the feel of his hard chest pressed against her back, the way his hips, pelvis, and very obvious erection rolled against her butt with every step the horse took, or the soft brush of his lips against hers. It was enough to drive her mad with want, and by the time they arrived back at the barn, Bella wanted nothing more than to get off that horse and have Edward to herself.

"We're here," Edward said as Patton and Sugar stopped just outside the barn.

"I thought we'd never make it home," she practically blurted out. The fact she'd called Edward's house "home" didn't faze her, but hearing it fall from her lips sent a shiver of delight and fire burning through his heart.

With a newfound sense of urgency, Edward slid off Patton and pulled Bella down with him. She turned to look at him, her eyes heavy and lust-filled, and he roughly pulled her face to his and kissed her, hard. It was a kiss that screamed "I need you," and "I want you," and a million other thoughts he'd been harboring since they started back home. Breathless and in desperate need of air, they pulled apart, panting.

A knowing look. A flirty smile. Two sets of wandering hands and a few more stolen kisses was all it took to spur Edward to action. He quickly unsaddled Sugar and removed the bridles from both of them. Two buckets of oats and a fork full of hay would be enough to tide them over until Edward could get back out there later… much later.

~*SD*~

Bella lay curled against Edward, chest to chest with their legs tangled together easily. The urgency they'd felt by the creek had died down and was replaced with a quiet intimacy only two people who had loved and lost could know.

Edward ran his fingers lazily through Bella's hair, relishing the silky softness of it before placing a tender kiss against her temple. She sighed contentedly, snuggling a little closer, and smiled at what they'd just done. After Edward had hurriedly taken care of the horses, they had practically run to get inside the house. Hungry kisses, loving gropes, and a short-lived bout of teasing had left them desperate and frantic.

"_You are so beautiful," he whispered as he raked his lips across her collarbones and the curve of her shoulder. _

_She could feel the burn of his touch on her swollen lips, in the tightening of her rosy peaks, and in the hot, wet flesh between her legs. Bella moaned softly as his fingers trailed along the outside of her thigh, hitching it over his hip as his lips wrapped around her nipple. Her body, already flushed the most gorgeous shade of pink, writhed against his, and her hands found his hair. She tugged and pulled, lost in the sensation of his fingers teasing and his tongue swirling against her tender skin. _

"_Edward," Bella cried as a jolt of lightening coursed through her. Her hips lifted, searching desperately for the friction only his hard body could provide. He shifted away, his body hovering above her just out of reach as he continued his ministrations, content to take his time savoring every inch of her. He wanted her to know how much he cherished her, and he planned to make her as desperate and hungry for him as he was for her. _

"_Tell me what you want, Bella. I'll do anything," he murmured as he trailed open-mouthed kisses across her breasts and then slowly down the smooth skin of her stomach to the dip of her belly button. His tongue swirled inside, and her body arched up again. _

_Bella groaned, her body on fire from the lazy path Edward continued to make. She was mad with want and need, her body responding to every touch as if she was made for him and him alone. _

_He waited, sucking and circling his tongue against her hip bone, enjoying the way she squirmed, crazy for more. He could smell the sweet scent of her perfume, the hints of sweat and earth from their ride, and something uniquely Bella. Memories of them together crashed all around him, and he felt his own body, already hard and aching for her, tighten impossibly more._

"_Tell me," he said again, his voice deep and gravelly. Her hooded eyes met his, molten chocolate to steel blue, and she leaned forward, her body finally pressing against his as she sat up and hungrily claimed his lips. _

"_I want you, Edward," she hummed before sucking his bottom lip between hers. As his mouth opened up to her, her tongue tangled with his, telling and showing and begging him in ways words couldn't share._

_The low burning fire that had slowly been building inside him ignited, and he pulled her into his lap, her legs wrapping around his waist. His hard erection pressed against her swollen flesh, and they both gasped at the sudden change in sensation._

"_Please," she whimpered as he nipped and licked at her neck before trailing his hands down her back to cup her ass. Her skin was firm and supple, and as his fingers dug into her, she cried out in pleasure._

_Bella's breasts pressed against Edward's chest, and he lost himself in the sensation of her hard peaks against his muscled body. She was just like he remembered, but better. The more she moved and ground against him, the more frantic his own movements became._

_The sounds of breathy gasps, rumpling bed sheets, and wet kisses filled the air, a symphony of their passion playing out to the tune of their bodies joining. _

"_I want to be inside you," he murmured as he shifted back just enough to suck on her breasts._

_His breathing became more erratic, and guttural groans fell from his lips as everything – her scent and sounds - swirled around him._

"_Yes," she hissed. Her head lolled to the side, and her hair fell in waves down her back._

_He pushed her down onto the bed, her legs never unlocking from around his waist. As she continued to grind against his hip – soft against hard - Edward fumbled around in his nightstand until he found a condom and quickly rolled it on. _

_Bella watched, her eyes barely open and a small smile playing at her lips, as Edward came back to hover above her, his forearms on either side of her head. She loved the vulnerable and wanting look on his face, the one that said I need you and I adore you._

_As he stared down at her, the smile on her face made his heart explode. He was completely overwhelmed by how lucky he was to have been given another chance to be with the woman he had always loved. With a nuzzle of his nose against her cheek, he kissed her softly, reverently, and pushed inside her. They both cried out at the sensation of finally being together, a feeling so unexpected yet familiar it was like time had rewound and they were in their bed at school. _

_Soft whimpers and moans, grunts and groans, and cries of worship and adoration fell from their lips as they moved together. With every thrust, every rock, they climbed higher and higher until they both fell hard and fast together into a loud abyss of satiated bliss. _

_Exhausted, Edward fell beside her, pulling her on top of him. Her body was so warm and beautifully flushed. At some point he'd pulled her hair from its band and it was hanging in a messy curtain of soft curls around her face. He loved seeing her like this, vulnerable and open, eyes bright and full of happiness. His blue eyes traced every inch of her face, memorizing every detail, locking away the memory of this reunion. As his fingers laced with hers, he noticed her ring was gone. In the heat of the moment, he hadn't realized it was missing. When had she taken it off? Did that mean she was ready to let Riley go? So many questions and thoughts swirled in his head – how he wanted her to stay, how empty this place would feel without her, how he loved her and couldn't imagine his life without her. _

"_When did you take your ring off?" Edward asked hesitantly. He didn't want to ruin the moment, but he wanted to make sure her heart was really available for the taking before he said more._

_Bella tugged her fingers loose from his and ran her thumb across the white indention her ring had made from years of wear. "Before you arrived… at the creek," she said simply as she feathered tender kisses against his chest and jaw and lips. _

_Edward's head reeled with that information. Was that why she had been crying? Were they tears of sadness, regret, relief? But as the fog of questions cleared, he realized she was there with him. They'd made love, and it was Bella who continued touching him in ways that made him feel crazy all over again. A sense of reassurance filled his soul. She was telling him it was okay, even though she couldn't with words. This time, his words would bring healing, instead of tearing them apart like they'd done years before. _

_He brushed the backs of his fingers against her cheek in a gesture so achingly sweet that Bella felt her heart start to pound. She had seen that look before. She knew what he was thinking, and the realization that she wasn't scared to hear it was all the reinforcement she needed. She leaned into his touch as her eyes drifted to meet his and smiled lazily._

"_I love you, Bella," Edward said, puncturing the quiet rustling of bed sheets. "You don't have to say anything, but I can't let you leave without knowing exactly how I feel. You are everything I want and need in my life, and I want you to be a part of it here with me at the ranch. I'm asking for another chance… a chance to prove we can work and be great together."_

_After the words were out, he felt a knot form in his chest and throat. As he waited for a sign, something from her, he couldn't help but look into her gorgeous brown eyes. What he saw took his breath away. She was grinning, a full toothed, lips parted smile, and she was utterly beautiful. "I love you, too, Edward. I always have. I'm ready to give this," she said, pausing to touch his chest with her fingertips, "us, a chance. After being here with you this weekend, I can't imagine what life will be like back home, but I'm ready to start again… with you."_

_Pure unadulterated glee filled Edward's soul and his arms tightened around her back, pulling her into a bone crushing hug._

"_Unless you squeeze me to death," Bella grunted._

"_Oh, sorry," he said, loosening his grip. "You don't know how happy you've just made me, Bella. I…" he trailed off, his voice thick and his eyes wet with unshed tears._

"_Hey," she cooed softly. "I know, baby."_

_Her arm wrapped around his waist as she pulled him closer. The moment they'd just shared was too intense, too emotional after all the years, and they needed the reassurance of each other's touch to heal and love again. Their lazy caresses turned into heated touches, whispered promises, and hungry kisses until they found themselves completely lost in each other once again._

"What time is it?" Bella asked, twisting her body to see the clock sitting on Edward's nightstand. She groaned when she realized it was late in the afternoon. "We need to get up, baby. I have to go get my car."

Edward rolled onto his back and groaned. "I don't want you to leave," he whined, looking over at her with the most pitiful look she'd ever seen.

"I know. I don't want to, either, but I have a life in Green River that didn't disappear because of this weekend."

His lips curled downward as he pouted. "That still doesn't mean I have to like it," he huffed, sitting up in bed.

"Hey," she said softly, "we'll just have to figure this out, okay?"

He leaned over and kissed her sweetly before tugging her up off the bed. "Come on, naked lady, let's go get your car."

~*SD*~

The drive to Harry's Body Shop was quiet. Both Edward and Bella were lost in their thoughts. Their locked fingers were the only visible sign that things between them had changed, but on the inside, they were both full to the brim with love and happiness. What a turn of events the weekend had been. Neither had expected things to end like they had, least of all Bella, but as she looked at Edward's profile, she knew it was just right.

He glanced over at her and smiled. "So… how are we going to do this?" The thought of her leaving and worse, being over three hours away, was worse than riding the most vicious bronc.

She shrugged. "I guess we take turns visiting, talk on the phone and stuff…" she said, trailing off. The idea of distance and more absence after finally coming back together wasn't what she'd imagined for herself. And yet, she knew she would do whatever it took to make it work, even if it meant moving out there. It was certainly premature to have that conversation, much less those thoughts, but she knew she would willingly leave her job at the bank if she had a better option.

"Yeah, I guess that'll have to do for now. Can I come see you this weekend?" he asked hopefully.

Bella grinned and laughed. "Of course. I can introduce you to my friends, and you can say hi to Rose."

Edward's eyes widened and he practically gulped. "Right," he said, dragging it out.

Bella laughed. "Yeah, I can't wait to see the look on her face when I tell her and Jane about us. That'll definitely be interesting."

"Yeah, I'm sure Rose will love that. She probably still hates my guts, doesn't she?"

"Well, I wouldn't say hate, per se, but she definitely has strong feelings."

A look of sadness passed quickly over Edward's face, and Bella knew he was thinking about what had happened between them. Before she could say anything, he pressed his fingers against her lips.

"Bella," Edward said, pulling back just enough to wait for her to look up at him. "I hope you know how serious I was this morning. I meant everything I said. I am sorry for letting you go, for giving up on us. I hate what I did to you, how much I hurt you. I saw it on your face the day I broke up with you. I was just too dense to realize what I was actually doing," he paused and breathed a sad sigh.

"And I saw it again today, when we were looking at the pictures. It kills me that I hurt you like that. I wish I could go back and do everything differently, but I can't… and I'm not sure I would fully understand how amazing you truly are without having lived without you. I know what I gave up… and I know it wasn't worth it." Edward's voice softened immeasurably as he practically whispered the last few words.

The need to cement that moment in time, to reinforce exactly what he was saying once again, filled him to overflowing. He trailed his fingers across her now damp cheek and felt her shiver as he leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was slow and tender, designed to communicate the depths of his love for her. His tongue moved languidly against hers, tasting, savoring, relishing the sweetness of her mouth. He pulled her closer, ignoring the stick shift in the middle of the floor, and she complied, pressing her body closer to his as she deepened their kiss. She leaned her head ever so slightly to the side, slid her hands up to cup his sharp, slightly stubbly jaw, and gently tangled her tongue against his.

The longer they kissed, the more her heart swelled. His words looped through her head, a healing salve to her soul.

"There's nothing to forgive, Edward. We both made choices, and we both lived our lives. Like you said, I don't think we would be where we are if we had stayed together."

As the words fell from her lips, she knew they were true. She was a different person than she'd been when he left. In the years since they'd been apart, she had grown and matured in many ways. With a very satisfied sigh, Bella looked over at Edward. "I love you, Edward, and I know we'll figure all this out."

He lifted his hand and tenderly brushed his knuckles across her cheekbone before tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. He let his fingers linger, reveling in the softness of her hair and enjoying the way the late afternoon sun streaming through the truck windows highlighted the reds in it.

"Thank you," he said finally. "I love you, too."

A few tender kisses later, they finally got out of the car. Bella paid the bill for her car while Edward waited next to it.

"Alright, well… I guess I'll see you on Friday then…" Bella said as she opened the door of her car.

"Yes, Friday."

Neither of them could help the laughter that ensued as they relived the phone conversation they'd had just one week ago. Instead of fumbling statements and awkward pauses, they said their goodbyes with lingering kisses and a long hug.

_Friday. It couldn't come soon enough._

~*SD*~

I am blown away by your lovely reviews and kind words! Thanks for pimpin' out this story on The Wayward Pushers and twitter. I have been grinning since I posted Chapter 1! Thank you! Ok, we've got one more to go after this one... I gave you lemons... now leave me some love please! More to come! hehe_  
_


	11. Chapter 11

Seeing Daylight

**~*Epilogue*~**

_May, Seven Months Later_

"Bella, are you ready?" Rose called out as she moved through the house.

"Yeah, just packing up my toiletries."

Rose walked into Bella's bathroom and watched her best friend pack up the last bit of her stuff. She couldn't believe the way things had changed over the last few months. When Bella had come home from Edward's place last October, Rose had been shocked to hear how everything between them had changed. She still couldn't believe Edward had apologized and asked Bella for a second chance, and what's more, she couldn't fathom how Bella had agreed and offered her own apology. Rose initially wasn't happy with that turn of events, but as the months passed by, she saw how happy Bella was _and_ how much Edward had changed.

Bella walked around the corner with the last of her things, a big smile gracing her face. She was going to miss her friend immensely, and she had no idea how she'd get along without their regular girls' nights out. It would be weird to make plans formally, but they'd been friends forever, and a measly three hour drive wouldn't be enough to keep them apart.

"Alright," Bella said, grabbing the handle of her suitcase and walking towards the front door. I want to load this stuff in the truck and make a final pass through the house. Meet me outside?"

"Yep! And here, let me take those things. I'll put them in the truck, so you can have a minute."

Bella handed her things to Rose and waited for her to walk out the door, thankful Rose understood how hard it was to say goodbye to her home. She stood there, staring at the bare walls, shiny hardwood floors, and the indents in the cream carpet where the furniture had been. She slowly walked from room to room, images of Riley and the very happy five years they'd spent there danced before her like a movie. Everything was in slow motion, almost like it was meant for her to replay and appreciate every scene of their lives together.

Her fingers trailed along the banister of the staircase as she made her way down the hallway to their room. Standing in the doorway, the tears that had been threatening to fall all morning filled her eyes and trickled down her face. She missed him so much, and being there, in their space, had always been a comfort to her. And yet, she knew Riley would want her to move on, to live and love and find happiness again. She thought back to the feeling of reassurance she had gotten a couple of months ago when she went to visit his grave.

_~*January*~_

_Bella stood at the foot of his grave, her arms clenched tightly around her. As she stared at the gold letters etched in the hard, black marble, her heart panged like it always did when she went there. _

_Riley Peter Biers  
January 3, 1979 – January 22, 2007  
Beloved Husband and Friend  
_

_Beloved Husband. Indeed he was, and he had been her best friend. She missed him so much. She missed his laugh, the way his fingers curled around hers at the movies and how he huffed in annoyance when the armrest between them wouldn't raise up, or the way he listened to her talk about her day or whatever was on her mind. Her life had been lonely without him._

_She pulled out the old flowers that were still in the vase beside the stone and placed the new ones inside. Fluffing them and making sure they looked right, Bella stepped back and smiled. She lovingly traced her fingers across the top, feeling the cold granite sloping gently beneath her fingertips. _

"_Hey, Ri," she said sadly. "Sorry it's been a while since I've been here. Things have been… well, they've been interesting. Truthfully, interesting isn't even the right word. More like ironic. You're never going to believe who I ran into. Seriously, Ri, you'll never guess."_

_Bella chuckled in that nervous awkward way people often do when they're uncomfortable._

"_Edward Masen. Yes, _the_ Edward Masen I dated in college. I did an assessment of his ranch up in Jackson Hole, and on the second visit, my car broke down. Trust me, I was pissed. That stupid Volvo…"_

_Bella paused. She could feel her chest starting to tighten. She knew she needed to tell him, but standing before him felt more like a confession, and she hated that. It had never been like that between them. They had never had secrets. Her relationship with Edward was hovering over them, and the fact it was still unspoken made it seem like she was engaging in some sort of illicit behavior, even though she knew that was ridiculous._

_She shifted a little and then sat down on the winter-hardened ground. Old leaves crunched beneath her as she got comfortable. The wool of her coat provided a bit of protection, but she knew she wouldn't be able to stay there long. _

"_He asked me to marry him at Christmas, and I said yes. I know it sounds crazy, especially since we just got back together, but something just felt right about it, Ri… But sitting here with you, I feel conflicted, and I hate it. I know you wouldn't want that for me. I know we talked about what we wanted for the other person if something were to happen to either of us, and I'm trying to finally do what you said. I'm living; I really am. I feel so alive for the first time since you died, and it just feels so damn good._

"_I know what you're probably thinking, but Edward isn't the same person he used to be. He's grown up, matured, found his place in the world. He owns a ranch… I said that already. And it's really beautiful. You would love it. There are mountains and trees, horses and tons of open space to ride. Yeah, yeah, I know you don't like riding horses, but I do."_

_A giggle burst forth from inside her, and she couldn't help but feel some of the tension dissipate. A sense of relief washed over her, almost as though he was trying to ease her mind and reassure her he was happy for her. It was like he was there, pushing away all the discomfort and craziness, just like he always had. A small smile pulled at the corners of Bella's lips at how much better, more like herself, she felt. Everything felt brighter, more vibrant, and she attributed that to knowing where she would spend the rest of her life and with whom._

_Bella sat there, relishing the silence and the calm, until she started shivering._

_She stood up and kneeled down in front of his stone, not caring if the knees of her jeans got dirty. She trailed her index finger across the gold letters of his name, knowing that a part of him would always be with her._

"_Thank you. Thank you for loving me, for helping me find myself again, and for being my best friend. I love you, Ri… always."_

She swiped the tears away from her face, feeling a sense of warmth and peace surrounded her. It was the same feeling she'd felt the day she'd visited him, and she knew it was his way, once again, of telling her to go be happy, to love again.

With one last glance into their bedroom, she smiled, whispered goodbye, and pulled the door closed.

When she walked outside, she saw Rose standing beside the moving truck, waiting. She stared at her best friend and wondered how she was going to live without her just around the corner.

"You ready?" Rose asked quietly.

Bella nodded as the tears started to fall from her eyes again. "I'm going to miss you so much, Rose," Bella said softly, pulling Rose into a tight hug.

"Oh, please," Rose mock scoffed. "You're going to be so busy getting busy with Edward…"

"Rose!" Bella screeched, her face flaming pink as she pushed Rose away playfully.

Nonplussed, Rose continued to tease her. "Watching him move on top of those horses..."

"Oh my God!"

"That boy knows how to ride 'em hard."

"I'm not even going to respond to that statement. Just… no."

The both dissolved into a fit of giggles.

When they'd both straightened up, Bella glanced at her watch and realized she really needed to get on the road if she wanted to make it before dark.

"I guess I should probably get on it, then," she said with a smirk.

"Yeah, you should." They both burst into laughter again, loving the insinuations and silliness they always found together.

"I love you, Bella."

"Love you, too, Rosie. Thank you so much. For everything. Promise you'll call?"

A nod and smile was all the confirmation Bella needed before she climbed into the cab of the truck and started it up. The heavy diesel engine roared to life, and they both laughed again. After much conversation, Edward and Rose had finally given in to Bella's desire to make the drive on her own. Edward had come up the day before to help load things into the truck, not wanting her or Rose to lift all the boxes on their own. He'd returned to the ranch late that night to finish preparing for Bella's arrival.

With a few more words, they waved goodbye. As Bella drove down the streets of Green River, it felt like a chapter in her life was coming to an end, and she was okay with that. She was ready to start a new one with Edward.

After she'd given notice at the bank and a conversation with her boss that had gone surprisingly well, it felt like all the pieces naturally fell into place. She'd found a buyer for the house, a young couple just starting off, and they had closed in a matter of weeks. She felt good about passing on the home she'd known such happiness in to a family that was just at the beginning of their own journey.

The drive passed quickly. Bella found herself lost in thought as she tried to figure out how her life had gone from being empty to so full in seven short months. How had that happened? How had Edward come into her life and changed her broken, untrusting heart into what it had become? She flashed through the memories that flooded her mind like a movie, scene by scene they filled in the details of their story.

_~*Early November*~_

"_So, this is your house, huh?" Edward said as he stood in the entry way. He had just spent the last ten minutes with his mouth and lips connected to Bella's, tasting, savoring, and relearning the way she felt against him after being apart for a week. _

"_This is it," she said proudly. "Come on, I'll show you around."_

_Bella walked him from room to room, giving him a chance to take in all the details of her life that he'd missed while he'd been on the circuit. He could see how happy she was, how happy Riley had made her, and he felt the familiar guilt and sadness over what he'd given up but also a new excitement and hope at what was to come. _

_As his hand locked with hers, he realized how lucky he truly was. She was giving him a second chance, and this time, he wouldn't fuck it up._

_The rest of the tour went by quickly, and it wasn't until later that night when they were about to go to bed that things became awkward. After coaxing Bella to finally talk about what was bothering her, she'd explained how she felt uncomfortable with Edward sleeping in her room. That was the space she'd shared with Riley, and it felt wrong to have Edward in there._

_Edward, sad and embarrassed, quickly offered to sleep in the guest bedroom. _

"_Really? You don't mind?" Bella asked, her eyes hopeful._

"_If it makes you feel better, then of course I'll sleep in there." He hoped he had hidden the disappointment he felt at having to sleep alone, but much to his surprise, Bella grabbed his hand and pulled him into the room._

"_Make yourself at home. I'm just going to get my sleep clothes, and I'll be right back."_

"_What?" Edward asked confused._

"_My sleep clothes," she stated simply, staring back at him with her own confused expression. "I'm going to get them, so we can go to bed." _

"_But, I thought…"_

"_Wait," Bella said, laughing nervously. "You didn't think I meant you had to sleep in here by yourself, did you?"_

_Edward looked down sheepishly, embarrassed once again._

"_I wouldn't do that, Edward. We're together. I just thought it would be weird to sleep in the same bed I shared with Riley." Bella walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, loving the way she could feel his muscles under his shirt. "I want to sleep with you, Edward."_

_She tried to keep a straight face, but she couldn't. The smirk that had formed on his face at his recognition of her double entendre had them both laughing again, the tension completely gone._

After that weekend, things had just gotten easier. The little misunderstandings grew fewer and farther between. After that weekend, they both decided to be more open and honest and to ask when something didn't make sense. It was clear they were in it for the long haul, and quibbling or discomfort over the little stuff was just unnecessary.

She looked at the beautiful scenery that was surrounding her and felt the urge to roll down the window. She needed some air, and she breathed it in deeply. Pine and evergreen. That was what her new home would smell like, and she already loved it. It reminded her of Christmas.

_~*December*~_

"_This tree is massive, Edward. Are you sure it's going to fit?" Bella asked as she stared at the felled tree in the front yard._

"_Of course it'll fit," he said, a cocky smirk on his face. _

"_Shut it." Bella rolled her eyes and smacked his arm. Ever since they'd gotten back together, Edward had been full of playful innuendo, much like he'd been when they were together in college. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed it, but she couldn't deny she loved seeing him that comfortable and carefree with her. It just reassured her, not that she needed it, how real their relationship really was._

_He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You know you love me," he said and pressed a hot, needy kiss against her lips. She leaned into him, humming at the feel of his tongue wrapped around hers, until he pulled back, grabbed the tree, and carried it into the house._

_Yes, she definitely did. _

_A few hours, a ton of pine needles in her hair and down her shirt, and a hot shower later, Bella sat with her back against Edward's chest, comfortably warm and so happy. The white lights on the tree twinkled merrily, making the red, gold, and silver ornaments sparkle, and a fire roared in the fireplace. It was exactly what Christmas Eve should be – relaxing and spent with the person you loved._

_Christmas morning arrived with bright rays of sunshine and warmth streaming in the windows. Bella rolled over to face a still sleeping Edward. She watched the rise and fall of his chest and felt the familiar pull of wanting to be near him. She snuggled up against him, pressing her body tightly against his, loving the way their bodies fit together in new but comfortably familiar ways._

_He shifted and his arm slid down hers and tightened around her waist. Bella giggled quietly, not quite sure if he was really still asleep. She kissed his naked chest, giggling again at the way his soft hair tickled her cheek._

_"Are you asleep?" she whispered, pressing another kiss to his chest and looking up at his face._

_The small smile that pulled at the corners of his lips gave her the answer she was looking for. She reached down and dug her fingers in his side, tickling him mercilessly._

"_I know you're awake, cowboy," she teased, her voice full of mirth, and her heart light and overflowing with love._

_"Merry Christmas, Bunny," he said as he pulled her body on top of his._

_"Yes, Merry Christmas to me," she laughed, laying her head on his shaking chest. Bella knew he was enjoying the way her sassier side had come out the last two months. She felt more playful, and that was evident in the easy way comments like that slipped out._

_His hands skimmed under her shirt, exploring the warm, soft skin of her back. Bella breathed out a long, slow sigh and looked up at him. His eyes were vibrant and dark, almost pewter in the morning light. As he continued to make long, lazy circles up and down her back, Bella shifted a little and ran the tips of her fingers across his forehead, pushing his hair aside._

"_I love you, Edward."_

_A smile spread across his face. He loved hearing her say that. _

"_I love you," he said as he raised his head up to press his lips against hers. She dipped her head down and took her time teasing his lips with feather-light kisses, nose nuzzles, and small smiles._

_Edward savored her mouth, loving the way her tongue eased into his mouth and tangled languidly with his own. Their movements were slow and deliberate, both content to take their time. His mouth trailed open-mouth kisses across her jaw to her neck and the sensitive spot behind her ear. She was warm and soft, and he knew he'd never get tired of them being together like that._

_Bella put her hands on either side of his head and pushed herself up so she was sitting on top of him. He groaned at the feel of her against him, and he shifted, groaning again at the friction that sent sharp tingling sensations straight through him. She smiled down at him and felt her heart swell with emotion. She swallowed the overwhelming sense of happiness she felt and tugged her shirt over her head and tossed it away. _

_Edward stared at her appreciatively, taking in her long neck and the gentle slope of her shoulders. She had the most delicate collarbones, and all he could think was how much he wanted to trail his tongue against them. His eyes drifted down to the soft swell of her breasts, smooth and round. Her skin was pale but flushed, like peaches and cream, and he was sure she'd never looked more beautiful. He reached up and placed his hands on her hips and tugged her forward until she was hovering above him. Her long mahogany hair hung on either side of her face, swaying gently as her body shifted ever so slightly._

"_You are so beautiful," he said as his hand slid up her side and ribcage until he was cupping one of her breasts, loving the soft heaviness of it. His thumb brushed across her nipple, and she shuddered, a gasp escaping from her lips._

"_Oh God," she breathed out, her body shifting against his in response._

_He cupped her other breast and began kneading, caressing. She was perfect and she was his, he thought as he leisurely moved his mouth to her naked breast, taking her taut nipple into his mouth. She moaned as he gently sucked and nipped, swirling and flicking his tongue against her._

_With each pass of his tongue, Bella's fingers dug into his biceps, and her hips rocked against his. Wanting to worship her, to unwrap her like his personal Christmas present, he gently rolled her back onto the bed and straddled her waist. Edward was all over her. His lips kissed and his tongue tasted; his fingers explored, caressed, and drew pictures on her skin as he left no part of her untouched._

_Bella's body was on fire. No words fell from her lips, only soft moans and whimpers of pleasure. With every pass of his fingers, brush of his lips, or swirl of his tongue, Bella could feel his love and adoration pouring out, overwhelming her so completely it felt like she was flying higher and falling deeper in love. He was showing her how special, how treasured she was, and she silently vowed to spend the rest of their lives making sure he knew she felt the same way about him._

"_Please," she begged, her voice hoarse with need._

_He looked into her brown eyes, flecked with amber, and his lips found hers in a frantic, hungry kiss. Edward's body was tense with his own need, but he was determined to take his time showing her how he felt when words weren't enough. He wanted to show her with every touch, every whispered "I love you," every kiss that she was everything to him, that he'd never get enough of her, that he couldn't bear to live without her again. The longer he looked in her eyes, the more overcome he felt. His heart was bursting with love and joy and so many other emotions he couldn't identify._

_Trying to pull himself together, he sat back and stared appreciatively and trailed his hands up her milky white thighs. He hooked his fingers in the simple cotton panties she was wearing and dragged them down her legs. He pressed a kiss against the arch of her foot, the bone above her ankle, the curve of her calf, the bend of her knee, and the smooth skin of her thigh and repeated the path on her other leg. Over and over he trailed his lips against her legs, teasing and enjoying the way she squirmed beneath him. _

_With each kiss, each nip, Bella shuddered, feeling like she might die from frustration and need and want. She gasped sharply as his warm breath flitted across her aching flesh, and with a press of his lips against her, she cried out, grinding herself against him. Her fingers found his hair, and she tugged as he loved her, worshipped her with his tongue and fingers until she cried out, her climax washing over her._

_Panting, she lifted her head and pulled him up toward her, wanting to feel his lips against hers. Their kisses, initially slow, grew frenzied as Edward's need for her finally became too much. The room filled with the sounds of heated passion and breathless need, as hard flesh met soft, hot skin. Still wet, they slid and rocked against each other, their hips rotating and grinding together. _

_Without pretense or words, Edward cradled her in his arms and pushed inside her. His eyes fluttered closed as he felt her engulf him. He stayed still, breathing deeply and staring down at Bella's flushed face and closed eyes. _

"_Bunny," he said as he leaned forward, then propped himself up on his elbows, and laced his fingers with hers. He kissed her tenderly, reverently. "Look at me."_

_Bella's eyes flickered open, her lips parted, and a soft breath whooshed out of her as he slowly started to move against her. Bella met him thrust for thrust, her eyes never leaving his. Panting and yearning, they lost themselves in the sounds of their skin slapping and rubbing, their muffled grunts and whimpers, and the giving and receiving of pleasure. Edward's body tensed, and he knew he was close. He changed angles, wrapping his fingers around her thigh and wrapping it around his waist as he drove into her a little deeper, a little harder. He was frantic and needed her to come._

"_Bella… I'm…"_

"_I'm close," she cried as he sped up his thrusts, slamming into her. He felt her body tense beneath him; he moved above her, finally finding his own release as he breathlessly whispered her name, over and over again._

_Fully sated and exhausted, they laid there, staring at each other, small smiles creasing the corners of their mouths. Bella felt alive and overcome with such a sense of love; tears pricked at her eyes. She swallowed thickly as Edward's steel-blue met her molten chocolate._

"_I love you, Edward."_

_His heart swelled. He would never tire of hearing those words, and he knew in that instant he had to spend the rest of his life with her. She was all he'd ever need, and he couldn't imagine another day passing by without knowing she was fully his and he hers._

_"Marry me."_

_Bella's head popped up, surprised._

_"What?"_

_"Marry me." He waited, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I know we've only been back together for a little bit, but it's always been you, Bella. It always will be. Please make this the happiest Christmas of my life and say yes."_

_Bella watched as his eyes filled with hopeful tears. Her lungs expanded with love and excitement and confidence. She knew he was it for her. A love like theirs never went away, and it hadn't, even after all the years that had passed. She bit her bottom lip and grinned, nodding her yes._

"_Yes. Yes, I'll marry you."_

Bella could feel the skin of her cheeks pulled tight as she grinned widely. That day was still just as vivid as it was the day it happened. She glanced at the ring, sparkling on her finger, and her stomach flip-flopped with anticipation. They hadn't spent much time discussing the logistics of everything on Christmas day, both content to bask in the new craziness that had taken over their lives, but as time went on and the details became more defined, Bella made plans to move down to his ranch about a month before their wedding in August. They both wanted a late summer wedding, knowing the weather would be perfect for an outdoor wedding, and the scenery would be gorgeous.

Of course, that all changed the weekend of the ranch's grand opening.

_~*April*~_

_The ranch was buzzing with people. Jasper and Edward had worked like mad men through the cold winter months, both anxious to open the ranch to guests for the spring season. After a lot of talk and planning, Edward had asked Bella and Alice to help plan the grand opening celebration. _

_The two of them, Alice and Bella, were like two peas in a pod, both full of ideas and eager to make the event a huge success. They settled on a carnival style event that would be open to everyone in Jackson Hole and the surrounding area. The carnival would be full of all the traditional fare – hotdogs, popcorn, cotton candy, candied apples – games, horse rides, tours, and even a rodeo exhibition. _

_Bella spent the week leading up to the opening at the ranch. She wanted to be available at all times to help Edward or Alice. The event was critical to the success of the ranch, and Bella wanted to make sure it went off without a hitch. _

_When the big day finally arrived, she walked around the grounds and couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. The place was teeming with people – adults, young and old, kids of all ages and sizes, cowboys, city folk, pretty much everyone within a fifty-mile radius, it seemed. Bella had never seen a crowd so large, and she knew Edward was probably overwhelmed by the reception the ranch was receiving. Alice and Bella, thank God, had planned for an event of this scale, and both were determined to have enough food, drinks, and prizes for the kids. There was nothing worse than an event that ran short on the essentials. _

_She looked around and noticed Edward leading a young child on Lady Grey's back around the ring of the corral. The little boy was holding onto the horn with a death grip but with a smile nonetheless. Bella waited until Edward was finished before she waved him over. He was looking especially hot, wearing his traditional cowboy attire: tight jeans, a pair of flashy chaps, dusty boots, a black button down shirt with swirly blue lines across the chest, and his black hat perched on top of his head. Bella noticed the buckle he'd chosen for the day and couldn't help but smile. His father had given him that buckle just before he left for college and joined the rodeo club. It was gold and had a detailed picture of man on top of a bucking horse, one arm waving in the air, while the rider's legs flared. It was a fitting way to honor his parents' memory, and Bella knew they'd be proud of the man he'd become._

_While Bella was checking him out, Edward allowed himself a minute to do the same as he walked over to his gorgeous fiancée. She looked like the picture perfect buckle bunny – his bunny – in tight jeans that hugged every curve, a pink button down shirt with pearlescent buttons and curvy black piping to match the design on Edward's shirt, a new pair of black boots, and a matching black hat she'd purchased just for the grand opening. He loved how seriously she'd taken the entire opening project, thinking of every detail and going out of her way to make sure Edward was able to focus on finishing the last minute projects around the ranch. _

"_Hey, Bunny," he said leaning across the railing to kiss her._

"_Hey, Cowboy," she said after she'd pulled her lips from his. "You look like you're having fun."_

"_I am. I love watching all these kids around horses. I think we're going to have a lot of fun running this ranch, don't you?"_

_She smiled up at him and nodded. "I do."_

_They watched a few more kids climb up on Lady Grey as Jasper held her steady. He was a natural, too, and Bella was grateful Edward had found him and Alice, and for the friendship she'd started to develop with them both._

_He laced his fingers with hers and kissed her again. "This was amazing, Bella. Thank you. You and Alice made this event such a success, and I can't tell you how much it means to have you by my side for this." _

"_I wouldn't have missed it for the world. This is my life now, too, Edward," Bella said sincerely. There really wasn't any other place she wanted to be; the ranch was her home, even if she didn't live there yet._

_The rest of the afternoon passed uneventfully. People enjoyed themselves, and by the time they wrapped things up, Edward, Alice, Jasper, and Bella were exhausted. They left the bulk of the cleaning for the next day, choosing instead to spend the remaining daylight hours talking and celebrating over beers. As she listened to the conversation, Bella felt a pang of sadness settle over her, knowing she'd have to leave on Monday morning. _

_She hated being away from Edward, but they'd worked out a plan that had her moving to Jackson Hole in July, just before the wedding in August. Edward had asked her to come earlier, but Bella wanted to take a bit more time to wrap things up in Green River. As she sat at one of the many picnic tables they'd set up, she realized how ridiculous it was. She wanted to be there. Edward wanted her there. It was a no brainer._

_Later that night as they were laying in bed, tangled together in a mess of exhausted and fully sated limbs, Bella quietly said, "I don't want to leave on Monday."_

"_Then stay. You know you don't have to leave. This is your home, too."_

_Bella twisted around to face him and smiled. "Really?"_

"_Bunny, why are you asking such a ridiculous question? I want you here with me. Always."_

"_Okay."_

"_Okay?"_

"_Yes, okay. I want to be here, too. I'm not sure what I was waiting on, but I'm tired of being away from you."_

_Edward tugged her closer, wrapping his arms more tightly around her and kissing her deeply before they fell asleep together. _

And there she was, one month later, driving a massive U-Haul with all her worldly possessions in the back on her way to Jackson Hole. As she rounded the bend and pulled into Edward's driveway, she felt a giddy nervousness settle in her stomach. The moment she'd been waiting for had finally arrived. She was finally moving there to live with Edward. They were going to get married, share a life together, and probably raise a family there.

She parked the truck in the driveway, and Edward was out of the house and jerking open the door in a burst of excitement Bella hadn't seen in a long time.

"You're here!" he practically shouted, his voice exuberant and lively as he pulled her out of the truck and into his arms. He swung her round and round, her legs flaring out, and Bella laughed excitedly.

"You are crazy, Edward!" she squealed, her laughs filling the late afternoon air.

When he put her down, Edward could hardly take his eyes or his hands off her. He couldn't believe she was finally there. Bella was really moving to the ranch. She was really going to marry him. They were starting a new life together, and he'd never been happier.

They spent the rest of the evening hauling her things in and piling it all over the house, knowing they'd be rearranging things to make room for her stuff. Together, they'd make it _their _home, and something about that just felt right.

Bella woke the next morning just as the sun was beginning to rise. Her body was still tired and achy, but she wouldn't trade it for the world; it meant she was finally starting her new life with Edward.

She walked into the living room, leaned against the window frame, and stared at the mountains. She marveled at the grey-blue shadows that the still hiding sun cast across them. They reminded her of Edward's eyes, and she smiled. The mountains were just as beautiful as they were the first time she'd seen them, but she appreciated them more after everything she and Edward had been through.

Life, like mountains, didn't come without its trials. It took years of time and weather to shape the rocky ridges, and all the jagged edges were simply parts that still needed a little work. She knew they weren't perfect, that she and Edward still had a long way to go, but she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that her heart belonged to him, and whatever came their way, they would make it through together. In many ways, that weekend back in October had been a wake-up call for both of them. It was true they'd both lived full lives, but there was always room for love, forgiveness, and true happiness. She breathed a contented sigh and just let herself relish the simplicity and beauty in which she found herself.

Edward woke to an empty bed and padded quietly into the living room in search of Bella. He immediately saw her standing by the window and stopped to watch her for a minute. As he stared at her, he finally realized that the fog of life, the one that had pulled him away from her the first time, the one that wrapped him in darkness after his injury and the death of his parents, had finally cleared, truly allowing him to see the daylight peeking through the clouds. _Bella_.

She was his sun. She was warm and full of energy, and he had been pulled to her, gravitating to and swirling around her from the moment he'd first seen her. He took in her small frame, her mahogany locks still messy from sleep, and the way her body seemed relaxed and at ease in his – _their_ – home, and he was immensely grateful for the second chance he'd been given to love her again and to be loved in return.

He walked toward her and she turned at the sound of his footsteps and smiled.

"Hey, you," she whispered against his lips.

"Hey," he whispered back, kissing her tenderly. "What are you doing up?"

"I wanted to watch the sunrise."

Edward wrapped his arms tightly around her, enveloping her fully as she hummed in acknowledgment. She leaned against his chest, lost in his warmth, and sighed, grateful to have found love not once, but twice. As the sun rose above the rugged mountains, she realized she was finally home.

~*SD*~

Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing this story! I can honestly say writing this story pushed me in new and exciting ways. It challenged me to think differently, to research differently, to write differently, and to take feedback/constructive criticism differently. I'm incredibly grateful to my prereaders – LZTZ and jadsmama – and the beta team – kikikinz, lexiecullen17, and Jessica1971. They read, commented, reread, tweaked some more, and finally blessed it. I'm grateful to each one of them for the immense contribution they put forth in support of this story. Thank you, ladies! I couldn't have done it without you!

Thanks to heather_dawn for the beautiful banner! She took the mountain of pictures I gave her and created exactly what I had envisioned. I hope we meet again soon, bb.

And last but certainly not least, to MsK – thank you! Thank you for purchasing me in FGB when I thought no one would, for taking a chance on me, and for giving me creative license to work this my way. You are an amazing force for good in this fandom, and I'm proud to call you a friend.

I have two or three outtakes planned and will be posting those at some point in the future, so if you haven't already put me on author alert so you get notified when they do come out! I'm for sure doing the scene between Edward and Rose. It was mentioned briefly in here, but I got SOOOO many reviews saying they couldn't wait to find out how what Rose will do/say... so, I'll work on that one first.

Thank you all again! Jess xoxo


	12. Chapter 12  The 1st Weekend and Rose

First, thank you team F4SAA for putting together such an amazing compilation and for giving us all a chance to support something that is near and dear to many of us.

Second, huge thanks to my prereaders, Jadsmama, mycrookedsmile, and einfach_mich, and my betas, kikikinz and Jessica1971, for working through all of this with me. They all read and reread, betad and then rebetad bits and pieces. I sincerely couldn't have done this without you.

This outtake takes place at the end of Seeing Daylight the first weekend Edward comes to visit. You asked for Rose's reaction to Edward and Bella – here it is!

This is rated M for a reason.

~*SD*~

Edward put the truck in gear and backed out of his driveway. The week had dragged by, and when Friday finally dawned, he took care of the horses, finalized arrangements for the weekend with Jasper, and got on the road. The three hour drive was slow and long, and the closer he got to Green River, the more anxious he became.

Though he and Bella had spoken every day since she'd left, he had no idea what it would be like once he got there. Would she still want to give this thing between them another chance? Would it feel strange to be in the same home she'd shared with Riley? And how, or more like would, her friends – especially Rose – accept him? He knew that would be the make or break situation, and he was determined to do whatever was necessary to gently ease himself into Bella's life.

He pulled out the directions Bella had given him once he hit the city limits and navigated his way through the windy roads to her house. As he pulled into the driveway and shut off the engine, he sat for a second, his stomach twisting with nerves.

The house was exactly as Bella had described. It wasn't overly large, but it wasn't small, either. A row of evergreen shrubs lined the walkway to the porch, and he could see how well she'd taken care of the place. It was clear her home had been filled with love; everything about it screamed happiness.

His stomach twisted again, but he knew it wasn't going to get better the longer he sat there. With a deep breath, he opened the door and got out. He was almost to the door when it swung open and Bella ran out and excitedly jumped into his arms.

"You made it," she squealed.

He laughed and pulled her closer, loving how good she felt in his arms again. It had only been a few days, but it had seemed like forever.

His kiss was the only response she needed. Their lips met, and all the nerves and 'what ifs' faded away. It was just the two of them, lost in each other, tasting, touching, lips moving eagerly against each other. Bella tightened her grip around his neck and, sensing her need, he pulled her closer and slowly walked them to the front step. He sat them down, her legs wrapped around his waist and his hands on her back and in her hair. They sat like that for at least a good ten minutes, making out for the neighborhood to see.

Eventually, Edward pulled back just slightly, his forehead and nose pressed against hers.

"Hi," he whispered sweetly.

"Hi, yourself."

A few feathery kisses later and they were both laughing at how they must look to drivers passing by.

"Let's go inside," Bella said, climbing off his lap.

"So, this is your house, huh?" Edward said as he stood in the entryway.

"This is it," she said proudly. "Come on; I'll show you around."

Bella walked him from room to room, giving him a chance to take in all the details of her life that he'd missed while he'd been on the circuit. There were pictures of her with Rose and a girl he didn't recognize but assumed was her friend, Jane, one of her with her parents that used to sit on their mantle in college, and a few of her with a guy he knew must be Riley. He could see how happy she was, how happy Riley had made her, and he felt the familiar guilt and sadness over what he'd given up, but also a new excitement and hope at what was to come.

As his hand locked with hers, he realized how lucky he truly was. She was giving him a second chance, and this time he wouldn't fuck it up.

When she'd finished showing him each room, she led him into the living room and onto the couch. He sat down and immediately wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her onto his lap. His lips brushed against her neck as he buried his face in her hair.

"I missed you, Bunny," he said softly as he continued to pepper kisses against her now flushed skin.

"Mmmm. I missed you, too."

They spent the afternoon snuggled together on the couch, kissing, laughing, talking, and making out. Every touch, every whispered word, every kiss, was filled with warmth and full of love. The intensity between them hadn't waned in the few days they'd been apart. Bella had initially feared Edward might feel differently, or worse, she would feel differently when she saw him again, but wrapped in his arms, she knew nothing had changed. She felt that same tingly feeling he evoked the previous weekend… and every time they'd been together.

As the room started to get dark, Bella looked at the clock on the wall and realized how long they'd been sitting there.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, feeling the churn in her stomach.

"I could eat," he said, waggling his eyebrows. He was about ready to explode from their make out session, but he didn't want to push her. They had all weekend, and he wanted to make sure she knew this was more than sex for him. His gut told him she already did, but in the time they'd been apart, he'd felt anxious and unsettled. It wasn't until he'd wrapped his arms around her outside that he felt his world right itself. She was his life now, and he planned to spend the rest of his life showing her how much he loved her.

"Good, because we're meeting Rose and Jane for dinner at seven."

Edward's jaw dropped in surprise, and Bella burst out laughing. She knew she should have told him before he got there, but the meeting was inevitable. After she'd been grilled by Rose and Jane upon her return and then told them he was coming to visit the following weekend, they'd made it pretty clear they wanted to meet him.

_~*Wednesday Following Bella's Return from Jackson Hole*~_

"_What!" Rose practically shouted when Bella finally told her she and Edward were back together. "Bella, please tell me you're kidding. Please tell me you didn't take that douche bag back after what he did to you…"_

"_Rose. Stop. Right now," Bella said coolly, her voice firm and unmistakably clear. Her eyes glinted with a resolve even she was surprised to find in herself, but she needed to make it clear she was with Edward and that she wasn't going to tolerate her hostility. Bella knew Edward was different, that he was a changed man, and she needed Rosalie… and Jane, to trust her judgment. _

_Rose stared back at her, her mouth agape, as she tried to backpedal quickly. She had not expected a reaction like that, and seeing the fire in Bella's eyes and hearing the tone of her voice, she knew something was definitely different. "Bella, I'm -"_

_Bella held up her hand, and Rose immediately stopped talking. She took a deep breath and tried to collect herself. She wasn't surprised that Rose had responded that way. She knew she wouldn't take the news well. She looked over at Jane who was sitting quietly and taking it all in. _

"_Rose, I know what you're thinking, and believe me, I felt the same way when I got there on Friday. But he's not the same person he was in college. So much has happened, and he…" Bella paused and nibbled on her bottom lip, trying to find the right words to say. "I can honestly say he regrets walking away. And, truthfully, our time together over the weekend helped me see the part I played in our break up."_

_Rose stiffened, and Jane shifted in her seat. _

"_What are you talking about?" Rose asked, her voice straining to contain the confusion and anger she'd just barely reined in._

"_Exactly what I said. Edward and I spent a lot of time talking, rehashing the past. He owned up to his part – the fact that he wasn't there for me like he should have been – and in doing that, I realized the ultimatum I gave him wasn't really fair, either. _

"_Sure, I had my reasons. I was frustrated and angry, but I should have talked to him. I'm not saying things would have ended differently, but they might have ended better."_

"_But… that's just… it doesn't make any sense to me. He should have chosen you. If he loved you at all, he should have chosen you. Instead, he chose the fucking rodeo. The rodeo and a goddamn horse, Bella. I just don't understand how you can forgive him for doing that," Rose said, the anger dissipating into sad confusion._

"_Maybe he has changed, but how does that erase what he did, how he hurt you? I know what you were like when he walked away. I know what that did to you, and I can't watch him do that again. It killed me seeing you like that," she said, whispering the last few words as tears filled her eyes._

_Bella reached over to grab her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. She knew Rose had picked up the pieces of her messed up life when Edward left. Rose hadn't talked about it much over the years, but Bella knew it was extremely painful for her to think about._

"_I know it did, Rose, and trust me, if I thought that was going to happen again, I wouldn't even think about going there with him again. But I meant what I said. He's different. He's not the same cocky, arrogant asshole that left me all those years ago. Please give him a chance. For me," Bella pleaded, giving her best, most convincing smile, and Rose nodded slowly._

"_Fine, but it's going to take some serious convincing… and maybe a little ass kicking for me to get over what he did," she said with a tentative smile._

_Bella and Jane laughed. Rose had always been the fierce one of the bunch, and they both loved that about her._

_Jane knew she didn't have the same personal experience Rose did, but she could tell Bella was happy, different than she was just a little over a week before. She hadn't seen her look that way – bright eyes, flushed cheeks, easy smiles – since before Riley died. A part of her died with Riley and was now reborn with Edward. _

"_I'm happy for you, Bella."_

_Bella looked over at her and felt a hint of relief as Jane smiled at her encouragingly. _

"_Thank you. Thank you both for being so amazing. I can't wait for you to meet him, Jane."_

"_I can't wait, either. Just seeing him and Rose dance around the awkwardness will be epic," she said with a giggle._

_Bella and Rose started laughing, the tension of the conversation evaporating as they started to get into the good girl talk. _

~*SD*~

Edward groaned as he stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. He felt sick to his stomach at the thought of seeing Rosalie so soon. Bella had told him how her conversation with the girls had gone, and it sounded like it hadn't gone well… at least not at first. Bella had reassured him countless times since their Wednesday night phone call that it would be fine, that Rose was willing to give him a chance, but he knew he needed to make amends. He needed to apologize for how he'd left things and thank her for taking care of Bella. He hoped she'd give him the chance.

"You ready?" Bella asked as poked her head in the bathroom.

"To face the firing squad?" he asked, laughing. "I suppose now is as good a time as any."

Bella laughed and pressed a kiss against his warm lips. "Thank you for doing this. I know the idea of facing Rose isn't on your top ten list of fun things to do, but it means a lot to me that you're going to do it."

Edward wrapped his arms around her waist as he pulled her close and let himself get lost for a minute in her soft body and delicate perfume. As their lips moved together easily, he felt her quiet confidence. She was sure things would be okay, and they were her friends. If she felt that way, then he would do everything in his power to earn, or re-earn in Rosalie's case, their respect.

"It doesn't matter if I don't want to. I need to."

With a smile, a few whispered promises about what the night held in store for them, and another kiss or two, they walked out the front door and drove to the restaurant.

~*SD*~

Bella and Edward walked into the restaurant, their hands clasped tightly together. She was the picture of confidence, and he was desperately trying to be. She knew he was nervous. The whole drive his leg had bounced restlessly and she could see him gnawing on his lip. By the time they arrived, his entire body was tense. She knew this was going to be uncomfortable for him, but after a few minutes of tender touches, gentle reassurances, and searing kisses, he'd relaxed.

"They're over there," she said softly, tightening her grip around his fingers.

He didn't say anything but nodded to let her know he'd heard her. He was determined to make this night go smoothly. These women were important to Bella. They were her best friends, and while Jane didn't know him, Rosalie did. She knew their history, the sadness, and the aftermath of pain he'd left in his wake, and his and Bella's relationship wasn't going to be an easy sell.

"Hi guys," Bella said as she walked up to the table.

Jane and Rosalie stopped talking and both of them smiled at her. Jane, a petite blonde, stood up and hugged Bella, as did Rosalie. As Rosalie wrapped her arms around Bella's back, her eyes flickered over to Edward, and her lips pulled into a straight line. She wasn't happy to see him, and he wasn't surprised in the least.

Bella pulled back and reached behind her for Edward's hand. "This is Edward," she said sweetly. "Edward, this is Jane," she said, pointing to the blonde, "and of course, you know Rose."

Edward gave them his best smile. "Nice to meet you, Jane," he said, extending his hand to shake hers.

"The pleasure's mine. I've heard a lot about you," she said with a wink and a smile.

Edward grinned.

"Hi, Rosalie, it's good to see you again." Edward extended his hand and waited for her to take it. He could see the conflict in her eyes. Eventually, after she caught the glare on Bella's face, she reached up and took his hand.

"Edward," she said coolly.

After a short, awkward pause, Jane smiled and told everyone to sit. Everyone took their places and Bella's hand instantly found his under the table. She tried to make sure he knew she understood how uncomfortable the situation was by squeezing his hand reassuringly. He smiled, grateful for her compassion, and squeezed it back.

The server arrived, took everyone's orders, and after the drinks arrived, the mood lightened. Conversation flowed easily, led mostly by Jane and Bella. Rosalie didn't say much. She spent most of the time listening and watching Edward. She didn't glare, but she didn't give him any real indication what she was thinking.

"So, Edward, what is it that you do?" Jane asked when the conversation lulled.

Edward finished chewing and set his fork down. "I own a ranch in Jackson Hole. We're actually in the process of fixing it up, so we can host guests and families who are interested in spending time outdoors and with horses."

"Well, that's certainly not the rodeo," Rose sniped, just as Jane said, "That sounds exciting."

Edward looked between Jane and Rose and matter-of-factly said, "No. It's not the rodeo. That phase of my life is behind me now, and I'm looking forward to finally being settled, to starting a family." As he finished talking, he looked over at Bella and reached for her hand again. She took it and beamed at him, her cheeks flushing lightly.

After an awkward pause and wary glance between Rose and Bella, Jane pressed on.

"So, do you have, you know, other real life cowboys working the ranch?"

Bella laughed, and Edward smiled. "I do. My friend, Jasper, and a couple other guys from around town will be helping out."

"And are any of them single?" As soon as the question came out, she blushed bright pink and looked down.

"Oh, for the love, Jane," Rose said, exasperated but with a smile. "Always on the prowl."

"What? Cowboys are hot."

Everyone laughed.

"I'll check around," he said.

As the meal ended, Rose stood and excused herself. Edward watched her walk away and knew it was his only real chance. He needed to talk with her, to apologize for what she'd been forced to deal with when he left. With a brush of his lips against Bella's cheek, he stood and excused himself. She watched as he walked away, knowing he was going to try and make things right. She couldn't help the smile that involuntarily formed at his determination and thoughtfulness.

"Oh, you have it so bad," Jane teased as she watched Bella's smile grow.

"Shut it, you," Bella said, waving her hand dismissively even as her cheeks flushed.

"Seriously, Bella, you look so happy. I can tell he's good for you and makes you happy. I know there's some tension because of your past, but it's clear how much you both care for each other. If you're happy, I'm happy."

Bella beamed and was a little caught off guard by Jane's fervor. "Thank you, Jane. It means a lot that you would say that. I know he's it for me."

They continued to talk through Bella and Edward's plans for the weekend while Edward slowly made his way to the restrooms and waited. His mind was whirling with myriad thoughts. What should he say? Was this the right time? Would it make a difference?

"Edward?"

The sound of Rosalie's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Um, hi."

"What are you doing standing outside the women's bathroom?" she asked with a smirk.

He looked up at her and then over to the sign on the door and then back at her and felt his face redden.

"I was waiting… hoping I could talk to you for a second." His voice held a hopeful tone, and he could tell by the subtle shift in her posture that he might get the chance he'd been waiting for.

"About?"

This time it was Edward's turn to shift. The nervousness he'd felt on the ride to the restaurant returned in full force and churned uncomfortably in his stomach.

"Bella. The two of us being together… again."

"I don't think this is the time or the place to rehash the past, Edward," she said as she started to push past him.

His hand on her shoulder gave her pause. A few long seconds later she turned to look at him.

"I can meet you in the morning for coffee. Starbucks. On the corner of 5th and Wilson," she said curtly.

"What time?"

"Eight a.m."

"I'll be there. And um… thanks, Rose."

She nodded absently and walked back to the table. A short lived sense of relief washed over him. At least he'd have a chance to explain his side of the story and hopefully help her see how he'd changed.

~*SD*~

Later that evening, after returning from the restaurant, Edward and Bella stood in the kitchen sipping from a shared glass of wine.

"Thank you for tonight, Edward. It really means a lot to me that you braved Rose's wrath and got to meet Jane. She seems taken by you… not that I expected any different," Bella said with a smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

"I wanted to meet them. Jane was great, and Rose was, well… exactly how I expected her to be."

Bella brought the wine glass to her lips and took a small sip thoughtfully.

"To be honest, I'm surprised at how well it went. I was nervous she would make a scene."

Edward smiled. "You think you were worried? I was sort of dreading our first encounter. She was more gracious than I expected, and I think I have you to thank for that. You obviously said something to her before tonight to at least convince her to give me a chance to explain. Tomorrow will probably be rough, but I want to make things right with her."

Bella nodded. "Thank you, baby. And yes, I did. We talked for a long time on Wednesday night about how I feel about you, how different you are, and where I thought this relationship was going," she said as she motioned between herself and Edward.

"And just where do you think it's going?" Edward asked with a smirk.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she said with a wink and some sass as she drained the rest of the wine from the glass.

He pulled her body toward his, feeling her warm softness pressed against him. "Yeah, I would," he whispered against her ear. She shivered and leaned in, relishing the way his breath felt against her skin.

His lips trailed against her neck and across her jaw until he claimed her lips, tasting the sweet bitterness of the wine. His tongue trailed against her bottom lip until she opened her mouth to him. Their tongues tangled languidly. There was no rush, no desperation, just the desire to be connected again after being apart for the last few days.

"Let's go upstairs."

Her fingers tangled with his as she slowly led him up the stairs. As they climbed each step, Edward felt the pull, the need to be closer to her. He wanted to feel her smooth, soft skin, her long, silky tresses run through his fingers, to taste every part of her. When they reached the top, he pulled her back against his chest and placed slow, teasing kisses along her jaw and down her neck, flicking his tongue playfully against the tender skin behind her ear.

"I want you, Bunny," he whispered huskily.

"Mmmm," she moaned, feeling herself fall under his spell. She had never been able to resist the feel of his hard body against hers or his lips on her neck.

The walk down the hall was frisky as his hands roamed, tickling and teasing. As they got to the end of the hall, Bella stopped. She turned, her face the picture of confusion and uncertainty. He was just about to ask her what the matter was when she pulled his face down to hers and kissed him with abandon. Thrown off, Edward responded instantly. His hands ran up and down her back, tangling into the ends of her hair. His stomach tickled, and he couldn't help but lose himself in her. His fingers ran up her back and shoulders to cup her face as he slowed the pace of their kiss. When he finally broke away, what he saw was different than he expected.

Tears filled her eyes, and her jaw was tense. He watched as her eyes shifted away from his, flitting to the door of her bedroom and then back to his. Confused, he took a step back.

"Bella?"

She shook her head and tried to collect herself. She had no idea what had just come over her. It was ridiculous to be thinking about Riley at that moment, but as she stood in front of her bedroom door with Edward's hands and mouth all over her, she felt a pang of uncertainty and guilt.

"Bunny, please tell me what's wrong." Edward's voice was quiet and low, concerned. He waited for her to speak, but it was obvious she wasn't even sure what to say. Finally, he placed his finger underneath her chin and slowly forced her to look up. When her eyes met his, she saw nothing short of love and safety. She needed to tell him she couldn't do this with him in the bedroom she'd shared with Riley. It felt wrong to have another man in that bed, _their_ bed, but she had no idea how to say it without hurting his feelings or making him think she wasn't ready to be in a relationship with him. She shifted away from him, her arms wrapping around herself as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Bella, you know you can talk to me, tell me anything. I'm not going anywhere. You know that, right?" he asked, ducking down to try and meet her eyes.

She looked up at him and knew every word he was saying was true. Feeling the slightest bit reassured, she took a deep breath and slowly started to speak.

"I know it's probably going to sound ridiculous to you, but… well, this was the room Riley and I shared, and it feels wrong to have you in there." She bit her bottom lip and waited. She watched his reaction, eagerly waiting for him to turn and walk away from her.

Edward, surprised and sad and embarrassed, quickly offered to sleep in the guest bedroom. "I don't have to sleep in there with you. I can sleep in the guestroom, if that will make my being here easier."

"Really? You don't mind?" Bella asked, her eyes and voice hopeful.

"If it makes you feel better, then of course I'll sleep in there." He hoped he had hidden the disappointment he felt at having to sleep alone. He was about to turn and walk into the guestroom down the hall when Bella grabbed his hand.

"Thank you, baby." Her voice was full of relief, and he knew as much as it would suck to sleep alone he would do it for her.

"Anything, Bella. I already told you that."

She grinned at him. Her eyes were still glassy, but the glow from earlier was back. "Make yourself at home. I'm just going to get my sleep clothes, and I'll be right back."

"What?" Edward asked, confused.

"My sleep clothes," she stated simply, staring back at him with her own confused expression. "I'm going to get them, so we can go to bed."

"But, I thought…"

She cocked her head in confusion until understanding illuminated her features. She giggled. "Wait. You didn't think I meant you had to sleep in there by yourself, did you?"

Edward looked down sheepishly, embarrassed once again.

"I wouldn't do that, Edward. We're together. I just thought it would be weird to sleep in the same bed I shared with Riley." Bella walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, loving the way she could feel his muscles under his shirt. "I want to sleep with you, Edward."

She tried to keep a straight face but couldn't. The smirk that had formed on his face at his recognition of her double entendre had them both laughing again, the tension completely gone.

By the time she returned, he was lying across the bed clad only in a pair of jeans, his body stretched out and completely relaxed. He looked sexy as hell, and Bella couldn't help the rush of warmth that surged through her. He was breathtaking, and his inked skin was begging to be kissed. Staring at him, even though it had been less than a week since she'd last seen him like that, made her realize once again how lucky she was to have him back in her life.

He looked up to see her watching him from the doorway and had to do a double take. She was fucking gorgeous in a dark blue nightie. The fabric clung to her hips and breasts, leaving nothing to the imagination. He knew what was underneath and felt himself harden just thinking about it. He smiled a slow, smoldering smile and patted the bed. She walked toward him and gingerly climbed onto the bed.

"Hey, you," she whispered once she had settled down beside him.

"Hey, yourself," he said as he wrapped his arm around her waist and tugged her closer to him. He had been waiting all night to get her alone, and he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the evening worshipping her body and loving on her.

"You're so beautiful, Bella," he said as he leaned forward and kissed her, gently, slowly. His lips moved down her neck and across the smooth skin of her shoulders as he tenderly nipped and kissed against the freckles scattered there.

She hummed at the gentle brush of his lips. Between kisses, he pulled the straps of her nightgown down; his calloused fingers drawing a line down her arm, making her feel more exposed than the loss of the fabric. He worked his way across her collarbones, into the valleys of her clavicle, and across the tops of her breasts, first with his work-roughened hands, then his soft lips and wet tongue. With every touch, nibble and taste, Bella felt her body respond, growing hot and desperate for more.

He watched with rapt wonder at her body's response – the darkening of her eyes, the parting of her lips, the gasping breaths that escaped from her mouth, the arching of her back telling him she wanted more. Feeling almost frantic with the need to explore her, to see her naked, he paused to pull off her gown. She lifted her hips and then arched her back as he pulled it over her head. His sharp intake of breath told her he was surprised at what he saw. She was bare beneath it, and he couldn't help but stop to admire her beautiful body.

"So fucking sexy," he growled as he leaned forward and sucked one of her already pebbled peaks into his mouth.

She moaned at the sensation. His tongue flicked and tasted while his fingers rolled and played with her other nipple. Every muscle tensed at the sensation shooting down to her already slick flesh.

With each pass of his tongue and lips, she felt herself slipping, falling into him. Her head was spinning, either from the wine or the way he was making her feel; she wasn't sure.

"God, Bella, you taste so fucking good," he moaned as his hands spread across her breasts and he squeezed. He loved how soft and perfect she felt. And God, how good, how sweet she tasted as he switched sides, sucking her other peak into his mouth. Her eyes clenched as she drew in a sharp breath. Her body tightened, and she writhed against the crisp sheets, slowly pushing her body closer to his in search of the friction she desperately needed.

"Edward," she cried out, her eyes clenched tightly as he bit down gently. "Need to feel you."

Her hands found his chest, and she ran her fingers down to his stomach and back up. He was hot, his skin blazing, and all she wanted was to be fused to him. She shifted slightly and tangled her legs between his, grinding against his rough, jean-clad erection. The burning, tingling sensations of her nearing orgasm prickled.

Edward trailed his fingers up her back, relishing the soft, smoothness of her skin. He dug his fingers into the fleshy part of her hips, pulling her closer. As she moved against him, grinding and shifting, his mouth found her breast again.

"Please don't stop," she begged as he laved his tongue against her. She could feel the gentle tug of his tongue on the sensitive flesh of her nipple, like an urgent, hungry throb leaving her skin tight and hot.

Over and over she moved, sliding her wet sex against him, the rough fabric digging into her soft flesh.

"So fucking sexy," he murmured, flipping her onto her back. Her fingers tangled in his hair as he continued to worship every part of her body. She writhed beneath him as he trailed hot, wet kisses down her stomach, stopping only to circle her belly button with his tongue, until she gasped as his lips pressed tender kisses against her hip bones, her thighs, and blissfully against her soft folds.

She hummed in encouragement, lost in the amazing feel of his mouth and lips and tongue against her already flushed and flaming skin.

His fingers brushed her tender flesh and trailed through her slick wetness, sending her body into a fit of a million sensations as he pressed against her clit. Bella was lost in the moment, her face flushed, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip, and her fingers twisting almost painfully in his hair as she lifted her hips in desperate need for more.

Edward felt his heart beat wildly at what he was making her do. Seeing her like that was almost his undoing. Her body was crying out for more, and he loved the way she was begging and moaning loudly for him. His fingers, in agonizing slow motion, circled her already sensitive flesh, making her body tense and her breath escape at the overwhelming intensity of his touch. He slid his fingers back and forth through her wet heat until he pushed one, then two fingers inside.

Her whimpers and moans told him she loved it, wanted more. Bending forward, he pressed his tongue against her. Sucking, tasting, flicking, and nibbling.

"Oh, god, please…"

He was mesmerized by the way her body pressed into his hand, loving how responsive and needy she was. He hummed against her, relishing her musky taste, as she fisted his hair, tighter this time, as the vibrations pushed her almost to the brink. Cupping her ass, he pulled her body against his face as his tongue flicked out against her delicate, sensitive skin. She cried out at the sensation and ground against him, moaning and whimpering at the way his tongue was playing her perfectly. Over and over his tongue and fingers worked her, dug into her skin, until her body exploded, wave after wave of pleasure crashing over her.

Sated, she stared at him, her eyes dark and dazed.

"Fuck, Bunny…" he said, sucking his fingers into his mouth, tasting the last bit of her orgasm. He fucking loved seeing her come undone on him like that.

He climbed back up her body and wrapped his fingers around her face, his hands holding her face still as he devoured her lips and her tongue. He heard her groan as she tasted herself on him. She raked her fingernails up and down as he greedily took more. He was insatiable, hungry for more of her sweet, sweet taste. She moaned and grabbed his hands, holding him to her as she met him with every stroke of his tongue and slide of his lips. Her need for him was just as intense, just as voracious. She wanted him to claim her, to make her his over and over again.

She pulled away, breathless and panting. "My turn," she said, her voice gravelly and hoarse.

She climbed on top of him and ran her fingers down his chest, appreciating the remaining tan he had and the definition of his muscles. She skimmed his biceps, pecs, and abs before circling again. She could feel the soft hair on his chest and looked down to see the trail leading beneath his jeans.

She bent forward and kissed his chest before flicking her tongue against his erect nipples.

"Fuck," he hissed at the feeling of her hot, wet mouth on him.

She continued her path downward, tasting, nipping, loving every part of him just like he'd done to her.

When he didn't think he could take any more of her teasing, she palmed his erection through his jeans and he groaned. Loudly. It was deep and throaty, and as his hips lifted in a silent request for more, she tightened her grip. His eyes squeezed shut, and he breathed in deep. He needed to slow this down or he was going to come before she even got his pants off.

She grinned wickedly before leaning forward and kissing him hungrily.

"Bella…"

Her fingers found the button of his jeans and quickly flicked it open. Excruciatingly slow, she pulled the zipper down, the clink-clink of the teeth agonizing to him. He wanted to be inside her, to feel her tight and hot and wet around him.

Unable to wait any longer, he flipped her over onto her back and yanked his jeans and boxer briefs down, kicking them off as he straddled her beautiful body.

His hands and lips were all over her, the curve of her hip, the ridges of her ribs, her thighs, the inside of her knee, her shoulders, underneath the soft swell of her breast as he pressed himself against her. Completely desperate, he asked in a strained voice if she was ready.

She nodded, her bottom lip between her teeth. "Want you so much, baby," she rasped as her hands left his and trailed down his chest, her nails biting into his skin, until she wrapped her fingers around his erection.

He groaned at the sensation. His hips flexed, and he pushed his dick in her hand as he desperately sought the friction he needed.

"I want you, Bella. Need you," he breathed against her lips. She let go just as his dark grey eyes met hers, and with as much tenderness as he could muster amidst his need, he lined himself up and pushed into her.

She was so hot, so tight.

Leaning forward onto his forearms, he moved his hips against hers, hard and fast. As much as Edward wanted to take his time, his body was screaming at him to move. She clawed at his back, crying out as he took and she gave. The air was filled with the sounds of the grunts and moans as they uttered incoherent words of lust and need. With each press of his hips, he could feel his body tightening and tingling.

He pulled himself almost completely out and sank back inside her deep, wet heat. Over and over, thrust and pull, he moved inside her, lost in white hot bliss.

Her fingers skimmed up and down his back, feeling his muscles bunch and tense with each thrust. As she closed her eyes and took in every movement, every brush of his fingers and tickle of his chest hair against her breasts, she felt herself fall deeper and deeper in love.

"Please baby… need… come," he whispered against her shoulder.

She moved her hands between them and furiously rubbed her clit. She was so close, and as they moved together rhythmically, she could feel her climax nearing. She felt the tightening in her belly, hot prickles and goose bumps all over her flesh.

"So close."

He shifted his hips and thrust into her as he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth. The sudden change in sensation was enough as she cried out her release. The world spun around her as she gave in to the overwhelming sensations coursing through her. He continued to move against her, lost in the ecstasy of her body as he finally let go.

All he could see and feel was her. Beautiful. Perfect. _His_.

Their movements slowed as they both came down from their high. Fully sated and exhausted, he collapsed beside her, pulling her body, hot and sticky with sweat, into his arms. A brush of his lips on the back of her shoulder, a soft moan of acceptance, whispered "I love yous", and they fell asleep.

~*SD*~

Edward drummed his fingers on the table anxiously as his eyes flitted to the door of the coffee shop. He knew the minute he'd seen Rosalie the night before that he'd have to have this conversation, but he sure as hell wasn't looking forward to it.

Rose had always been fiercely protective of Bella. They'd been almost instant best friends in college and were practically inseparable. Rose had been to almost as many rodeos as Bella, and she had been through every up and down of his and Bella's relationship.

When Bella told him over the phone how her conversation with Jane and Rose went earlier that week, Edward had started to feel nervous about coming to visit. He missed Bella terribly even though it had been less than a week, but the thought of confronting Rose, hashing through the old hurts and owning up to his part of the breakup, would not be easy... or pleasant. The door dinged, and his eyes jerked up to see Rosalie breezing through the door.

Rosalie was tall and stunning. She was wearing jeans and a white sweater, and her long blonde hair was pulled into a tight pony tail on top of her head. On any other woman, it would seem severe, but Rosalie had always managed to pull off that avant garde look while still remaining feminine. She was the kind of woman whose presence commanded attention. She was confident and proud, and by the determined, almost fierce look on her face, he knew she was on a mission. She strode purposefully across the small shop and sat down, her vibrant blue eyes never leaving his.

Edward swallowed uneasily, took a deep breath, and forced a smile. He loved Bella, and if it meant smoothing things over with Rose, he would do it. Not to mention it was the right thing to do.

"Good morning, Rosalie," he said with confidence.

"Morning." She was curt and cool, much like she'd been the first few times he'd met her, last night included.

"Can I get you a coffee?"

"Sure. With cream and sugar."

He nodded and got up, grateful for the reprieve from her stare.

A few minutes later with their coffees in hand, he sat down. A few sips and what felt like hours of silence, he finally found his voice.

"Thanks for agreeing to meet me here. I know we have some stuff to talk about, and I have some explaining to do."

She didn't say anything. Bella had already made her promise to listen with an open mind. The minute she talked to Bella, hell the minute she saw her, she knew something was different. Her eyes were bright, her cheeks were pink, and she was practically glowing. When Bella had confessed what happened, Rosalie was pissed. After everything she'd been through with him, she couldn't believe Bella was going to jump back into... no, that she had jumped back into bed with him. Just thinking about it made Rosalie's insides churn. She would never forget how broken her best friend had been, and she wasn't even sure she had it in her to go through that again. Especially not after Bella was finally happy again.

She looked at the man sitting before her and she could tell time had changed him. He looked older, more mature, and even though she could see the happiness in his eyes, she knew he'd suffered his own losses and regrets.

"Rose, I wanted to start by telling you how grateful I am for everything you've done... you did, for Bella. I never meant to hurt her like that," Edward said quietly.

"I didn't do it for you," she said, voice icy. "I did it because I love her, and she's my best friend."

He nodded knowingly. "I know. But it doesn't change the fact I'm still grateful."

After the words were out, Edward felt a hint of relief at the slight signs of acceptance on her face. She had nodded slightly even in her coolness, and he took that as a good sign and pressed on.

"I love her. I never stopped loving her," Edward said quietly, feeling his throat constrict at the truth of his words. He had loved her all these years and was grateful just to have a second chance.

"How convenient, Edward. It's easy to say those things, but your actions certainly don't back them up."

"I know it looks like that, but it's the truth." Edward's response was smooth and honest. He knew it to the depths of his bones, and if he could go back and change things, he would. He and Bella had already hashed through this, and there was no guarantee they wouldn't have ended up exactly where they were or worse. Circumstances had conspired to give them another chance, to give him a chance to make things right, and he would do everything in his power to do just that.

"Edward, you walked out on her. You chose the fucking _rodeo_ over her. I don't call that love," she said tightly, her voice higher, harsher, and louder than she intended.

She looked around, but no one was watching. She wouldn't have cared if they were. She had some things to say, and he was going to listen and answer for them.

"Do you have any idea what happened after you walked out on her? Do you have any idea how broken and empty she was?" She paused, but he didn't say anything.

"She was a mess, Edward. So sad and broken. She walked around those last few weeks like a zombie, barely eating, sleeping, or going to class. Do you know how horrible it was to watch that? To know you were there, that you could have done something to fix it? To see my best friend so lost?

"I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I don't want her going through that again when you decide there's something bigger and better out there for you. I won't let you do that to her. Not again."

By the time she was finished, she was practically rigid with anger and sadness, and for the first time, Edward really got a glimpse of what his leaving had done to her. He hadn't just hurt Bella; he'd hurt Rosalie, too.

His stomach twisted at the realization and he could hardly look at her, his mind and heart warring over the past.

After a long pause, he finally got the courage to look at her again. She was staring right at him, her eyes unwavering.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I can't apologize enough for hurting you or Bella. I wish I could fix it, erase all of it, but I can't. All I know is my life was empty and so damn lonely without her. As ridiculous as it sounds, I was just drifting without her. I know that now.

"When she showed up on my doorstep, I was at a complete loss. I tried to pretend I hadn't changed, but after spending a few hours with her, and then watching her walk out of my life all over again, I knew I couldn't let that happen.

"I should have chosen differently. I should have forced her to talk to me before she made me choose-"

"What!" Rosalie practically shrieked. "Before _she_ made _you_ choose? What the hell are you talking about? She didn't have a choice. You had already chosen the rodeo over her. It was always about _you_, about _your_ career, the horses, the thrill. _You_. _You_. _You_."

Edward slapped his hands on the table. He could feel his blood starting to boil. "That's bullshit, Rosalie, and you know it. I wasn't the only one that made a decision that day. Should I have followed through on my promise to go to the dance? Yes. Should I have forced the conversation that we should have had? Yes. But Bella had made her decision already.

"Ask her. She'll tell you she owns part of this. It takes two to make or break a relationship, and I definitely let her down. I should have done things differently. I should have taken her to that damn dance. I should have talked to her, fought for her, but I didn't, and I've regretted it every day since then."

Edward's voice cracked at the end, and tears welled up in his eyes as he sat back, all the fight leaving him. He didn't know what else to say to make her see that things were different, that he was different.

Rosalie picked up her coffee cup and took a drink of the now cool liquid. She had never seen Edward like that, and she knew, as much as she hated to admit it, that Bella was right. He wasn't the same guy he was back then... and as uncertain as she was, she knew she needed to let it go. For Bella's sake.

She set her mug down and waited for him to look at her. When his eyes finally met hers, she smiled softly.

"As much as it pains me to admit it, you're right. It wasn't just you," she paused. "I know you and Bella have talked through this; she said the same thing. It's not easy for me to see blame on her part, but it does take two."

There was another long pause before she finally said, "Thank you for trying to make this right and for the apology."

Edward's eyes brightened slightly, flickers of hope shining at the thought that Rosalie might actually give them her blessing. They didn't need it, but he wanted it. And he knew Bella felt the same way.

"But let me be clear. If you hurt her again, I'll kick your ass, Edward. I love that girl. She's practically my sister, and I can't watch her hurt anymore. Not after you. Not after Riley. She deserves to be happy, to love again. I can see she's happy with you… so, don't fuck it up."

He nodded, feeling a huge weight lift off his shoulders. "I won't. Thank you, Rose."

~*SD*~

The rest of the weekend went off without a hitch. Edward told Bella all about his conversation with Rose, and Bella, satisfied with the way they'd resolved things, didn't feel the need to drag it out. It was a relief to know Rose and Edward had made peace, and she knew with time, Rose would come to love Edward again.

Bella and Edward spent every remaining minute together… and alone. They talked, laughed, cooked, snuggled, made love, and planned for the future. They weren't sure how all the pieces of their long distance relationship would fit together, but they were determined to make it work.

Just as Edward was about to climb into his truck to leave late on Sunday evening, a surge of confidence rushed over him. When he looked in her eyes, all he could see was love, and he knew right then he was going to marry her. He reached for her hips and pulled her body flush with his own. Her eyes sparkled, and a soft, happy smile spread across her face.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Edward," she murmured as her arms wrapped around his neck, and she buried her face in his neck. She breathed him in – linen and sunshine – and felt her heart twinge at the knowledge that they were going to be apart for the next few weeks.

"Me too, Bunny."

They stood like that for a long time, relishing the warmth and comfort they both felt in each other. Eventually, Bella pulled back.

"You should probably get on the road," she said softly.

"Yeah… but I'd rather stay here with you."

With a brush of his lips against hers and a conflicted heart, he told her he loved her, climbed in the truck, and drove away.

~*SD*~

I just posted my entry for the HardCoreNerdward Contest – My Crazy Engineer. You can get it here or on my profile: http : / / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net / s / 7255750 / 1 / My_Crazy_Engineer.

There are other fun entries over at the contest site. Make sure you check those out! http : /www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net / ~

As always, I can't wait to hear what you think!


	13. Chapter 13 Life Lessons

Today is MsKathy's birthday. And in celebration of that, I decided a little more Rodeoward was needed. Enjoy and send her some birthday love!

Special thanks to mycrookedsmile and jadsmama for doing a quick preread at the eleventh hour!

There are pictures on the blog that helped shape some of this little futuretake.

http : / jessyptff . blogspot . com

* * *

~*SD*~

19 Years Later

Liza sat waiting on the cool, brick steps that led up to her boyfriend, Gavin's house. He told her to meet him here, that he'd be back in time to pick her up, but he was late. Twenty minutes late. Again.

She stared at the yellow daisies in her hand, smiling softly at the delicate petals, before dropping her hand back to her lap. Today was their one-year anniversary, and they were planning to go to the big barn dance over at Peter Foster's house.

She sighed and was just about to stand up when she saw the beams of headlights slowly making their way toward Masen Ranch. As the truck got closer, she realized it was Gavin's mom, Bella.

When the truck pulled to a stop, she looked up, half hoping Gavin would be with her, but he wasn't. Tears pricked at her eyes, and she desperately tried to swallow them back. She didn't want to ruin her makeup… or let Mrs. Masen see her cry.

As Bella climbed out of the cab of the pickup, she was surprised to see Liza sitting on her front porch. The sun had just set, and the air was quite cool. Liza certainly wasn't dressed to be outside. Walking toward her, she took in the sight in front of her. Liza, looking utterly miserable, dejected almost, and all dressed up. She quickly wracked her brain trying to figure out why she was here and why Gavin wasn't.

_Their anniversary._

"Liza, sweetheart, what are you doing on the porch?" Bella asked as she stopped in front of her.

Liza looked up, blinking back tears, and Bella knew Gavin had done it again. This pattern of behavior was getting out of hand, and he wasn't even out of high school yet.

"I'm waiting for Gavin," she said sadly.

Bella frowned. She had just spoken with Edward, and the two of them still had another round, maybe two, depending on how well Gavin rode, before they made it home. That would take at least another hour. Disappointment welled up inside her. After everything she and Edward had been through, she expected more from her son… and husband.

"Come inside. I'm afraid it's going to be a while." Bella attempted to smile to help temper the bad news she was about to deliver. She couldn't believe she was going to have to tell Liza that Gavin wasn't going to make it back in time to take her wherever they were going. She took a deep breath. Sometimes being a mother really sucked, and this was one of those times.

"He's not coming, is he?" Liza said, her voice flat and desperately sad. It was as if she been dipped in a vat of disappointment, and it permeated every part of her – the downward slant of her normally beautiful smile, the dark sapphire blue of her gorgeous eyes, and the slump of her shoulders as she learned forward to rest her elbows on her knees.

"I'm sorry, honey. He's going to be at least another hour, maybe more."

Bella looked at the flowers on the ground. Tears were billowing in her eyes, and without a thought, Bella pulled the young girl in her arms, knowing full well what that bitter sadness and let-down felt like.

Liza sniffled as her shoulders shook. "It's our anniversary," she whispered, as her tears fell.

Bella ran her hand through Liza's blonde waves, soothing and calming in the way only someone who'd been in those shoes could. She let her cry, and while she held her, she decided right then and there that history was not going to repeat itself. If Gavin wanted to ride, that was fine, but he wasn't going to string this beautiful girl along and let her play second fiddle. Liza deserved better.

~*SD*~

The air in the arena was electric. Edward hovered above the chute. Gavin gripped the rigging and wrapped the strap tightly around his hand and wrist.

"You ready?" Edward asked.

Adjusting his hat with his free hand and shifting a bit on the saddle, Gavin nodded. With a deep breath he called out, "Now!"

The chute whipped open, and the horse tore out, bucking wildly. Edward watched his son in amazement and awe. Gavin's thighs gripped the horse's ribs tightly, and his arm waived easily in the air. He made it look so easy, but Edward knew how much effort Gavin was exerting, how much strength and concentration it took to ensure the horse didn't get the upper hand.

With every buck and turn, Edward felt his own body shift as if he were the one in the ring. It was surprising how much these events made him think about his own rodeo career. As he looked back, he had no regrets. Like he'd told Bella that weekend they were holed up together waiting for her car to be repaired, he had achieved what he'd set out to do.

A glance at the clock and the sound of the buzzer indicated the round was over. Gavin jumped off the horse, and it trotted away, happy to be free of the offending kid on its back.

Thundering applause sounded as the scores popped up on to the screen. Gavin looked over his shoulder at Edward and grinned. That ride had just secured him a place in the National High School Rodeo Finals. Elated, he jogged across the arena and was immediately enveloped in a tight hug.

"I'm so proud of you, son," Edward said. When they pulled apart, Edward smacked his son's shoulder. "Nice ride. You looked great out there."

Gavin beamed. "Thanks, dad. I felt good. I could feel the horse's moves before it made them. It was just like we practiced."

Edward nodded. He knew exactly what Gavin was referring to; they'd spent weeks working on anticipating the horse's moves, "listening" to the way the subtle shifts in direction communicated exactly what the horse was going to do.

As they walked out of the arena and onto the main thoroughfare, a crowd of fellow riders and fans immediately surrounded him. Edward watched his son easily navigate the complex world of popularity and success. He was so proud of everything Gavin had accomplished. It was hard to believe his son was practically grown. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine he'd be following his own son's rodeo career, and yet, it seemed it was destined to happen.

When Bella told him she was pregnant about a year after they got married, Edward had been surprised, elated, and scared shitless. But as her pregnancy wore on and her belly grew, Edward couldn't help but fall in love with the little guy he knew was in there. Gavin arrived, rearing to go, at 6:02 in the morning in late October. From the beginning, he was all boy. Rough and tumble, mud pies, and born to be outdoors.

He and Gavin spent a lot of time outside, especially after that first spring. Edward would strap him on his back and work in the barn or elsewhere on the ranch. Gavin loved the fresh air and playing with the animals. When he said the word _horsey_ and pointed to Lady Grey, Edward knew it was time to test out his riding legs.

Bella was hesitant at first, but when she saw him pointing and saying _horsey_ over and over, she couldn't resist. Edward rode with Gavin in front, his arm wrapped tightly around his son, as they slowly walked around the paddock. The entire experience was full of _horsey _and_ go_ and kicking legs and giggles, and it was clear at that moment his son was born to ride.

And Edward had been right. Gavin practically spent more time on the back of the pony they'd purchased for him than he did on his own two feet. When Ellie came along three years later, the amount of time he and Gavin spent together exponentially increased. What started as fun father-son bonding soon turned into a way of life. Gavin entered his first rodeo at the age of six, and they'd never looked back.

His phone beeped, and as he pulled it out of his pocket, two young girls pushed their way into the crowd, clearly trying to get closer to his son.

_Damn bunnies are already after him, _Edward thought as he walked away. He couldn't say he was surprised. Gavin had grown into quite the young man. Fortunately, Liza had Gavin wrapped around her finger, and he only had eyes for her.

Edward smiled at the thought. He knew what that was like.

**Gavin missed his and Liza's anniversary tonight. She's in the living room crying, and I'm making tea. He needs to fix this. And you need to talk to him. **

Edward reread the words on his screen two or three times before it really sank in. He watched as Gavin laughed with his friends and fortunately ignored the bunnies.

He pulled off his hat and scrubbed his hand through his hair. Much like Bella had done, Edward wracked his brain for some clue as to what had happened. The last he had heard, Gavin was over the moon about her, so he was at a complete loss for how this could have happened. Gavin knew he had a tournament that weekend. Hadn't he told Liza or made plans for another night? The more he thought about it, the more he knew there had to be _some _explanation. His son was too responsible for this.

But _some _explanation somehow didn't seem good enough when he reread Bella's text one more time. He could imagine the scene unfolding at his house – the heartbroken look on Liza's face… and worse, the disappointed look on Bella's. She hadn't said it outright, but he knew what she was thinking. He knew full well they would be having a conversation about this and how they were raising their son. He wasn't looking forward to rehashing the painful reminders of their past. It was a long time ago, but it still stung to think about how close he'd come to really losing Bella.

With a heavy sigh, Edward pushed his way through the crowd until he grabbed Gavin by the arm, leaned in, and said they needed to talk.

He didn't have a plan. He wasn't sure what he was going to say or how to confront his son, but in the minute it had taken him to walk over there, his own choices long ago came smashing down around him. He didn't want to overreact. Liza and Gavin were not he and Bella. The circumstances were different. Hell, they were younger and just about to start their lives. He had to keep that in perspective.

Gavin looked at him strangely, the look on his father's face unsettling. With a big smile, genuine to everyone's eyes except his father's, he excused himself and followed his dad.

"Dad, what's go-"

"Did you miss a date with Liza?" Edward asked abruptly, cutting his son off before he could even ask what was going on.

Caught off guard, Gavin just stared at him. "What?"

"You heard me. Your mom just sent me a text saying Liza's at our house crying."

He was still on cloud nine, basking in the glow of such a momentous win, and his dad's words didn't register.

_Why was Liza at his house?_

_Crying._

As he tried to piece it all together, his eyes landed on the large time clock.

_7:49._

Slowly, it dawned on him. _Their anniversary. Their date. The dance. _

He felt sick. He pulled his hat off his head and ran his fingers through his hair.

He looked at his dad's expectant face.

"I missed our one-year anniversary."

~*SD*~

After she pressed send, Bella filled two mugs full of steaming water, dropped in a chamomile tea bag, and carried them out to the living room. Liza was where she'd left her - curled up on the couch, covered in the purple cashmere blanket she'd taken a liking to the first time she came over almost a year ago, holding a framed picture of Gavin at the High School Finals the year before. Bella could see the confusion and sadness on her face. So forlorn and lost. It was a look she recognized as one she'd worn many years ago. Her heart ached for that sweet girl. She knew what it was like to sit waiting, and she wasn't sure what to say.

After being a big part of Gavin's life for the past year, she and Liza were fairly close. She hated seeing her upset, and the fact it was over the rodeo did nothing to ease the already burgeoning tension she felt. Gavin potentially had a professional riding career in front of him. He loved being on the back of a horse, just like his father. The two of them were naturals when it came to feeling and anticipating the horse's moves, but Gavin hadn't talked much about whether he wanted to keep riding in college or even beyond. He and Liza were still so young - close to graduating from high school - with their whole lives ahead of them.

Even in the midst of all that uncertainly, Bella knew one thing for certain – Gavin and Liza were in love. Gavin adored her and practically worshipped the ground she walked on, and it had been like that long before they ever got together. She was the one girl he'd crushed on – for years – before he finally, with a lot prodding, asked her out. They'd been inseparable ever since. The path before them certainly wasn't clear, and it definitely wasn't going to be easy.

"Here you go," Bella said, interrupting Liza's thoughts.

Liza smiled sadly and reached for the mug. "Thanks."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Liza brought the mug to her lips and blew, attempting to cool it and stall all at once. _Did she want to talk about it? _ She knew she was confused. Her feelings were all muddled. She was trying to rationalize Gavin's promise to be there, to celebrate, and his failure to show up.

She would have understood if he had said he might be late, even called at the last minute. She knew he had a tournament, but he hadn't said anything like that. She was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt without second guessing his feelings for her, but it was hard.

Bella waited. She could see the wheels turning in Liza's head, and she knew what was going on in there. She knew what kind of rationalizing Liza was trying to think through and decided it was time to say something. With a small sip of her tea, she set the mug down, and moved over to the couch.

Surprised, Liza looked up and then started fiddling with tassels on the blanket.

"You know," Bella said as she grabbed a pillow and got comfortable. "Edward and I weren't always together. We met in college and dated pretty much the entire time. He was... everything. At least I thought he was at the time. "

Liza's fingers stopped fidgeting, and she sat up, her curiosity piqued. "What happened?"

"The rodeo." Bella let that sink in for effect. And then with a deep breath offered words that still stung. "He was in love with the rodeo, and in the end that's the life he chose."

"He broke up with you? Over the rodeo?" Liza looked horrified.

Bella smiled. She was used to that kind of reaction from people when they heard how things had gone down all those years ago.

"It wasn't that black and white. He was amazing. A natural, really. Watching him ride was so exhilarating. You could the adrenaline practically pouring out of him whenever he was on the back of a horse. Gavin's got a lot of that in him, as well," Bella said as she picked up her tea and took another sip. "I was his biggest fan; I practically went to every competition. I loved him, would have done anything for him... I did. But after a while, it became too much. I got resentful, and when, at the last minute, he told me he couldn't make this big dance that I'd planned and told him about well in advance, it was the last straw. I told him to choose between the rodeo and me. At the time, I didn't feel like I had a choice, but that ultimatum and the subsequent choices we both made altered the course of our relationship for years."

Bella paused.

"But you got back together," Liza said, more statement than question.

"Years later. While he went on the professional circuit, I traveled and then moved back to Green River and met my first husband, Riley. We were married five years before he was killed in a car accident."

Liza gasped. "Oh gosh."

"It was a long time ago, and I still miss Riley. He was an amazing man. After he died, I never expected to fall in love again, but when Edward and I met again by chance..." Bella smiled that happy-in-love smile Liza wanted for herself. "The rest is history."

Liza laughed. "Wow. That's such a great story."

"It didn't always feel that way, Liza, but things worked themselves out. I'm grateful for the second chance Edward and I were given."

They both sat there, silent and in thought – Bella reflecting on the last nineteen years, and Liza on the one year she and Gavin had together.

"I love him. Gavin. But sometimes, like tonight, I'm not sure if that's enough." Liza bit her lip, as if nervous she'd spoken the unthinkable out loud.

Bella simply nodded. She knew exactly what Liza meant. She had wondered that in the early years of her relationship with Edward, especially toward the end when the answer became clear. Love wasn't always enough. As she stared at Liza, she was proud that even at such a young age, this beautiful young woman realized there was more to the equation than roses and teddy bears.

"If you want my honest opinion, I'm not sure it is either. Relationships take work, and they take two. Gavin messed up tonight. I'm not going to defend his actions, but with that said, situations like this are a reality if the rodeo is a life he chooses.

"And you have to decide if you can live with it. It means you aren't always number one, that things will pop up and plans have to change. It's not easier, but I know other couples who have successfully made it.

"Bottom line: You two need to talk this out," Bella said.

"I know… I just… I don't want to lose him," Liza said quietly.

Bella reached over and laid her hand on top of Liza's. She gave it a squeeze.

"Just talk to him, sweetie. You guys will figure this out."

~*SD*~

"I can't believe I forgot to call her," Gavin said as he ran his hand through his still-sweaty hair. "I promised her I'd take her to that barn dance at Peter's."

Edward watched his son grapple with the gravity of his mistake. He wanted to tell him it would be okay, that these kinds of things happen, but he knew better. He'd made a mistake like that once, and it had cost him dearly.

"Son, I'm going to give you a piece of unsolicited advice."

Edward looked at his son waiting for pushback but got none.

"When we get home, don't make excuses. Just apologize, be honest about forgetting, and let her lead the way. You can't talk your way out of this. You messed up, badly I might add."

Gavin rolled his eyes. "I know I did, but it's not like she didn't know I was riding today. She knows things run late sometimes."

Edward looked at his son incredulously, surprised how blasé he was being about this.

"What?" Gavin asked, seeing the disbelieving look on his father's face.

"Forgive me, but you act like you don't care how she feels. That's not like you, especially given the conversation we had last week about you two going to college together."

Gavin backpedaled. "We are, but sometimes the rodeo comes first. You know what I mean, dad. You lived it."

Edward did know. He knew what it was like to have adrenaline coursing through his body, the crowd cheering and chanting his name, and to feel the way his body moved with and gripped the horse's body. It was addicting and indescribable, but so was the pain of living without the love of his life. He felt that same warmth spread over him whenever he thought about how lucky he'd been when Bella knocked on his front door nineteen years ago.

Bella was right. He needed to have this talk with his son.

"You're right, Gavin. I do know what it's like. And there's nothing like the thrill, the rush, but I can also tell you how devastating it is to lose the one person you love more than anything. There are no words for how much that sucks, how no high, no crowd, no ride can fill that kind of void."

"Dad, come on. You act like mom hasn't always been there for you."

He knew Gavin was aware Bella had been married before, but it was becoming increasingly clear that he hadn't put all the pieces or the timeline together.

"She wasn't." Edward said grimly.

Gavin looked surprised. "What do you mean?"

Edward proceeded to tell him their story - how the rodeo was everything to him. How Bella had stood by his side unconditionally, even sacrificing her feelings... until she couldn't take being second any longer. How he'd lived without her for eight years and then, for a long time, felt like he had to compete with Riley's memory. And thankfully, how lucky he was fate had given them another chance, blessed them with two kids, and a beautiful life.

As he relived the good and the bad of those memories, he prayed his son would figure things out without repeating his same mistakes.

Gavin listened intently, his eyes never leaving the shadowy landscape that passed by as they drove home.

"Look, I'm not telling you to make some kind of life altering decision tonight or tomorrow or even next week. You will have to make some choices at some point, and some of them may involve sacrifice and compromise. I promise, if it's for the right girl, it'll be worth it."

Gavin sat, silent, pondering what his dad had told him. He hadn't realized how different his dad's life – and by default his own – could have been.

He thought about Liza. He loved her, of that he had no doubt. He couldn't imagine being away from her much less losing her completely. She was everything to him.

But then he thought about riding. He loved it, too. He'd always dreamed of following in his dad's footsteps, a path he thought was a lot clearer than it really was.

He felt so confused, and the closer they got to the ranch, the more nervous he became. What if she wouldn't talk to him? Had he really messed things up so badly she wouldn't give him a chance to apologize?

"I'm not sure what to say," Gavin finally said.

Edward looked at his son, compassion and love overflowing. "You don't have to say anything, Gav. There's no pressure to make a decision about this now, but I wanted you to have some perspective. You have to be fair to Liza. You can't string her along. You have to give and take. She can't do it all."

"That not what I mean. I'm not sure what to say when I see her," he said, his voice tapering off.

They briefly made eye contact before Edward reached over and patted his son on the shoulder. "Just follow her lead."

~*SD*~

Liza heard the crunch of gravel and felt her stomach twist nervously. She had thought about going home, but the longer she stayed and talked with Bella the more she wanted to see Gavin. She needed to see him.

The front door opened and she jumped up, the blanket spilling to the floor.

Edward walked in, followed closely by a dejected looking Gavin. He looked tired, and she immediately wished she had acted on her earlier thought of going home. It was clear he wasn't in the right place to actually talk through anything, and she didn't want to make things worse than they already were.

The air in the room seemed to thicken almost instantaneously. Bella and Edward glanced at each other, before she moved to pull her son into a hug, congratulating him and whispering something else in his ear. He looked right at his mom, his eyes serious, and nodded before looking down... and then at Liza.

He gave her a small smile, and Liza felt her heart crack a little. She looked down, afraid the tears she'd been able to contain for the last few hours might break free.

"Liza," Gavin whispered as he slowly walked toward her. She barely noticed Edward and Bella leaving the room or that the butterflies in her stomach hand turned into a herd of thundering horses. All she saw when she finally lifted her eyes was the sorrow and regret in Gavin's gorgeous hazel eyes.

His eyes never left hers or maybe hers didn't leave his. Either way, it didn't matter as insecurity and doubt, flooded every part of him.

He had no idea if she would be open to his apology, if she'd let him touch her, kiss her, but damn her wanted to. He needed to feel her in his arms, just to know things were okay.

He reached for her hand, and the second it took her to respond felt like a thousand. Finally, her fingers tangled with his. Warmth and a sense of rightness mixed with the river of negativity that had left him feeling breathless, and suddenly he felt like he could breathe.

"I'm sorry, Liza. I know there's nothing I can say to change what happened here tonight. I screwed up. I'm so sorry. I-"

"Just kiss me."

He stared at her in disbelief – partly because he couldn't believe she wanted him to touch her much less kiss her, and partly because she was never that vocal about what she wanted.

When he didn't move, Liza pulled her fingers from his, frustrated. "Look, Gavin, we're not going to solve everything tonight. Yes, I'm hurt. Yes, it sucks that you missed our anniversary. And yes, we need to talk. But right now, I just… right now, I just need us to be on the same page. Please," she whispered, her voice tapering off at the end.

Her eyes pleaded with his, and he didn't think twice. He reached up and cupped her beautiful face in the palms of his hands, his fingers lightly brushing across her cheeks.

He felt such a rush of emotion – gratitude, hope, happiness… love. He knew his dad was right. At some point things would probably get complicated, and he and Liza would have to make some tough choices. For now, though, he just wanted to be with her, to feel her, to know she was his.

"I love you, baby. So much," he said as he dipped down and brought his lips to hers. It was slow and tender, and then intense and needy. Their lips and tongues glided against each other in apology and acceptance.

When they broke apart, he rested his forehead against hers, silently thanking her for giving him a reprieve and a chance to make things right.

"Happy anniversary, Liza."

She smiled that perfect smile he loved, the one where her gorgeous blue eyes lit up and every part of her glowed.

"Do you want to go get some ice cream with me?" he asked.

She smiled. "Yes."

~*SD*~

Edward and Bella waved goodbye as they watched them pull out of the driveway.

"What did you tell him?" Bella asked.

Edward smiled. He knew she was going to ask, and he had already decided he wasn't going to repeat his conversation. It was between him and Gavin.

"Exactly what he needed to hear."

Bella narrowed her eyes at him and huffed. "You really aren't going to tell me?" she asked in that voice she used when she really wanted something.

He brushed the backs of his fingers across her cheekbone and smiled. "That's not going to work on me this time, Bunny."

She grinned, playfully patted his shoulder, and changed tactics. "Okay. Okay. I'll let it go, but you better make it up to me." This time the look on her face was sassy and sweet.

Edward took the hint. After nineteen years of marriage, he knew exactly what that look meant, and he wasn't about to let a chance to make love to his wife get away from him.

After a rough kiss, he practically dragged her to their bedroom and spent the rest of the evening relishing in his own good fortune and ravishing his wife.

Fully sated, they lay together, legs and sheets tangled, when he whispered, "I told him our story and reminded him that it's not all about him, that he had choices to make… but that he also had time."

Bella rolled over and stared at her husband's face. "Thank you."

And they both knew it was for more than just telling her what he'd told Gavin. It was about trying to protect their son and a sweet young girl from going through the pain they'd both gone through so long ago. She knew Edward rarely spoke about their past. He didn't want to drudge old, painful memories, but it was clear their story was meant to be told, that it could make a difference in their son's life.

She brushed her lips against his jaw and lips, and then settled back into his warm embrace, grateful once again, that fate had smiled on and blessed them so richly.


End file.
